gdp's Comments

Listverse : 10 Books that Screwed Up the World

Sun, 19 Dec 2010 20:35:56 +0000

That's history, not doctrine! If you're reading a history book and you come to the period when the transplanted Americans were conquering the country, you gonna start killing Native Americans?

Listverse : 10 Books that Screwed Up the World

Sat, 18 Dec 2010 05:09:33 +0000

I'd appreciate it if you could provide me with some examples from both the Old and New Testaments.

Listverse : Top 15 April Fool’s Day Hoaxes

Sat, 14 Aug 2010 15:22:36 +0000

I believe an honorable mention should go to dihydrogen monoxide. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/04/1...

Listverse : Listverse Top 50 Jokes

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 04:29:13 +0000

A young single guy is on a cruise ship, having the time of his life. On the second day of the cruise, the ship slams into an iceberg and begins to sink. Passengers around him are screaming, flailing, and drowning but he manages to grab on to a piece of driftwood and, using every last ounce of strength, swims a few miles through the shark-infested sea to a remote island. Sprawled on the shore nearly passed out from exhaustion, he turns his head and sees a woman lying near him, unconscious, barely breathing. She's also managed to wash up on shore from the sinking ship. He makes his way to her, and with some mouth-to-mouth assistance he manages to get her breathing again. She looks up at him, wide-eyed and grateful, and says, "My God, you saved my life!" He suddenly realizes the woman is Cindy Crawford! Days and weeks go by. Cindy and the man are living on the island together. They've set up a hut, there's fruit on the trees, and they're in heaven. Cindy's fallen madly in love with him, and they're making passionate love morning, noon and night. One day she notices he's looking kind of glum. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" she asks. "We have a wonderful life together. I'm in love with you. Is there something wrong? Is there anything I can do?" He says, "Actually, Cindy, there is. Would you mind putting on my shirt?" "Sure," she says, "If it will help." He takes off his shirt and she puts it on. "Now would you put on my pants?" he asks. "Sure, honey, if it's really going to make you feel better," she says. "Okay, would you put on my hat now, and draw a little mustache on your face?" he asks. "Whatever you want, sweetie," she says, and does. Then he says, "Now, would you start walking around the edge of the island?" She starts walking around the perimeter of the island. He sets off in the other direction. They meet up half way around the island a few minutes later. He rushes up to her, grabs her by the shoulders, and says, "Dude! You'll never believe who I'm sleeping with!"

Listverse : Listverse Top 50 Jokes

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 04:19:36 +0000

A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that, he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the clerk the same question. The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29". "I am actually 47." Later, while standing at a bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when I was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your balls for 10 minutes, I will be able to tell you your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thinks, What the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants. Ten minutes later, the old lady says, "Okay, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant. How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."

Listverse : Listverse Top 50 Jokes

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 04:15:17 +0000

A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable fidelity practices when suddenly, the woman reaches over and slices off the mans penis and angrily tosses it out the window of the car. Driving behind the car is a pickup truck with a man and his 10 year old daughter chatting away beside him. All of the sudden, the penis smacks the pickup in the windshield and flies off. Surprised, the daughter asks her daddy, "Daddy what in the heck was that ?!?" Not wanting to expose his 10 year old daughter to sex at such a tender age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey." The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and after a minute, she says. "Sure had a big dick."

Listverse : Listverse Top 50 Jokes

Fri, 13 Aug 2010 01:51:24 +0000

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."

Listverse : 10 Cases of Natural Gender Inequality

Mon, 2 Aug 2010 22:59:10 +0000

That's 100.01% lol

Listverse : 10 Books that Screwed Up the World

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 16:39:35 +0000

Meh and Linus: What you don't seem to understand is that you're reading history, not doctrine. The Romans used to kill Christians. When you learned that in history class, did you take that to mean you should kill Christians or did you take it for what it is: History? History is full of atrocities against humanity but that doesn't mean we're supposed to do those things now. The books listed here are described as "treatise", "outline", "manifesto", "manual", "advice" and "propaganda". See a trend? The Old Testament, as a whole, can not be described using any of those words. The laws that are mentioned, and are observed by Jews and/or Christians today, do not condone violence or greed or hatred In the New Testament, Jeshua (Jesus) teaches love, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness, understanding, sensitivity, devotion, harmony...need I go on? What the Bible teaches and what some individuals get from it can, and has been, on opposite ends of the spectrum in some cases. I'll sum this up by saying that the Bible isn't what screwed up the world, it's the individuals throughout history who misinterpreted what they read and taught it to others that did it. Most of the books on this list were intended to incite hated, violence etc., the Bible was not.

Listverse : Top 10 Classic Fantasy Movies of the 1980s

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:51:02 +0000

Oops, I almost forgot Krull

Listverse : Top 10 Classic Fantasy Movies of the 1980s

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:28:42 +0000

I know that most of these have already been mentioned but if I were putting this list together, the following would definitely be on it. In no particular order: The Dark Crystal The Neverending Story Willow Clash of the Titans Legend The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

Listverse : 10 Books that Screwed Up the World

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 02:28:07 +0000

To those of you who say that the Bible should be on the list: The Old Testament is simply a collection of books that teach about the history and laws of the Jews...with some poetry thrown in (Psalms) etc. and the New Testament teaches love (feed the hungry, do unto others..., love your neighbor). Anyone who believes the above mentioned things are bad is as screwed up as some of those that have been influenced by the books in this list.

Listverse : 10 Notable Stops on the Historic Route 66

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 14:33:26 +0000

Too bad the Blue Hole of Santa Rosa, NM didn't make the list. It's definitely a must see for anyone traveling Route 66. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A77...

Listverse : 99 Excuses for Skipping out of Work

Sun, 18 Jul 2010 15:37:33 +0000

The one excuse that has always worked for me is "I have diarrhea". What boss would expect you to come to work under those circumstances?

Listverse : Top 10 Declassified Secrets

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:38:35 +0000

I don't believe Tamala meant to insinuate that Gandhi died of starvation...just that Churchill would have been fine with it if he had died during the hunger strike.

Listverse : Top 15 Most Disturbing Movies

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 03:46:38 +0000

When I saw this listed, I clicked on the link just to see where Pink Flamingos rated. I was darned surprised to see it wasn't listed at all. Was there anything about that movie that WASN'T disturbing?

Listverse : 10 Curious Questions and Answers

Tue, 6 Jul 2010 15:25:11 +0000

As a long time smoker who has tried practically every method of quitting, I have actually pondered the question of being in a coma. I certainly have no intention of inducing a coma to quit smoking but if I should ever wind up in that condition, it would be nice to know that there would be a bright side.

Listverse : Top 10 Unusual Uses For Beer

Sun, 4 Jul 2010 15:37:57 +0000

Here's one my veterinarian told me about: Pour a little beer in your cat's or dog's food daily to help reduce shedding problems.

Listverse : 25 Bizarre Buildings

Fri, 2 Jul 2010 01:00:27 +0000

How about the Lego house? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1214729/J...

Listverse : Top 10 Comedy Teams of All Time

Wed, 30 Jun 2010 01:49:00 +0000

If this was my list, I'd have to take Martin and Lewis out and put Burns and Allen in their spot.