Lori, I guess I wasn't clear. Sorry about that.

What I was trying to say is that teaching your children how to spot virtuous and wicked women is a good start. But more is required- parents should actually seek out, or learn of, good women and introduce them to their sons. If nothing happens, no harm done. But if they do respond positively to one another, then all the better. It isn't simply that young men need help distinguishing a good woman from a harlot. A proper model in their mother is good, but the best would be for that virtuous mother to locate noble daughters for her sons to consider for marriage. In the present age, virtuous men might not be able to locate a godly woman on their own. Hence parents and other family helping out.

If I might make a suggestion Lori, I would advise parents to not simply warn their sons about Harlots. That is of course good and necessary, as many an otherwise God-fearing man has been led off the narrow path by a temptress. But I would also encourage parents to actively help their sons find virtuous and worthy women for them to marry. Warning them about bad women does not help them find a good woman. There are so precious few of those these days that young men need all the help they can get.

Sadly, marriage is seen as an individual affair these days, when it should involve the whole family. One of the ways that Christians can turn the church around is by rejecting that approach and instead help their children find good spouses.

"A friend just informed me that many young men are having trouble holding an erection when they are with a woman due to the amount and types of pornography they view."

Your friend is correct. There have been a number of studies which have backed this up. Porn can rewire the brain, and this can severely impact a man's sexuality. However, this effect isn't merely limited to men. Women can also be affected by their "version" of porn, which is commonly found in the romance genre. Since men are far more visual than women, graphic porn affects them more than women (although the number of women who watch porn has been on the rise lately). Women, on the other hand, are for more "emotive" than men- their feelings are tied to their sex drive far than is the case for men. This means that women can impair their sex lives through "emotional porn", like is found in the romance genre. This can be equally destructive to a healthy marital relationship, although it manifests in different ways.

Something else that is important to point out is that the delay in marriage these days plays a significant role in the impact of porn on men. Men without a healthy outlet for their sex drive are more likely to seek out porn. Not all do, but many well. If they cannot marry until their late twenties (as is often the case these days), or even later, they are more likely to fall back on porn. Encouraging younger marriage is an important part of fixing that problem. And that is a message that needs to be directed towards Christian women and their parents, as they are the ones driving the delay.

Joy, I think it is absolutely fair to ask that question. Just as it is fair for any man to ask reciprocal questions. Sexual history (which also includes pornography) definitely has a strong impact on marriage.

The sad thing Lori is that fathers, even ones who want to do well by their daughters, are quite limited in what they can do. The definition of abuse has become so expanded that they have few measures available to them.

A good question at the end Maria. Here are a couple of thoughts of mine:

1) Many men have an unrealistic and non-Christian view on what women are really like. Many have bought into this narrative that women are pure and sinless when it comes to sexual matters. If a woman goes astray in some way sexually, it is because a man led her to do it. They are either ignorant or in denial that women are just as prone to sexual sins as men are.

2) Many fathers, even and perhaps especially Christian fathers, don't want to be seen as oppressive to women. They have had the evils of sexism and patriarchy beat into their heads for decades. As a result, they don't want to do anything that makes it seem like they are being "controlling" or "oppressive" to their daughters.

3) Many, many Christian fathers treat their daughters as though they were sons. They don't raise them any differently than their sons (assuming they have any, which can be doubtful given most family sizes these days). Telling their daughters to act or dress differently is not something they are accustomed to or would think to do.

4) Many fathers, again even and especially Christian fathers, fear their wives (rather than the other way around, as Scripture possibly indicates). They don't want to critique how their daughters act and dress because their wives did, and often do, the exact same things. Fathers worry that they will anger their wife, which can cause them a whole host of problems, ranging from the continuous drip of contention to the dreaded sexual denial all the way to the extreme of divorce.

I could go on, but that is a good start for the moment.

While I agree with the overall thrust of this post, I disagree that modesty isn't a stumbling block issue. Making it easier for men to stay on the narrow path is not the only reason for modesty, but it is a valid reason nonetheless. Paul advised us that we shouldn't bring offense to others, or lead them astray with our actions. He specifically mentioned food, but dress is another equally applicable area of concern.

Actually, a Covenant is a form of contract. A special form, naturally, one which binds both parties irrespective of whether or not the the other party lives up to its obligations. But a contract nonetheless. And Christians do have terms regarding the bedroom when it comes to the Marriage Covenant. See 1 Cor 7 for details.

I say this not to defend this book (far from it), but to make the point that duties and obligations arising out of relationships aren't necessarily a bad thing. We just make sure that they are aligned with God's will.

Lori, I am curious which generation you think is lost. Because I don't believe it is just Millennials who are lost. Elspeth is right, many Gen X and Boomer women like this book too. The truth is that the past four to five generations were lost, and long ago. We are only just now realizing it. Or rather, we are only now acknowledging it- the evidence was there for a long time, most just pretended it wasn't.

Honestly, given what has been peddled in Christian circles for the past few generations, why are we surprised when books like this are popular among "Christians?" Most Christians chose to love the world, not God, long ago.

I sympathize with you greatly Krista. The authority of parents has been so undermined in recent decades that I cannot imagine how frustrated you must feel. Truly, that effort to weaken a parent's ability to protect their children is the work of the Evil One.