gdp's Comments

Womanist Musings : Pregnancy and Abortion: A Tale of Two Mothers

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 20:54:05 +0000

Great piece, though those comments...did they even read your piece? Apparently freaking not. Reminder to self: NEVER READ THE COMMENTS.

Womanist Musings : Disney's Jasmine is the Archetype of White Colonial Fantasies

Sat, 17 Sep 2011 01:23:18 +0000

Brilliant post. Even as a white, ignorant child, there was always something that really unsettled me about Jasmine. Her body wasn't...real. The huge breasts, the tiny waist. It seemed so fake and forced. It wasn't until I got older and could put it into a more global and historical context that I realized just how messed up it was.

Womanist Musings : Safety For The Rich

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 23:34:24 +0000

If we put this much energy into solving social issues...

Womanist Musings : Gotcha and the Public vs Private Divide

Wed, 3 Aug 2011 00:09:16 +0000

No, not one way street. I misinterpreted what you wrote, I admitted it and I apologized. And, yes, you don't get it. You don't get what it is like to be degraded and erased because of your sexual orientation or your gender identity, just as I don't know what it is like to be degraded and erased because of my race. This is not the Oppression Olympics. We both know how it feels to be degraded and dehumanized, but for entirely different reasons. And I realize you are trying to have a different conversation. That's the problem. You're talking the talk, but not actually acting on it. It's all well and good to say you are sorry, but when people come in and point out issues with your "apology", your response is once again, "Well fuck you, where is your blog? What do you do?" You're apology means shit unless you actually listen to the people you hurt, which you are not doing. Faith without works is dead, just as words without actions are dead. You may be saying you take responsibility, but you sure as hell are not acting like it. And, you know, I am sure I am just going to get another, "Well you fuck up, too!" response. You have successfully triggered me into feeling erased, degraded and dehumanized. In other words? I feel like a piece of trash. Congratulations. This is the effect your "apology" had.

Womanist Musings : Gotcha and the Public vs Private Divide

Tue, 2 Aug 2011 23:09:57 +0000

You still. don't. get. it. This is not about my fails. Yes, I have failed. The internet is littered with my fails (because *gasp* I blog about social justice stuff too! Am I worthy enough to comment now?). I was not attempting to school you about anything - I was merely trying to draw a parallel. But I see that I misinterpreted your words, and for that I am sorry. But, again, this is not about my fails. This is about YOUR fails and how you are continually making excuses and trying to shift the focus. Can't you see how hurtful you saying, "I'm sorry, but..." is? Renee, it hurts. As part of the audience you are trying to apologize to, you are hurting me. And not just me, but other people who are also a part of your target audience. I don't know how much clearer I can make this.

Womanist Musings : Gotcha and the Public vs Private Divide

Tue, 2 Aug 2011 19:18:22 +0000

Yes, Renee, it is true that we all make mistakes. I know I certainly have made my share. But this blog and that post are not about my mistakes, or Farron's mistakes, or anyone's mistakes other than yours. And no amount of finger-pointing is going to change that. I own my mistakes, and I try to learn and grow from them. And even though you claim that is your goal here, I see less and less of that with every post you make. Your hole is so deep at this point, I am surprised you can still get internet access so close to the Earth's core. And it hurts and saddens me as some one who looks to you to learn that you are either unwilling or simply unable to see that. I was the one who referenced the fact that I get enough flak from the Christian right and I shouldn't have to get it from supposed "allies" as well. (Which, honestly, I wish you just would have named names when you were writing this post. It really passive-aggressive to pull the "well, some people..." card.) As you yourself say, intent is not magic. Hurtful words are hurtful words, whether they come from an ally or an enemy. Hell, they are sometimes even more hurtful when they come from an ally - at least we expect them from an enemy. The fact that you continue to sit here and defend the fact that you are not homophobic or transphobic shows that you are not truly sorry and are not interested in learning and growing from your mistakes. You have cis and straight privilege, and you live in a society that upholds it. Of course you are homophobic and transphobic, just as White people who live in a society that upholds White privilege are, by default, racist (which is something you yourself have claimed over and over). Not because it is something they want or actively choose to be (although some do), but because that is how they are raised and conditioned. The trick to not being those things is not to stick your fingers in your ears and scream as loud as you can when people point that out, but instead to say, "Yeah, you know what, I am. And I hope and pray that through listening and learning and unpacking my privilege, that one day, I am not."

Womanist Musings : Apology

Mon, 1 Aug 2011 23:28:17 +0000

Because Renee is not interested in having a mature conversation. She has repeatedly told people to fuck off and has dismissed perfectly legitimate criticisms because she can't verify the social justice creds of people writing them. How is that in any way trying to have a mature conversation?

