gdp's Comments

The Toast : Dear Businesslady: Advice for Endings and New Beginnings

Mon, 27 Jun 2016 19:32:46 +0000

Goddamnit, The Businesslady, I am not scheduled to cry yet today. But here we are.

The Toast : "I saw writing from people like me": Readers Toast The Toast

Mon, 27 Jun 2016 19:28:35 +0000

I've been too busy (and let's be honest: too much in denial) to craft an appropriate ode to The Toast since the announcement. But The Toast — and specifically Nicole Cliffe — helped me get that busy in the first place, and if I didn't take time to say thanks one more time in the site's last days, I'd regret it. So here we go. The Toast published my first paid writing. As much as it thrilled me to have my first piece accepted, its editorial reception was even better. Nicole's unstinting enthusiasm was a gift to a fledgling writer. I'm grateful for so much about this site, but her generosity of spirit, her willingness to be excited about my writing, gave me confidence… and encouraged me to earn that confidence, and that praise. I've backed away from commenting over the past year or so, in part because I suddenly found myself working (sometimes too hard, and that's a gift, too) as a freelance writer. But I'm going to miss this community, where voices that too often get shouted down and drowned out are lifted up, listened to, and celebrated. I love it here, and I mourn the passing of The Toast — but even more, I revel in its existence at all, and at being a small part of it.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Wed, 22 Jun 2016 00:07:27 +0000

awwww yeah I have a liter of black cherry in my fridge RIGHT NOW, here I go to git it

The Toast : Why Everyone Is Attracted To Baristas (It's Because Of Late-Stage Capitalism)

Tue, 24 May 2016 14:28:47 +0000

Me and my favorite-ever staff member from my favorite-ever video store, so yeeeeeah but with Shakespearean adaptations and horror movies. READER, I MARRIED HIM. The store closed last year, but I've still got the husband. Every Valentine's day, we snuggle down and watch a half-dozen horror movies.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Tue, 17 May 2016 14:09:46 +0000

I 100% ID myself to my mother by saying, "Hi, Mom, it's Emily," because I am the youngest of five and I have spent enough of my life listening to my parents start and falter over names until they hit the right one. My father more than once started a phone call with "Hello, Emily, this is your father, [first name, last name]."

The Toast : We Are Closing The Toast July 1st

Fri, 13 May 2016 15:03:22 +0000

[deep breath] I am determined to focus on gratitude first. Thank you for everything you've done, for showing us what a joyous, smart, silly, thoughtfully moderated feminist haven of a site can look like. Thank you for publishing me — my first paid writing! Without The Toast, I might still be a full-time freelancer, but I wouldn't have had the encouragement of those generous editorial compliments to cheer me on. I wouldn't trade those early emails for anything. Thank you for making it clear that this is a considered, ultimately welcome choice for you both, and that we shouldn't scramble around trying to think up a solution. I suspect we know that, but it's still kindest to rip the BandAid of hope off fast. Thank you for this community, which will live on after you stop publishing. I'm sure in this long list of comments, someone's put up the Twitter spreadsheet, and I'll go looking for it later today, but for now: I'm @emilyorelse, and I'd love to see all-a-y'all on Twitter. For now — for now — I'm not going to be sad to see the site go; I'm going to be grateful for what you gave us.

The Toast : How to Help Your Friend Who Recently Discovered The Americans

Thu, 5 May 2016 18:46:50 +0000

It's obvious to viewers (and to Philip) that loneliness was Martha's leverage point. It wasn't obvious to Stan until, and maybe even after, the time of that conversation, and that's part of what (I think) he's saying: they're all presumed to be more or less open books — if not to each other, at least to the agency that vetted them all for their higher clearance ratings — but each of them is a secret after all, an unknown quantity, a mystery. I don't have a particular interest in defending Stan as a person; I'm just saying there's more nuance to this remark than pearl-clutching over a broken law.

The Toast : How to Help Your Friend Who Recently Discovered The Americans

Thu, 5 May 2016 15:45:07 +0000

I think Stan's salient point there is not that OH NO LAWBREAKER but that, like anything illegal, Martha's then-illegal abortion offers possible leverage for pressure or blackmail — something that in bureau employees and others in security-clearance positions can offer a point of vulnerability.

