Dear Desi,

Indeed, you are going to need something else to overshadow all that emotion and thought you've invested in that doomed relationship (and please note that I make no distinction between emotion and thought at all, at all).

Most people will say, "You can't find another romance now -- you need time to heal." I say, that's bunk. If the most perfect lover for one appears on one's doorstep, the respectable thing for a hopeless romantic to do is drop whomever one happens to be married to and raising a family with at the time, and jump headlong into the new relationship with Prince Charming. The question, of course, is: does one really believe this to be the best course of action? If not, then one cannot go on championing things like "pure" love, "true" love, or "soul mates."

Bitter pill to swallow, should one choose to swallow it, but the effect of this medicine is my closest friend, Will. Should one decide to believe that the perfect lover is he whom one should consciously and with prejudice declare to be so, then one seizes the reins of romantic destiny, and becomes the captain of it.

Now this completely redefines romantic love -- I own that -- but I suggest all this nonsense on the basis of reason. Most women I've related this sacrilege to have reacted violently to it (on the verge of literal physical violence) and I once had an entire university class, professor and all, standing and shouting their curses at me, because they believed logic to be antithetical to emotion. I do not see it so. Were logic and emotion enemies, why would we expect reasons for all our emotions? Are you sad? Why? Are you glad? Why? And of course, logical conclusions generally form the basis for all our conscious emotions.

Anyhow, this is an awful lot about perhaps very little, and I expect much resistance in this den of heart-shaped boxes and valentine fans, but it's how I see things more often than not, and you seem sincere about what you've written. You deserve, in my opinion, sincere replies.

Yours Truly,

-BothEyes

Dear A.D.,

I followed you down the rabbit hole you escaped through at my own writing place, and I must say, I'm surprised at what I've just read. You don't seem much the type to be interested in the sort of thing I do over at "In a Real World...," but apparently, you were.

Look -- now I'm the mere observer, right?

Now about this heartbreak business: in my opinion, romance is much like punctuality. One cannot be in love without elements of heartbreak any more than one can be "on time." There is no "on time." One is either early, or late, unless we toy with interpretations.

I see a parallel in romance. Heartbreaks are memories, and they stay with us forever, scars slowly fading, but never really going completely away. Thoughts work in loops, turning over and over until some other event comes to overshadow those, and this is what the vastly deluded psychological world calls healing.

To you I suggest -- f*ck healing.

Go about your life, woman. Maybe he was perfect, maybe he is perfect, maybe you sinned, maybe we'd all be as boring as C-SPAN unless we committed some crimes against morality from time to time.

As for myself, I like my preachers hypocritical, my politicians corrupt, my authors prevaricating, and my romances. . . Circumstantial.

He wasn't the first, Miss, and having read your work, I'm certain he's far from the last.

I like your style, Des.

Yours Truly,

-BothEyes

Hello Vjack,

Nice place you got here. It's funny, I grew up in one of the more religious areas of Southern California, but things are only slightly different in Huntington Beach from where you're at, Sir. It seems you would likely be accosted or put down, yelled at or lynched or something, but in Orange County, the fundies wait until the detractor has left the room, then spend the next hour disparaging him or her.

It's true, Los Angeles has more atheists and agnostics, and may be what you call, "more enlightened," but the cultural divide is broad and widening. Gay and lesbian people congregate to safe, less-churchy cities like San Francisco, Long Beach, and L.A., and homophobes fairly sprint out of those areas. This, in turn, makes those areas much more attractive for those like you and I who do not wish to have people picketing the local abortion clinic with mean-spirited signs, trying to talk teenage girls into keeping their fetuses intact, and everyone's a little happier.

On the other hand, So. Cal. society is becoming more than a little fractious on this score, and fairly soon the lines will be thick enough to be officially noticed. Sometimes I wonder if I'll see a sign on the 405 South reading: "Now Entering First Christian City of Mission Viejo," or some such thing.

Anyhow, swell blog, swell post, and I think I'll have to come back around.

Pleased to Make Your Acquaintance,

-BothEyes