Really interesting take on fate. I love that fate evolves in the piece just as the two characters do, it starts out being a young and wonderful thing that brought these two people together and then evolves, twists into something bitter. A glue that causes pain.

ooo! Interesting, is she running to or from him? Is his smile loving or vile? Nice!

While I agree with Lance that the seduction of online is the immediate nature, the instant gratification factor, I have not once received the level of criticism online that I have in workshop groups. However, not every writer out there on the internet is necessarily looking to work on book quality work, or has the time, or fill in the blank. The key to making online critique more valuable, I think, is to find groups of people who are writing and looking for concrit at the same level. Someone last week, and I apologize for not remembering who, suggested that maybe this site could break down into smaller writing groups, which I thought was an interesting idea. I'll admit because I'm working on a longer story right now, I'm drawn to the other writers in TRDC like Mandy from Mandyland who are also doing so.

I think that there is very little doubt that live writing groups render better criticism for the very reason that you touched on in this post, which is isolated and focused time. Certainly when I workshopped my memoir with a real live group, not only did we have a block of time which was the workshop itself, to make that time most valuable, we had read each others work before entering the room.

I feel like many people who comment on posts are doing so from their smartphones while standing in line at the grocery store or while they are watching TV and aren't interested in, or able to invest the time that it takes to really read someone's work, it's more about building traffic or from a sense of obligation and that's where the online issue gets sticky. One of the many wonderful things about live groups is forced focus and I absolutely would like to join my voice with yours Carrie, in saying; Get out there, no matter what, it's going to be an amazing learning experience.

I think you calling this weak is being waaaaaaaay to hard on yourself! I thought it was so interesting that the perception of her beauty in some ways cost her everything. The husband that treated his friends leers as a compliment was perfect, as well as the women who surrounded her assuming, imagining, a life for her that was better than it was, almost imagining her as a princess in a fairy tale. I was sad to see that finally in the end her beauty caused her to turn against herself.

You had me at the first line. I was with you every step of the way. I love the fake sleeping and I'm kind of pissed that I never thought of it. What I loved most was that the feeling of the journey into the safe and loving arms of your father, that for all the wanting to be a big girl and stay up lateness involved in all this it was really to always end up in the same place.

Without a doubt Alice Sebold has influenced me the most as of late. I love her ability to create and delve into worlds of uncomfortable circumstances. Her writing style is as bold as her topics yet so clean and sharp. Her ability to describe place and emotions leaves lasting haunting impressions.

It's so true that when we are that young our perspective on events are can be equal parts fantasy and reality. I love the idea of her not knowing her dad was in jail but did wonder how she and her brother had never talked about it, especially since they are old enough to drink beer.

I also thought the distinction between 8 and 9 for being a big girl was spot on.

It's interesting, I wonder sometimes if smell isn't purely memory driven, if our minds don't have the power to make us smell what we expect to be there. On a personal note, I'm old enough to know what mothballs smell like and I too find them to be precisely the perfume of nostalgia.

I love how quiet this was, and the unspoken yearning was so nicely embedded. This piece was just woven with love, for your cousin, aunt, niece, children and husband.

My aunt patiently listened to all of my stories, she was exactly what I needed for her to be…curator of the love tied up into those clothes.

Was really a lovely line.

It's amazing how a person or a place can actually change the taste of food.