Womanist Musings : Apology

Mon, 1 Aug 2011 23:22:35 +0000

Yes, I do. I am a single, genderqueer person raising a child who was conceived as the result of rape by a stranger. My child in no way needs his "father" in his life. Not only was your original post insulting and hurtful to queer, trans* and non-binary people, but it was also hurtful and insulting to those of us who have damn good reasons for not having our child's sperm donor in their lives. As the child of a father who was there for me when it was convenient for him, I feel that girl's pain. Oh, believe me, I feel it. There were many, many nights where I sobbed my eyes out, wondering why my daddy didn't love me or want me. But my child's "father" is a rapist. He raped me, and my son is a product of that. I already hear from the Christian right how I am damaging my son, brainwashing him and how he is doomed to a life of crime and failure because I had the gall to work my ass off so I could raise him as a single, parent. I shouldn't have to hear from the people who are supposedly "defending" our rights, too. You claim to want to teach your children how to be open and accepting, yet over and over again, when people call you on your shit, your response is a knee-jerk "Well fuck you, what do you do?!" as if the only way their opinion matters is if they have a blog and an audience and somehow measure up to your standards of "good enough".

Womanist Musings : Apology

Mon, 1 Aug 2011 22:16:17 +0000

Do you want to explain why you believe it was half ass? Wait, I thought it wasn't up to the marginalized group to educate the non-marginalized group. Isn't that what you always say?

Womanist Musings : Apology

Mon, 1 Aug 2011 22:10:04 +0000

...So all of the people who came into that thread that ID as genderqueer, trans*, queer and intersex should, what, just shut up and sit down and let the cis straight folk edumacate them on what's wrong with their families and how they are dooming their children to a life of failure and misery because they don't have "real men" in the lives of their children?

Womanist Musings : Is It Really All That Embarrassing?

Mon, 4 Jul 2011 03:42:53 +0000

I have a cat who, despite having "short" hair, sheds like the dickens. I try my best to brush her regularly to keep it under control, but I work three jobs, and sometimes fall behind. I say this to remind people that the time and energy to repeatedly brush a dog or cat is somewhat of a privilege. In addition to the time factor, I also have problems with cysts in my wrist, and sometimes the repetitive motions of brushing are painful. If you take the dog to the right groomer, a haircut to keep fur under control does NOT have to be a traumatic experience, especially when followed up with treats, cuddles and a good ol' roll in the grass. I know many dog owners who cut fur short at the beginning of the warm weather (so it will be properly grown in once cold weather arrives) and their dogs are much happier for it.

Womanist Musings : Poverty Manifesto (Or at least what Dan does)

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 00:11:23 +0000

You can even do this if you shower! Just plug the bathtub and shower as usual. The water will collect in the tub and you can save it.

Womanist Musings : Fauxgressives: Stealing is ‘rong You Evil Poor Person!

Fri, 24 Jun 2011 00:03:56 +0000

And that is why you are a douchecanoe. /thread

Womanist Musings : Fauxgressives: Stealing is ‘rong You Evil Poor Person!

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 23:59:50 +0000

There must be a new chapter in the Bible or something. The Gospel According to Derailing for Dummies.

Womanist Musings : Fauxgressives: Stealing is ‘rong You Evil Poor Person!

Thu, 23 Jun 2011 23:55:56 +0000

Yes, because heaven forfend poor people have small niceties in a life that is otherwise hard and often times unpleasant. If we're not wearing burlap sacks and living on crusts of bread and glasses of water, we obviously are not poor enough and could find something else in our lives to give up and save money!

Womanist Musings : Poverty Manifesto (Or at least what Dan does)

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 19:25:57 +0000

In other words, theft should be the last resort and only in order to survive at a reasonably healthy level. With the support structures (such as they are) that are built into this particular society, there are only a small percentage of people that don't have access to the basic necessities. Wooooow, classism, ahoy! The "support structures" that are supposedly built in to this society are shit. The reason I was wheeling grocery carts full of food out of the grocery store was because I was making only about $10,000 per year and was still not eligible for food stamps and the food pantries around me would only let me come once per month because there were so many people who needed their services that they needed to limit the number of times people could come per month. You know how I finally got food stamps? I got pregnant. That's it. Nothing about my job or living status changed other than I was pregnant. Another time, when I was between jobs (because the nanny job I had been at ended because the people moved), I was living with a roommate (actually, we were cramming 5 people into a three bedroom apartment at the time) who decided to just stop paying her portion of the rent. I managed to cover it for a month or two, but after that, I had depleted my meager savings. In Chicago (where I live) they have what they call the Office for Homelessness Prevention. I called them because I had received an eviction notice from my landlord for my failure to pay rent. The office told me that because I had no job, they could not help me. When I went around to other charities (places like Catholic Charities), they told me I needed a referral from the Office of Homelessness Prevention before they would even talk to me. So, seriously, before you go making classist assumptions, check your damn privilege.

