gdp's Comments

The Toast : Things I Have Yelled At My Television, Which Cannot Hear Me, While Watching "Miss Fisher's Mysteries

Fri, 9 Oct 2015 04:22:34 +0000

No idea why people confess! I literally cannot watch the end of Bones episodes — people are in the all-black FBI room, about to face the horrificness of the American court system, and when they are confronted with evidence they always break down and say 'but it was an accident!' I just watched a documentary series on US Netflix (originally from BBC2) about sex crimes in the UK called 'The Detectives' and these people did awful heinous things and it's very clear from the evidence that they did do them, but in all the taped interviews when it gets to confession time they just say 'no comment'. I don't think most criminals are stupid enough to confess!

The Toast : Things I Have Yelled At My Television, Which Cannot Hear Me, While Watching "Miss Fisher's Mysteries

Tue, 6 Oct 2015 01:45:46 +0000

I have not read too many of the books, but in at least one case I was impressed by how the murder side of it was so clear and logical. And then I watched the episode and the murder plot was completely insane! On TV the murders are completely mysterious riddles, but in the books the murders are actually well constructed. I love the TV show because of the excitement and glamour, but when I realized how badly the murder logic was being botched, I felt a bit miffed.

The Toast : Link Roundup and Merch Preview!

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:39:37 +0000

There's nothing holding you back!

The Toast : Link Roundup and Merch Preview!

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:39:14 +0000

Then there are the paleo people. But wasn't our diet so much better, really, when every time the hunt or the harvest failed the weak starved to death?

The Toast : Link Roundup and Merch Preview!

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:19:03 +0000

For reconstruction done well, have you seen the BBC series that include 'Victorian Farm' and 'Edwardian Farm'? I *love* both those programmes, and the follow-ups 'Secrets of the Castle' 'Tudor Farm' and 'Wartime Farm' were interesting if not as good. In one of them, they decides they needed to change the acidity of their fields, so they decided to make tons of quicklime using old-fashioned techniques. Which was AWESOME. In another episode, they wanted to rebuild the kiln at a blacksmith's forge, so they made 1000s of bricks using two different Victorian techniques. No half measures here! Although I have heard on the internet that the programme makers were not the best at hiring the craftsmen they needed. And sometimes their banter is a little thin.

The Toast : Link Roundup and Merch Preview!

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:09:02 +0000

To be fair to her, writing books about domestic subjects is *the most Victorian* way for a middle-class woman to make her living. Unless she wanted to be a governess.

The Toast : Link Roundup and Merch Preview!

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 14:06:18 +0000

Yes!!! You've solved their problem, they definitely should have been born today. I'm trying to imagine what would have happened to a couple in the 1880s/90s who said "We really feel we should have lived in the 1760s/70s, so we're going to wear big wigs and panniered skirts and embroidered waistcoats and get rid of this new-fangled telegram and gas lighting and mains drainage".

The Toast : Link Roundup and Merch Preview!

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 13:42:45 +0000

By the 1880s/90s cholera was solved and sewage was basically modern, so that wouldn't be an issue. Which begs the question, how do you decide which decade to go to??? The 1880s/90s feel quite modern, they've got all kinds of technology that we'd recognise (telephones, typewriters, etc) but not got a lot of others (such as many labour saving devices in the home). I would be tempted to go big, to go back to the seventeenth century, and live without plumbing, use tallow candles, and wash my clothes in ash and piss rather than 1880s/90s soap. Or to wimp out and go to the 1930s — no internet, no antibiotics, but mostly similar to today (apart from all the fascism).

The Toast : Link Roundup and Merch Preview!

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 13:34:55 +0000

"Yes, I believe those with horses and armour are better than those without. Everyone else can't move 10 miles away from where they were born. That is my politics." (my knowledge of the feudal system is a little sketchy)

The Toast : Link Roundup and Merch Preview!

Thu, 10 Sep 2015 13:30:26 +0000

I know, I had so many conflicting feelings about it. Yes, it's fantastic to study the past through the objects they used, and especially by actually using those objects. Although reconstructing these as 'more authentic' objects is ridiculous when most things made in the American 1880s/90s were mass-produced and helped destroy hand-crafting. The Arts and Crafts movement was against the flow, not with it. And describing living like this without exploring all the gender and racial and class divisions that shaped the society...? The whole description is very much about the things they have, which are awesome, and super interesting, and I feel jealous, but history isn't just about objects.

