YESSS! Sarraaaaa, I can't wait for us to talk about Hamilton, it has consumed me. I'm so excited that you listened to it!

MY LIFE. Also the ever popular; "Well, I'm a student of life."

To which the only appropriate answer is, "and does that come with a student ID?"

I live in Malvern,
can you give me directions
from my home address?

Museum life is real.

Sara, Maia is one of us! Maia, Sara is a former one of us! Ahh, we have all worked at the same museum! Toasties unite!

These are so beautiful and 100% accurate; I particularly love, "We close at five. If / I arrive at five, when would / I need to leave? Five." Bless.

This is so beautiful.

These are not the typos you're looking for. *hopes no one notices as I can no longer edit this comment*

OH GOD this is so accurate that it is painful. I work at a museum, and one day I was answering the main phone line and a woman called and said, "There are geese in the park."

"...I'm not sure-" I started to say, because a) it's a park, in the fall there are always geese in the park and b) this is a museum, why am I the person you are calling? Why aren't you calling the park?

"Shouldn't someone call animal control about that?" She said.

Don't get me wrong, I am all about educating the public regarding the dangers of large waterfowl, because have you seen there teeth? But no ma'am, I can not get rid of the geese in the park.
I also enjoy the endless calls we get from people who are lost trying to find the museum. "I don't know where I am, but I just passed Main street. How do I get to your museum?" I just want to say, you understand I don't have GPS tracker on your car? I can not tell where you are any better than you can. One might even say I will be less likely to know where you are, than you yourself! What main street did you pass? Are you even in the right state? How did you get this phone number if you can't find our building?! Calling from the road is literally the least effective way to get directions. "No sir, I can not stay on the line with you until you get here."

When people ask a long series of really, really dumb questions or do things like try to get us to book hotel rooms for them (WE ARE NOT A HOTEL) I am also a big fan of "Let me google that for you", because half of the time the person will figure out what I am hinting at. The other half of the time it is no use, and you spend ten minutes trying to explain that there are travel sites and travel agents and "no I can not call the hotel for you sir." LORD.

OH MAN, this was me from about age 6 to age 18? Like I distinctly remember an incident in grade school, where two girls in my class (very sincerely) explained they didn't like hanging out with me because I "said sorry too much". (I did not say sorry when they told me, but sort of tried unsuccessfully to crumple in on myself.)

I have since unlearned this habit, as for me it was just a way of apologizing for exiting, and I no longer apologize for the space I take up in the world.

My moms are lesbians (the softball playing kind), and a few years ago we went to a concert. There were two young women (my age) both with long hair wearing cute dresses and red lipstick. One of my moms noticed they were holding hands, leaned over to me, and in a profound whisper announced, "They are what we call, lipstick lesbians."

(I don't remember if I giggled at her. I probably did. My moms are freaking adorable.)

Seriously, I have never been so hopeful that a tag will reappear in the future! (Watching her react is amaaazing!)