Did Rob Thomas feel like Veronica can’t be happy?""

Yes, because it's noir and nobody can be happy. If you look up interviews, that's what he said.

I don't agree with it either. But it's noir.

No, that's pretty much how life goes. You realize that jerky guys are a dime a dozen, as opposed to "I need to do ANYTHING to keep this guy because that way I have a guy."

This is beautiful. I just wish you'd spoiled the things you didn't spoil because I'm never, ever going to see them (live on the wrong coast, would probably take 2 months of pay just to to get to NYC). Darn it!

Well, does the partner feel safe and okay with expressing preferences? Did they grow up with parents or have another SO who bitched them out every time they expressed one? God knows I grew up with a parent who asked for meal suggestions and shot them down, so I learned that "anything is fine." It wasn't worth it to say "I hate that restaurant that you love and I don't want to go there" if a screaming fight would ensue. I rarely express any meal preferences to this day, though I will at least do it once in a while more than I used to.

I'm thinking that maybe this girl is not the one for you, SF. Honestly, she doesn't sound super nice and it does sound like her attitude around you ("square," "who walks a girl home these days?") is kinda putting you down. It could be different in person in how she delivers it, but it does not sound like she is trying to put you at ease/make you more comfortable about not being the dom she wants right this second.

I have sympathy for you here because dating in one of the major kinky hippie towns when you aren't into BDSM can be ah, difficult. Especially if you are into monogamy and aren't just say, into having her get her freak on with someone else who likes that too instead of insisting that you be her kind of kink (worked for me). But when I was in this position, the fellow I was dating was actually nice to me about it, and it puts me off that she may not be doing that.

However, if she wants things out of you that you are just not okay at all trying, then you're better off breaking it off than trying to stomach it and hit her if it hurts your soul. And I think it's okay to not be super comfortable with the sexy abuse she wants--there can be issues in life if you hit someone even in kinky "fun" and then the relationship goes bad or something.

Overall, I just want to say don't do anything you're deep down not okay with just to get laid/keep a girl. If she's not the right fit for you or you aren't for her, don't push it.

Oh god, last week a guy I've talked to twice ever found out my full name and started e-mailing me at work constantly. Gaaaaaaaaaaaah. Went from 0-100 and a dude I thought just seemed like an innocent nice dude was scaring me with the overkill/pressure. He works with my friend and was pestering her for info, but after I told her what was going on she told him to back off.

Doctor, if you see this comment I'd love to see a corresponding piece to this talking about how a woman should handle a situation like this one.

I second that I also want warning on these kinds of things.

Or more like, find someone else like his mom or a friend to parasite off of.

I had this situation with an ex of mine, except we weren't living together (thank god). I wasn't okay with going that far until he could pay rent consistently, which he never pulled off. Because I was all, "I'm a shitty clerical worker and I canNOT support two people on my salary, period." Same thing though: he played video games all day and hated working and when he had a shitty job, it didn't last too long. Whether or not he was depressed, I don't know, but I think he wanted to be a stay at home spouse and I could not do that.

Another thing to note about this is that since women usually make less than men, it's more likely actually harder for the woman to be the lone working one and also be the one supporting two people...while doing all the chores herself.

I agree, but there ain't shit I can do about it and I don't think she'll ever leave him.