The Toast : Cocktail Hour: Open Thread

Sat, 5 Sep 2015 13:02:03 +0000

I love Mary Balogh so much — the one that was a high-point for me was The Gilded Web. It takes the fact that women have no power in a Regency marriage seriously. Alexandra is unhappy and controlled by her father, but she has to get to the point of choosing marriage rather than having it thrust upon her, b/c this is a big decision. If she choses wrongly she'll be in a worse position than before. The hero's journey from 'this is a no-brainer, just marry me already' to respecting her decisions is also a crucial one for him too. I love a good accidental marriage plot, but Balogh actually thinks through how marriage changes everything for women (in this time period) and how big the risks are. ETA I just read some reviews on Amazon and a good chunk of people hated this book. One thing I liked about the book and others hated is that Alexandra isn't likeable: she's traumatised, she doesn't know that she should just follow the romance-story-script and marry the hero already, she has a hard time understanding other people's emotions b/c she doesn't express her own. Her change is slow and unsteady.

The Toast : Cocktail Hour: Open Thread

Sat, 5 Sep 2015 11:15:25 +0000

For me it's not just a tiny bit — I measure with my middle finger. At ovulation I can't feel my cervix within my finger's length; pre-menstrually I can feel it when my finger is in to my second knuckle, and at its lowest I can only fit the first knuckle of my finger in. But as soon as I get into sexytimes, then my cervix backs up like whoa and is again unreachable — vaginal tenting is a strange but interesting process. Best description of what you're looking for I've heard: your cervix feels like your nose. At least around your period, it gets pretty hard and feels like the tip of a nose.

The Toast : I Take It Back; Peak Dad Was Not Achieved Last Week But On May 8, 2014

Thu, 3 Sep 2015 22:08:07 +0000

(This was a reply to the Teletext nostalgia) My Mum used to find out the sports results on Teletext through my childhood and into the 2000s. My Dad is not into sports at all — one of his peak Dads is when the newspeople say "if you don't want to know the football scores, look away now!" and he ostentatiously looks away.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Thu, 3 Sep 2015 14:13:38 +0000

That was amazing, thank you. Now my routine cervix-checking will maybe incorporate a rummage around for hairballs & other mystery objects — or I could invest in a speculum and rig up a mirror situation? What I like about this story is that it was entirely non-fatal but totally horrific so you have the recoil but the happy ending.

The Toast : Let's Talk About The Books That Didn't Change Our Lives

Tue, 18 Aug 2015 09:37:39 +0000

(reply to crabbysister5) A weird brag but I read Wuthering Heights at age 8, and was just so confused about the motivations of the characters. Heathcliff is obviously odd, so why doesn't Cathy just transfer her love to her husband? Simple fix! When I read it later in my life I realized I'd missed out the sexual attraction aspect of things. I also read Oliver at the same point, and not knowing anything of antisemitism I assumed that 'the Jew' and Fagin were 2 separate characters. I went to see the show and everything, and thought 'interesting that they cut the Jew character. I suppose the 2 evil old men is a bit overkill.' Which shows that reader reception is totally interesting, because readers can just wilfully misunderstand your book.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Fri, 14 Aug 2015 13:08:59 +0000

Yay! Hooray! I really hope you like them. Those all sound lovely, and a nice thing about insert ones is that they dry quickly, so you can reuse them within the same cycle more easily. I would *love* to hear how it goes, and what you find you do and don't like. If I'm not in meetings during the open thread today, I will try to start a menstrual thread. From BC I think I only have Mama Kloth pads (on Etsy) — I don't really like her fleece-backed pads, and while I love her wool-backed pads they are more of an effort (can't be put in peroxide). One final piece of advice is to wear them with underwear that is full-coverage but tight. Something that sags around the bottom won't hold the pad in place as well. :)

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Wed, 12 Aug 2015 12:40:34 +0000

I'm so glad it was interesting to you!

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Wed, 12 Aug 2015 12:39:41 +0000

Aww, thanks! When you ask someone to talk about their specialist subject, they *will talk*. Especially when it's something you're generally not allowed to talk about.

