IntenseDebate - bgbadoptee

9 years ago @ Lost Daughters - The Adoption Industry · 1 reply · +5 points

" There is no such thing as a baby shortage any more than there is a patient shortage when hospital beds are empty." Loved this! And so much more. Agreed with all of it. Thank you for taking the time to write it.

9 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Double Whammy Adoptees · 0 replies · +1 points

Thank you. Much love to you too.
My recent post Strange Grief

9 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Double Whammy Adoptees · 2 replies · +1 points

You are telling my life story!! Except I haven't crawled out as much as you have yet. I am still trying, and failing, to find someone to listen, to guide me through. Plus, I feel I *can't* just leave my parents. They are now old, poor, and infirm, and I'm the only one to help. I feel walking away would be wrong, but it's definitely the absolute hardest thing to do!!

Correct me if I'm wrong (this is tangentially related) -- it seems like in your life, your husband and you work together as a team...if there is something you as the wife and adoptee want to do, that you think is important, your husband hears and helps move it forward, instead of just saying "no, I don't want to do that." (this is just the impression I get from your writings.) If this is true, do you think it has helped you in your life? I definitely *don't* have that and feel it's a difficult sticking point. I can't seem to grow and "become" when I'm not allowed to make changes for my mental health and that of my family.

Sorry if it sounds like prying - I don't mean to. I'm just very interested in adoptee growth (especially my own, LOL) and what it takes to "make it out alive."
My recent post The Angry Adoptee

10 years ago @ Lost Daughters - Rooted to Resiliency: ... · 0 replies · +1 points

Thank you for writing it!
My recent post Baby Girl Vanished

10 years ago @ Lost Daughters - Rooted to Resiliency: ... · 0 replies · +2 points

I get this! I mean, I knew I didn't "like" adoption and that it had messed me up, but until reunion I didn't understand all that I had really lost. Much love to you.
My recent post Baby Girl Vanished

10 years ago @ The Declassified Adoptee - \"Mommy, Which Mom is ... · 0 replies · +2 points

Excellent piece! I can only hope that I'm giving my children a sense of "realness" - I have not gotten there myself. Before having children I never considered how much adoption would affect them too. That's not something "they" tell the moms considering relinquishing or adopting now, is it!
My recent post Adopto-Snark

10 years ago @ Lost Daughters - We Were All Good Adopt... · 0 replies · +3 points

Truth!!

I'm so sorry about the death of your brother. :(

I worked at a children's hospital as a teen, where there was a maybe 9 month old who had been in a car accident with her parents. She survived, they did not. Everyone there knew how tragic it was. Wishing it was the same with adoption...at least we wouldn't feel as crazy.
My recent post A Win and a Loss

10 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Are You a Pain Relieve... · 1 reply · +2 points

Absolutely! As if we are lying because they had a different time of it. It's like saying my friend can't possibly have a bad marriage because I have a good one.
My recent post A Win and a Loss

10 years ago @ http://www.adopteerest... - Are You a Pain Relieve... · 1 reply · +1 points

So thankful to be a pain reliever! Just call me Advil, LOL! And even more thankful to have people like you, Deanna, as fellow pain relievers on our journey. My life is full of dismissers and one-uppers. You are a balm to a weary soul.
My recent post A Win and a Loss

10 years ago @ Lost Daughters - How to Respond to a Ne... · 0 replies · +3 points

I'm so thankful I haven't had to meet a brand new adoptive parent since I've come out of the fog several years ago. I have enough trouble dealing with "internet friends" who are adopting/have adopted. I have a very hard time seeing the "happy" in it, and instead just feel for the baby...it hits me viscerally, as if hearing that his parents had just died. There's no way to hide that on my face, so I'm glad I haven't had to deal with it.
My recent post It could have been so much worse

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