en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/1284516 Comments by jenschwab http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/05/lose-a-friend-how-do-you-know-it-is-over.html#IDComment645128343 In any life, but especially in military life, there will always be friendships that come and go, and that's healthy and normal. We grow, we mature into different paths or different arenas, and friendships grow and change too. My best friend from college was my world in college. But now, 10 years later, we've moved into new stages of our lives where we each have new focuses. I love her all the same, and would do anything for her, but to expect that we're going to communicate and invest in each other the same as we did then would be absurd. She is not any less important to me, but I can not be all things to all people. And neither can she. We are human, not superheros. We can not freeze time and keep all things the same. There is no room for the new people when we cling in desperation to the old. Enjoy where you are now. Enjoy the people around you now, for who they are to you now and the great times of friendship, now. And love them as they move into new circles of life, and as you do too. Sat, 18 May 2013 14:39:23 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/05/lose-a-friend-how-do-you-know-it-is-over.html#IDComment645128343 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/02/would-you-send-your-milkid-to-survivalist-camp.html#IDComment580459837 Building skills, no matter what they are, is never a bad thing. I remember the summer I learned to shoot at the rifle range at my summer camp - and it was a blast. I kept going back every day, improving my skills and working hard to earn my marksman badge. I was very proud to receive that award at the end. But teaching kids to fear is never okay. Survivalist skills are useful and great to learn. But do it out of a sense of adventure and learning, not by teaching my kid to be scared of people and how to draw lines in the sand against others. Wed, 27 Feb 2013 17:36:44 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/02/would-you-send-your-milkid-to-survivalist-camp.html#IDComment580459837 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/02/poll-should-you-tell-if-spouse-is-cheating.html#IDComment579826232 The daughter needs to find an advocate to confide in and take action for her. No child should be put in this kind of position. She needs a third-party to take the action of telling, seeking justice, etc. The situation is wrong, but it's wrong to ask a daughter to bear this burden. Tue, 26 Feb 2013 18:08:57 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/02/poll-should-you-tell-if-spouse-is-cheating.html#IDComment579826232 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/02/would-you-want-a-psychic-reading.html#IDComment563505523 I believe in asking for a vision, and have done that of God on a few occasions. Sometimes, you need to know what far off point you're headed towards, and God has been faithful to show that to me when I needed it. And then there are plenty of times when he asks me to just take things one step at a time and trust that it's a good path. That's frustrating, but I have found that whatever path God calls me to follow, whether it be with a map or a glow stick, that it's a good one. Tue, 5 Feb 2013 15:57:14 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/02/would-you-want-a-psychic-reading.html#IDComment563505523 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/02/the-jeep-super-bowl-commercial-and-the-military.html#IDComment562586238 I am split the same way. In the end, I don't think the message (wording) was clear enough to communicate to a general population that is so detached from the actual process of war. In the end, I feel like anything military-related in advertising is such lip service when most Americans would be surprised by the fact that we are still fighting a war. Mon, 4 Feb 2013 14:21:53 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/02/the-jeep-super-bowl-commercial-and-the-military.html#IDComment562586238 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/women-in-combat-make-me-a-sal-giunta.html#IDComment553800076 In my 8 years in the Army, I've known women who weren't cut out for an army desk job, and women who could hang with the toughest men. Make the standards in every MOS accurately reflect the requirements of the job, and then apply them equally. Discrimination - done. If you can hack, you can hack it. If you can't, you can't. It's really that simple. I have no desire to be an infantrywoman - but if you do, and you can do the job well, then rock it. Fri, 25 Jan 2013 14:46:23 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/women-in-combat-make-me-a-sal-giunta.html#IDComment553800076 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/spouse-deserve-military-retirement.html#IDComment542429883 I'm going to support his commitment to the army regardless...but if someone wants to recognize 20+ years of spouse service as well, I'm just liking the jewelry concept. I'm not saying spouses need incentives to be faithful...although a few less deployments might help. Sat, 12 Jan 2013 21:24:44 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/spouse-deserve-military-retirement.html#IDComment542429883 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/spouse-deserve-military-retirement.html#IDComment542223749 I like the jewelry idea! It's like a medal or ribbon...except one that we will actually wear all the time! Nothing like a diamond around my neck to commemorate my faithfulness to military life! Sat, 12 Jan 2013 14:24:14 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/spouse-deserve-military-retirement.html#IDComment542223749 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/dangerous-deployment.html#IDComment537052033 You had me at #1, 2 and 3...and then it kept getting better! Really good stuff here. Sun, 6 Jan 2013 14:29:32 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/dangerous-deployment.html#IDComment537052033 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/why-everyone-hates-the-frg.html#IDComment537049754 Every FRG needs to be assessed individually. Some are crap, and some are outstanding. What makes an outstanding FRG is people who care more about people than programs/jobs/reputation/awards. If it doesn't revolve around a truthful assessment of family needs, and then produce programs, projects and events designed to directly address those actual needs - then it's probably an insular institutionalized ball of crap. If yours is outstanding, enjoy it and take notes. If yours is crap, what are you doing to make it better? Infiltrate and spread new/better ideas. Use your energy to do what others are not doing. Sun, 6 Jan 2013 14:23:36 