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Tue, 11 Aug 2015 11:06:04 +0000

I only have 8 PUL/ProCare pads, and I wouldn’t recommend it particularly. Unless you have flow that gushes into one spot really really fast, I don’t really see the need. At my heaviest, I’m a 1-super-tampon-in-2-hours person, and I’ve never leaked through a pad. If you’re a 1-super-tampon-in-twenty-minutes person, and you don’t get to go to the toilet when you like, then maybe PUL is for you. Then instead of Windpro-backed buy some PUL-backed or hidden-PUL pads. I don’t know who sells the best PUL pads, sorry. There are a lot of people doing amazing work on Facebook selling and that’s slightly cheaper that Etsy — but that’s more for when you know what you like IMO. Then you can custom order any size, shape, or fabric that you like, which is awesome. And if you want to spend the minimum amount of money, there are closed groups on Facebook for buying/selling/trading (search cloth pads b/s/t) where you can get ‘destashed’ (second-hand) pads. Wash them really good. I would personally never use a destashed pad (unless it had never been used) but that’s just the line I draw. Once a pad has been fully washed I can’t imagine any real problem with it. Just be really careful about using chlorine bleach if you go this route — peroxide bleach (Oxyclean) is good, chlorine bleach will wreck pads if not properly diluted. Laundry issues: find a waterproof makeup bag or similar you already own (or buy a purpose-built wet bag or wet/dry bag from Etsy, I’d suggest OwlAboutCloth) to carry cloth pads during the day. (Weird tip: nylon sex-toy bags are not actually waterproof, only water-resistant. That’s something I learnt accidentally !) You can keep them dirty but dry until the end of your period, or you can rinse them out straight away. My method is to then mix Oxyclean (or Vanish, or offbrand) with a bucket or sinkful of water (or you can use your bath) and let it sit for 12-24 hours. Don’t put a lid on it, but also don’t let cats or children fall into the water. Then rinse, and if there are still stains try a stain treater like Fels-Naptha. Then put in the washing machine on an ordinary wash (possibly in one of those mesh bags). I line dry then tumble dry on a low heat in a mesh bag, but I am cautious about the plastic snaps and the heat of the tumble dryer. I also have a paranoia about mildew getting into my pads, so I make sure they are really dry before I put them away. There are other laundry methods too — about a thousand youtube videos for different people. I’m not squeamish so I rinse mine out and wring all the blood away NBD. Washing sounded like a hassle to me before I started, but I have absolutely no issues with it now. Also, if you’re someone who wears disposable pads for as long as you can, you’ll need to change that mindset. As you can wash and tumble dry, take that pad off after a few hours even if it’s not stained, and wear something new. Maybe that’s just me, but back in my disposable pad days I used to ‘stretch out’ my pad especially at the end of my period, because I didn’t want to chuck away a perfectly white pad when they are expensive. It’s one of the major advantages of cloth to me — I don’t feel that need to get a pad good and bloody before I take it off. If you want other people’s advice, consider joining a closed group on Facebook like Kristy’s List — there’s a mix of old hands and newbies and overall enthusiasts, and they have lots of info documents. Only thing is that some of these groups don’t like people with profiles set to ‘private’ so you’ll need to approach an admin to let you in (if they let in people with no info on their profiles, they get trolled). There are lots of Youtube channels too: I like Pad Thai and Precious Stars particularly. You don’t need to go all-in — maybe just buy a couple of pantiliners or light pads for the end of your cycle, see how those work, and then think about adding more pads. I think Party in my Pants will send you a free ‘cloth curious’ liner in the US (I wouldn’t recommend them particularly though, they have nylon backers which are not common and plenty of people don’t like). Find a waterproof makeup bag in your home, buy some oxyclean (or off-brand), and that’s it. There is a lot of choice and paraphernalia but that’s for enthusiasts like me rather than your first purchases. That's a sermon and a half ;)

The Toast : Link Roundup!

