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6 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Why I Struggle With Th... · 1 reply · +1 points

to top it off, my dad died this year and they were super close. It is a painful time of year for so many.

6 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Why I Struggle With Th... · 2 replies · +1 points

Sorry. My oldest daughter is really struggling with Christmas this year. She doesn't want to see her parents this either. It is a reminder of all her loss.

6 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - And I Think To Myself.... · 0 replies · +1 points

I'm glad that it was a good day. Very wise leaving your phone in the car.

6 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Beauty, Pain, Wholenes... · 0 replies · +1 points

Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Some adoptive parents are listening. I had a great conversation with my new-ish boss the other day about this whole thing. He also has adoptive daughters (like me). He also acknowledges that we (as the adoptive parents) get the best end of the deal. No telling his daughters to feel lucky or privileged.

You are changing people. You are making a difference.

8 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Paternal Search: Maybe... · 1 reply · +2 points

I am sorry that it wasn't a match. I have been checking for an update each day in the hopes that you got good news. I have no words to encourage you except that you make a difference.

9 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - No Explanation Needed · 1 reply · +2 points

I'm glad that you are finding more peace. Explaining yourself can certainly be tiresome and sometimes stressful.

You can't teach someone who doesn't want to be taught.
Prov 18:2 (NIV) Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.

10 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - No, I Will Not Pretty-... · 1 reply · +4 points

I think this is all an extension of our societies efforts to not offend anyone, ever (except apparently adoptees). Adoption seems messy and painful to me. People should spend more time making it better and less time making it sound better.

11 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - What I Could Have Said... · 1 reply · +5 points

I am so glad that international adoption didn't work out for my family. I admit that that was a thought I had when we were looking internationally.

I wouldn't trade the relationship that we are starting to develop with mom 1 and dad 1 (as our oldest adopted daughter was calling them after their recent reunion). Adoptive parents need to realize that children feel more free to love them when they are not forced to choose. Someone else being called mom or dad does not have to hurt. It helps to get over it when you use the terminology yourself. We don't use first, original, or biological unless it is absolutely necessary for clarification.

11 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Top 10 Things for Adop... · 0 replies · +2 points

I like #6. It can be used in a lot of situations. #8 is the obvious one though. People don't think things through very well.

12 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Triad Gone Postal! · 0 replies · +1 points

It's easy to get bent out of shape when other people's view don't match our own. As an adoptive dad, it does hurt a little that I am not the only dad for my daughters. I won't lie. Not sure how people can deny the pain in it all.

My wife recently took a trip with our adoptive daughters and one of our sons. Our oldest daughter was asked about missing me. Her response, "I haven't seen my real dad in 4 years. I can go 10 days without seeing dad."

What can you say to that? It hurts just to write. No wonder she had attachment issues. I am her dad. So is he.

She doesn't know it yet, but plans are in the works to end that 4 year drought.

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