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2013/01/why-everyone-hates-the-frg.html#IDComment537049754 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/military-mistress.html#IDComment530361219 I hear you! As a prior service wife, it's really hard to watch him go off on the adventures I used to have, while I'm stuck with dirty diapers. It's taught me a lot about the nature of contentment and learning to find the adventure wherever I am. Fri, 28 Dec 2012 15:39:22 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/military-mistress.html#IDComment530361219 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/new-year-new-military-you.html#IDComment529592060 I like it. Great resolutions - good inspiration! -Thanks! Thu, 27 Dec 2012 17:12:24 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/new-year-new-military-you.html#IDComment529592060 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/are-we-numb-to-guns.html#IDComment523189898 All the self-defense and combat training in the world can be wiped out by a stray bullet of a madman. And all the laws and regulations will be overcome by someone determined to do harm. Preparation and precautions are okay, but ultimately we are not invincible. And this is where I get my strength to walk through the day, without being a slave to fear or worry, and able to enjoy the day for what it is: Isaiah 41:10-13 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 11 Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. 12 You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. 13 For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.” Wed, 19 Dec 2012 14:36:50 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/are-we-numb-to-guns.html#IDComment523189898 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/spouse-clubs-and-the-problem-with-being-exclusive.html#IDComment518961703 Gay, Straight. Girlfriend/Boyfriend, Spouse. It doesn't really matter what personal preferences, beliefs or traditions are. The point of family programs and clubs is to SUPPORT THOSE WHO SUPPORT SERVICE MEMBERS. Period. I'm not a fan of gay marriage. But that's not the point. The point is that that soldier's same-sex partner needs just as much support as anyone else. Her partner is a military member - military life is hard, and she needs a friend and support system. And if the family programs aren't willing to step in and help and offer support, they should be de-funded. And don't forget Parents, Siblings, Grandparents, etc... Each military member has a unique set of people that support them, and those in leadership must be willing to extend a helping hand to any of them. Fri, 14 Dec 2012 15:56:38 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/spouse-clubs-and-the-problem-with-being-exclusive.html#IDComment518961703 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/change-or-die-military-marriage.html#IDComment517127407 An integrated approach is always best. We need to be connected to other military families, who share in our specific struggles. But we also need connections in the non-military world, lest we lose ourselves in the bubble. So many people want to help military families. If the family programs could teach real problem-solving and networking, you would have a backbone of military support, teaching family members how to find what they need themselves from their specific community. Wed, 12 Dec 2012 14:34:46 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/change-or-die-military-marriage.html#IDComment517127407 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/my-husband-wants-a-gun-in-the-house.html#IDComment511990967 1 - Military member feel naked without some way to defend their homes. We're told to keep our weapon on us 24/7 during a deployment, and that it equates personal safety. So we need something to sleep at night at home. 2 - I think as wives we don't want guns in the house, because it feels like a boundary issue. We're okay with them going out in the woods and blowing up the world...just not OUR world. It messes with the sanitary nature of our spouse life. Kind of like how I'm okay with ants outside, just not inside my house. And some compromise and understanding on both sides with resolve it. Thu, 6 Dec 2012 14:45:50 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/my-husband-wants-a-gun-in-the-house.html#IDComment511990967 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/ydu-men-are-like-waffles.html#IDComment511986250 I thought Eldridge's book, Fathered by God, was such an excellent explanation to understanding men. I read it to better understand what my husband needed, and also the two small boys I am raising. And I love your perspective on what a relationship is, and how it often times involves lull or troughs that are worth pushing through. A great follow up blog would be how we as wives can help you connect with us. How can we draw you out, regardless of season or stage, to share with us where you're at? Thu, 6 Dec 2012 14:38:33 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/12/ydu-men-are-like-waffles.html#IDComment511986250 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/11/angry-milspouses.html#IDComment505815544 Anger is normal, and sometimes a very healthy reaction to a situation. But I think the key is to ask the pivotal question: What are you going to do about it? My husband doesn't want me to go with him to a military function. And he's got good reasons, as he'll be working the event and wants to focus on his job and not me. But I was mad as hell! Why don't I get to go to the ball?!? But he had a good reason, and I can't change that...so what am I going to do about it? I got someone to watch my kids for the night, and I'm going to have my own me time/girls' night time - something I can get excited about too. Angry people are often stewing in their own rotting pile of anger and outrage. Get them to move into the action phase - to find the areas that they can control and affect, and move forward through the anger into action. Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:53:26 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/11/angry-milspouses.html#IDComment505815544 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/11/every-light-in-the-house-is-on.html#IDComment505809434 I LOVE Christmas lights! Living up north, it gets dark at 4pm in the winter and those Christmas light help me get through the season, deployment or not. Keep 'em shining! Fri, 30 Nov 2012 17:45:47 +0000 http://spousebuzz.com/blog/2012/11/every-light-in-the-house-is-on.html#IDComment505809434 http://www.rethinkmonthly.com/2010/07/book-review-imaginary-jesus/#IDComment93377572 Thanks man! I learned it from watching you. Mon, 16 Aug 2010 01:13:20 +0000 http://www.rethinkmonthly.com/2010/07/book-review-imaginary-jesus/#IDComment93377572