Tue, 11 Aug 2015 11:05:22 +0000

Hooray! No I don’t make them myself (can’t sew). If you can sew, I believe you can try making them from ‘things around your house’. Amy Nix’s youtube video is good on this. If like me you want to buy, my advice for a newbie would be to go slow — you don’t need to have enough to last a whole cycle to begin with. Do not buy 10 from one place because it’s a good deal. Buy 2 from one person, 2 from another, test them out, see what you like. Think about length. My first pads I bought because they said ‘heavy’ on them — they are great and would work for another person but they are 8 inches long. I am not small and I bleed in a line up and down a pad rather than centrally. For me, 7/8-inches is a mid-cycle pantiliner, 10-inch light is a ‘waiting for my period to start and finish’ pantiliner, 10-inch heavies/regulars are for regular flow, 11-13inches are for heavy flow, and my overnight pads are like 18inches with massive flares. I am quite ‘clotty’ overnight so I need huge pads to catch that, plus I need very absorbent topper fabrics. But now I sleep without a towel under me! This is all deeply personal, so think about how you use pads now. I realized after I stopped using disposables that I had to use ‘regular’ disposable pads rather than disposable pantiliners at the end of my period; because the pantiliners *were too short*. I had just got used to using the pads I used when I used them, rather than thinking about why. Don’t be like me and buy Gladrags at first, because they are way less good than other cloth pads. They’re fine, will keep blood off your underwear, but they aren’t good. If you are in the US I would tell you to go first to Annybell’s Essentials and Yurtcraft on Etsy first — buy a couple from each. They stock every weekday usually, ship very fast, and are very good quality. You can wait until a day that has your favourite prints, but they do go quite fast! Then I might suggest Novel Red, because I love her. If you’re somewhere else, I can think of other good places in your country probably — I’m dyingofthatroar [at] gmail.com. From Canada I’ve liked Cotton Candy Eco Cloth. Another Canadian, Homestead Emporium, is more expensive but I love their pads too much. Lots of non-US sellers won’t ship to the US any more because the FDA has been cracking down on cloth pad sellers (technically they’re ‘medical devices’ and sellers have to pay a $3000 fee to sell any cloth pads which is absurd and makes my blood boil). Generally it’s best to buy in your own country to start with to avoid big shipping fees. Fabrics! For me, the basic topping fabric to start with is cotton. Lots of fun prints, very commonly available, works well. Other people might tell you cotton flannel — I hate the way it pills so I avoid it. Jerseys can be good but are a bit more varied and complex, so I would not buy them until you have a few pads. If you’re buying heavy-day pads, you might look to fast-absorbency fabrics. I have ‘clotty’ flow at my heaviest, and cotton doesn’t absorb blood straightaway, so I prefer to buy heavy & overnight pads topped in minky (synthetic, can feel ‘warm’), cotton velour (not synthetic), bamboo velour (‘OBV’; not synthetic, my favourite, softer than cotton velour but needs more care), ProCool (synthetic, also called ‘wicking jersey’, quite hard to find), suedecloth (synthetic, hard to find) and other weird and wonderful toppers. I would say to start cotton and build up. (This Australian shop has good info; http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~obsidian/clothpads/D... ) The clotty problem for me only really occurs when I’m lying down: if I’m sitting up but bleeding clots a cotton-topped pad for me is fine. Core fabrics don’t really matter that much, although I have a personal dislike of zorb. It’s a very absorbent fabric made for cloth diapering, and plenty of people love it, but I don’t. That’s a personal prejudice, but it just means there’ll be a load of other great pad shops out that I haven’t tried, because they do zorb. No one person can tell you what to buy for cloth pads, because we all have our own prejudices. Backing fabrics do matter: the basic backer is fleece. When you start out I would recommend buying Windpro fleece backed pads for regular/heavy flow — light flow is okay with any kind of fleece, and even flannel or cotton backing. My favourite mid-cycle pantiliners (from Rainbows Grace on Etsy) are flannel-backed, which is very breathable and thin. Poly-urethane Laminate (PUL) divides people. It’s a waterproof fabric that you cannot leak through, and I think a lot of cloth newbies like the security that provides. It can be the back of the pad (although that may lead to the pad sliding in your underwear) or ‘hidden’ with another more grippy fabric behind it. There’s a similar fabric to PUL in Canada that’s called ProCare — I have some overnight pads from NaturallyHip (on Etsy) with ProCare backs but I haven’t tried them yet.