The Toast : On Race, Good Intentions, and the Benefit of the Doubt

Tue, 8 Mar 2016 17:58:17 +0000

Wouldn’t it be better if you just assumed that most people have genuinely good intentions? Wouldn’t it be better WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER That depends what better is, and that question presupposes that it's BETTER A. for a person who says racist things not to have to confront their own unexamined racism; B. for POC to carry the extra burden not just of dealing with racism, but of tutoring unwilling audiences about it. Sooooooo that's better for racism and racists, intentional or otherwise, yeah, but not for, y'know, anyone or anything else.

The Toast : Tough Choices

Thu, 3 Mar 2016 20:16:01 +0000

(It happened to me once, is what I keep thinking.) What I find myself thinking is usually "It happened to me, and no one believed me, either." Or no one thought it was worth believing, which is different: No one wanted to HAVE to believe, because it would get ugly — as if that cold cost-benefit analysis of social behavior and the value of believing a woman's word weren't already ugly.

The Toast : Tough Choices

Thu, 3 Mar 2016 20:04:58 +0000

me, to a fellow writer and aspiring comedian busily cracking transmisogynistic jokes: Look, not only is it bigotry, it's not even funny. It's a cheap, lazy shot. You're better than that. him: [doubles down on his joke] me: … my mistake. You're not better than that.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Wed, 24 Feb 2016 17:44:19 +0000

Happy birthday!

The Toast : Every Noir Story Set In Los Angeles Ever

Fri, 19 Feb 2016 15:15:43 +0000

I got to "We’re Always Driving But Are Any Of Us Even Getting Anywhere" and suddenly was stricken by the possibility that I have to reinterpret Less Than Zero through a noir lens, a.k.a., think about Less Than Zero for the first time since the 1980s.

The Toast : Plausible Lines For Absolutely Any Episode Of Columbo

Wed, 17 Feb 2016 18:56:26 +0000

One of my favorite things Falk routinely says in Columbo is "Terrific, just terrific!" The food is terrific, the house is terrific, his wife is terrific. It's such a newly-'70s expression of appreciation, and I love him for embracing it. I want a supercut of all his terrifics.

The Toast : Toast Points for the Week of February 12th

Fri, 12 Feb 2016 21:03:56 +0000

UGH, I'm sorry. How repulsive and infuriating. I recently learned that when my mother reads my work, she also reads all the comments, and NO NO, MOM, STOP MOMMY, DON'T LOOK At the same time, I'm positive I get gentler treatment than many of my colleagues just by virtue of my author photo showing a white woman, which is so many kinds of horrible.

The Toast : Cocktail Hour: Open Thread

Fri, 12 Feb 2016 19:07:20 +0000

Happy Valentine's Day! It sounds perfect. The Fella & I will be enjoying our traditional Valentine's Day of a horror-movie marathon and homemade pizza; because it's a busy work weekend, we'll also follow our tradition of celebrating a day late, on the 15th.

The Toast : Every Perfect Sentence I Have Found In The Lady

Tue, 2 Feb 2016 22:05:57 +0000

From friends, nicknamification can be a charming indication of intimacy or, from acquaintances, a sign that they hope to grow closer. A stranger who nicknamifies is A BOUNDER.

The Toast : Ayn Rand's Firefly

Mon, 1 Feb 2016 16:52:30 +0000

… my god, the deleted comments on this should be pure gold, by which I mean a garbage fire.

The Toast : Cocktail Hour: Open Thread

Fri, 29 Jan 2016 17:44:24 +0000

My husband once described The Philadelphia Story as an anti-feminist spanking machine that Katherine Hepburn gets pushed through, and yeeeeeeah. The part where her father blames Tracy for his philandering, because he wouldn't have been driven to seek approval from a younger woman if she'd only been a wider-eyed, more abjectly admiring daughter, is particularly revolting, but the whole thing is a goddamned mess, and also I love it, and also I hate it.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Fri, 29 Jan 2016 16:23:30 +0000

(STILL ALIVE.) … you mean the cats, right? Because I WOULD BURY THAT GUY.