I think more family members would step up to help if our nation didn't celebrate adoption like they do. Most people are uneducated to the fact that adoption hurts the adoptee tremendously, or are unwilling to accept it.

Adoptee here (AKA Janice Wilcox). I had my first face to face encounter with an adoptive grandparent. She spoke over me and wouldn't listen. Just shook her head and told me I was talking in circles when I was saying that family preservation needed to be exercised. She (a pastors wife) said, in so many words, that if we worked to preserve family there wouldn't be babies for infertile couples to raise! As if people who are unable to conceive are the deserving ones. (p.s. my husband and I can't have kids, so have a unique perspective, I think.)

I love your articles, as they are an encouragement to me. I feel very alone in my non-fogged state. I really hope I don't lose friends. I sure was surprised how defensive she was of something I find un-Godly.

Christians like to use this model to endorse adoption, but they're doing it falsely. Like you point out, they are using scripture to make themselves feel better while at the same time not even using the "Moses model".

First of all, Moses was not an inconvenience to his mother. She sent him off because the alternative was death. Ex. 1:22 "Then Pharaoh gave this order to all his people: “Every Hebrew boy that is born you must throw into the Nile, but let every girl live.”

Secondly, Moses' sister watched after him as he floated away. She was there when Pharaoh's daughter found Moses and suggested she find a nursemaid for him and brought back Moses' mother. (Ex. 2:1-8)

This is nothing like the adoption model we see today. And still, Moses turns out to be very troubled. " Looking this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand." Ex. 2:12

The lesson to be learned from the story of Moses is NOT "give your children away so that others can raise them." It's a redeeming story that God uses people who have failed… He loves us!

Lynn, I agree. If there has to be adoption, this sounds like an OK scenario. However, I think if I would have known what I was missing out on (3 sisters and married birth parents) when I was young, I would have been more miserable. Feeling left out and rejected at a very vulnerable time.

At least in my situation, finding my birth family in my 20's was better, I think. Of course, I would have found them a lot sooner had information been openly available, so I'm good with OA meaning that location information is updated and full family history is available.

OK, weird. I've been pondering this very question for over a week now. I'm an adoptee in happy reunion for 13 years.

Two things happened in about the same time to trigger my thoughts. 1. My birthparents left for home after a two week stay with my husband and I. 2. Some friends of mine who are currently missionaries in South America had to return to the states to meet their contractual obligation to their son's birthmother.

Every time a visit with my birth family has ended, I experience loss and a bout of depression. I am 38 yrs old. I should be able to handle it better. So it got me thinking... what happens when a developing child has to endure this reoccurring loss? That can't be healthy.

I'm of the belief that infant adoption is rarely (maybe never?) a good idea. I previously thought that OA was better, but I hadn't really thought about it, I had just been (I think) mislead to believe the propaganda that it was the good kind of adoption.

Kat, I appreciate your candor and I wonder if your experience is the norm, or do most people have positive things to say. I'm guessing yours is more common; but I would like to know… more comments please. :)

Very well-written. Thanks!

Sorry to go off topic, BTW... Thanks for sharing that article. My specific problem seems to be not being able to 'feel' connected to God. I grew up in a Christian home and have since surrounded myself with Christian people (husband, church) and we are very involved. If it wasn't for my Christian community, I would be doing something else (what, I don't know). I do have my own faith, and have seen too many acts of God to deny Him... I just don't feel personally connected to Him like others seem too. I was wondering if this stems from being adopted or do I need to do something differently.

Thanks, Lee and responders. I'm pretty new here too, but I feel close to you all. Nancy, I applaud you stepping out and posting, we adoptees need to communicate.

Deanna, have you written about how we relate to God and the struggles 'keeping in touch' with Him? Or is that just me...

Carla