Womanist Musings : Poverty Manifesto (Or at least what Dan does)

Sun, 19 Jun 2011 01:35:36 +0000

Is it comfortable up there on your high horse? Nice view? Having fun looking down on all us morally inferior folk? Until you have lived on plain rice and nothing else because you can't afford it, don't you dare fucking judge. Until you have had to sell your body (when sex work is not something you want to engage in) so you can afford to buy some more rice because you are all out and have no money, don't you dare fucking judge. You have not lived my life, nor the OP's life, nor the life of anyone else on this thread. It's awesome that you have been able to live a life that has not forced you into extreme circumstances. But some of us have. And I refuse to feel guilty for something I have had to do in order to literally not starve.

Womanist Musings : Poverty Manifesto (Or at least what Dan does)

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 02:25:27 +0000

You know what? When women of color and trans* people earn the same wage for doing the same job as a white man, then I'll listen to your capitalistic sob story. Until then, your "what makes you so special" nonsense is laughable at best.

Womanist Musings : Poverty Manifesto (Or at least what Dan does)

Sat, 18 Jun 2011 02:20:18 +0000

Before I was eligible for food stamps, I used to walk into a grocery store (always a big chain, never indie stores) and simply fill up one of those small hand carts that you see old ladies carrying everywhere...and then I would walk out of the store. You do what you have to do to survive, and if that means stealing, then so be it. If you need food and have a moral objection to stealing, hit up local churches to see if they have a food bank. Most cities these days have dollar stores (you know, the stores where everything is a dollar?). USE THEM. You can get most anything there - kitchen utensils, cleaning supplies, stationary, basic food staples - and since everything is only a dollar, you save. Shop the end caps at places like Target. End caps are the displays at the ends of the aisles and many times they put their clearance items there. Today at Target, I got 4 bowls, 4 tumblers and a huge serving/mixing bowl for a whopping total of $3. Here are some awesome tips that explain how Target puts things on sale: http://www.wisebread.com/tips-for-perimeter-perus... Dumpster dive. Many people find the thought of eating out of dumpsters gross, but if you can stomach it, DO IT. Grocery stores throw away so. much. stuff. Much of it is perfectly edible, but may have a brown spot or two, or be a day past its "sell by" date. A couple weeks ago, I went with a friend and we got at least a dozen mangoes, half a dozen ears of corn, packaged herbs and bagged salads, eggplant, SIX WHOLE PIZZAS...and that's just what I can remember. And dumpster diving doesn't just have to be about food. If you live in a college town, peruse alleys at the beginning and end of each semester (when kids are moving in/out). You can find tons of stuff that won't fit in dorm rooms or moving trucks that people just throw out. Craigslist is your friend. Seriously. Find your town and go wild. The free section rocks, but you can also find good deals in the "for sale" sections. There is also a "gigs" section where you might be able to pick up some side work if you are between jobs. Freecycle.org is also a good place to get free stuff. If you crave sweet and fizzy drinks, a cheaper (and healthier!) alternative to soda is to buy the frozen cans of concentrated juice and add seltzer water instead of plain tap water. ...And that's all I can think of now. I am sure I will come up with more later.

Womanist Musings : What's In A Name?

Fri, 3 Jun 2011 04:05:09 +0000

Actually, the urban legend is true! At least in one case. My mother was an art teacher when I was in high school and had two siblings (don't remember if they were twins) named Orangejello and Lemonjello. I saw the names written on the homework I helped her grade. There was also Male and Female (pronounced "Molly and Femolly" - these were a set of girl/boy twins) and a trio of siblings named Boo, Beam and Bat. And those are just the names I remember seeing. My aunt, also a teacher, had a student named Cherry Hymen and another named Shithead (pronounced "Shitheed" - his family was from India). Oddly enough, I never batted an eye at the names. I thought they were wonderful. I grew up in the suburbs and my schools were filled with Jackies and Danielles and Colleens and Jessicas and Natalies. I can remember thinking what a hassle it was to call out for your friend "Greg" and get 5 kids turning their heads. My family never really had strong ties to cultural traditions (my great-grandparents on my maternal side, which was the only side I had contact with, had come to the US from Italy as young adults and worked very hard to make sure their children were "American") and I can remember thinking how lucky these kids were. Anyway, just wanted to say that in a New Jersey town, at least for a couple years in the nineties, there was actually an Orangejello and Lemonjello.