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277 comments posted · 2 followers · following 0

6 years ago @ The Toast - An Open Thread, and Se... · 1 reply · +65 points

The Toast: *exits, pursued by bear hugs*

6 years ago @ The Toast - The Final Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +68 points

So long, everybody! This feels like the last day of summer camp when we're all crying and hugging and promising to keep in touch. WE CAN DO IT, WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY. See you all on #ToastieTwitter!

6 years ago @ The Toast - How To Tell If You're ... · 0 replies · +77 points

"Three foggy mornings and one rainy day will rot the best birch fence a man can build, and you’ve just built a birch fence with your own two hands."

WHY DID THIS MAKE ME CRY.

GOD DAMMIT, ROBERT.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Inappropriate Ways to ... · 5 replies · +351 points

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

(I got to say this in actual real life to my actual dad the day before yesterday, and it was the crowning moment of my year.)

6 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 2 replies · +32 points

It doesn't really matter if you believe them or not. Once an abuse accusation has been made, since you're an adult in position of responsibility working with students, that's the perspective you have to come at this with. Not "who should I believe?" but "what are the responsibilities I have in this situation and how can I keep everyone safe?"

Is this a theater tech crew as part of a high school? Are these college-age kids, or minors? If it's teenagers in a school, you should escalate this to at minimum to a guidance counselor. What kind of abuse has been reported? If it's anything involving physical or sexual violence, if it's a minor, you are almost certainly legally required to report it, and your school should have a policy in place for how to escalate that. Your guidance counselors or HR staff should know what the policy is and can tell you what you need to do next.

It's not your job to determine what happened, but to get this information to the people who do have that job, so everyone can be safe. If the abuse reported is emotional abuse among adults, then it's not necessarily something you have a direct role in preventing and stepping back might be the path of least harm, but make sure you're doing what you can to minimize harm if the accusations are true.

It's normal to harbor doubts and to want to trust the student you already had faith and confidence in, and you might be completely correct about who to trust, but since you're in a position of responsibility, you have to make sure that if the accusations are true, you've protected everyone you're overseeing to the best of your ability.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Ayn Rand's If You ... · 0 replies · +23 points

"If the state chooses to bankrupt itself by returning tax-gotten gains to the citizens it stole from, what obligates the citizens to refuse them?" Ayn Rand's ghost remarked, before turning her attention back to re-writing children's stories and submitting them to The Toast.

6 years ago @ The Toast - I'm Not Cis, and I Don... · 0 replies · +17 points

I can't speak for the author, but my impression from this essay was that the whole point is that cis women and transgender women are BOTH real women. The author cares whether people think she's cis because if she's only getting respect and recognition as a "real woman" because people think she's cis, then that respect is conditional and temporary, and could be revoked if people realize they were wrong about her being cis. Being recognized and respected specifically for being a transgender woman is a lot more guaranteed and safe, as well as being authentic to her true self.

7 years ago @ The Toast - How to Love the Back o... · 2 replies · +65 points

I'm an English major programmer who agrees with a lot of what's already been said. I don't mean to pile on, just to explain what about the piece I found frustrating. It repeats and reinforces these ides: programming is math, not liberal arts; code language, not verbal language. Programming is for obsessives, not people who want work/life balance. Programming is for people who aren't good with people. In other words, programming is male.

But it's not, and it never has been. None of the above is true, and all of those stereotypes are used to exclude women from the field. Blaming a person's hobbies and not their ability to balance them with a relationship is harmless if the hobby is something like microbrewing, but the "emotionally unavailable obsessive male nerd programmer" stereotype is something I have to push against every day just to get my job done. It's depressing to see it repeated here.

7 years ago @ The Toast - If Gwyneth Paltrow Wer... · 0 replies · +179 points

I am CACKLING. (But not like Gwyneth Paltrow would cackle, if I were her girlfriend. She would have a musical laugh that would echo just a little longer than any laugh should.)

7 years ago @ The Toast - A Letter From Chris Ki... · 2 replies · +19 points

I just finished reading The Haunting of Hill House, so yes, I did jump a little at that last line, and yes, I am now worried that I'm being haunted by The Haunting of Hill House.