Clover isn't in this list, I am exceedingly disappointed. Clover is best pony.

Clover summed up in one image: http://thattagen.deviantart.com/art/ReATG-68-Dumb...

It doesn't help that the writing in the "Show" section is kinda outright bad. Full of painful phrasing like...

"purple-furred unicorn horn"
"air feeling thick as molasses"
"eyes felt like they were dusted with sand last night"
"mumbled through clenched teeth at the reproachful baby dragon inside her head"

Just to name a few of the more gross examples. That's some pretty awful writing. Showing not telling does not mean "Use a bunch of awkward metaphors, and over-elaborate descriptions to pad the amount of words in a story." Good writing is characterized by both showing AND efficiency of language.

One of the mistakes I see most often in amateur writing is authors being afraid to use certain words frequently. It's okay to use pronouns and character names repeatedly. You can call her "Twilight Sparkle" instead of coming up with creative descriptions like "The purple unicorn." Especially as this is fanfiction, we all already know Twilight Sparkle is purple. There's no reason to tell the reader stuff they already know.

Likewise, it's okay to use words like "said" repeatedly, instead of working your thesaurus into overdrive. If a story only used three tags... "He/she said," "He/she asked," "He/she yelled/screamed," 90% of the time the story loses nothing. If for some reason you say "But now the reader won't understand the tone of voice my character was speaking in!" then you should go back, and rewrite what your character said so that the words they say carry their tone of voice, not the tags. Removing all the tags like "He said sarcastically" and "He murmured" and "He groaned" will generally do nothing but IMPROVE your writing by forcing you to improve your dialogue to get the point across by showing not telling (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) what the character's intent was while speaking . (While there is nothing strictly wrong with using other tags, this is actually a technique I frequently see recommended to amateur authors as an idiot-proof way to strengthen your dialogue)

Now, I wouldn't say stories should be in anyway prevented from being posted on EQD for amateur mistakes like these; we aren't publishers trying to pull a profit. It's perfectly okay for stories to have flaws in their writing style. But at the same time, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THE OMNIBUS SHOULD NOT BE ENCOURAGING THIS STUFF BY USING IT IN IT'S EXAMPLES OF "GOOD" WRITING.