en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/4081461 Comments by An Asexual Ungulate http://wonkette.com/576217/oregon-gov-kitzhaber-vowing-to-never-give-up-never-surrender-resigns#IDComment950540377 He's just lucky his shady dealings haven't port-LANDED him in jail already. (please don't hit me with the ban hammer) Sat, 14 Feb 2015 16:11:32 +0000 http://wonkette.com/576217/oregon-gov-kitzhaber-vowing-to-never-give-up-never-surrender-resigns#IDComment950540377 http://wonkette.com/575848/morning-maddow-brian-williams-gets-six-months-jon-stewart-gets-life-video#IDComment949750290 But how does this Stewart/Williams-gate coverup relate to Benghazi? Was it really all directed by the Obama administration in an effort to distract from... who even knows anymore, whatever invented thing idiots are angry about this week? Wed, 11 Feb 2015 16:24:46 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575848/morning-maddow-brian-williams-gets-six-months-jon-stewart-gets-life-video#IDComment949750290 http://wonkette.com/575242/kansas-just-going-to-go-ahead-and-arrest-teachers-for-teaching-now#IDComment948452998 Ah, that's cute, they're trying to regurgitate Supreme Court language about obscenity to save their stupid statute. Fri, 6 Feb 2015 18:39:55 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575242/kansas-just-going-to-go-ahead-and-arrest-teachers-for-teaching-now#IDComment948452998 http://wonkette.com/575018/million-year-old-rocker-pat-boone-thinks-obama-will-set-all-the-murderers-free#IDComment947906830 But... what does that conspiracy theory have to do with anything in Dr. Strangelove? Ah, why am I trying to make sense of it, making non sequiturs like that is required to even get hired at WND. Wed, 4 Feb 2015 22:09:23 +0000 http://wonkette.com/575018/million-year-old-rocker-pat-boone-thinks-obama-will-set-all-the-murderers-free#IDComment947906830 http://wonkette.com/574669/chris-christiejenny-mccarthy-2016#IDComment947236780 Oh, good, vaccination can now be added to the pile of "things GOP lawmakers know nothing about but still want to bloviate on for political reasons" along with climate change, economic theory, tax policy, rape prevention, women's health... this list is getting depressingly long... Isn't living in the future great! Mon, 2 Feb 2015 16:24:56 +0000 http://wonkette.com/574669/chris-christiejenny-mccarthy-2016#IDComment947236780 http://wonkette.com/574383/bryan-fischer-was-not-fired-from-wingnut-central-for-saying-any-of-the-following#IDComment946066126 But but but the gays! In their tight, form fitting, Hugo Boss uniforms with their riding crops and harsh interrogation techniques and gay homosex! Fri, 30 Jan 2015 00:07:35 +0000 http://wonkette.com/574383/bryan-fischer-was-not-fired-from-wingnut-central-for-saying-any-of-the-following#IDComment946066126 http://wonkette.com/573314/orange-county-high-schoolers-all-have-measles-now-thanks-anti-vaxxers#IDComment943506140 I've really got to get in on that sweet, sweet sheeple fleecing money. Wed, 21 Jan 2015 20:23:15 +0000 http://wonkette.com/573314/orange-county-high-schoolers-all-have-measles-now-thanks-anti-vaxxers#IDComment943506140 http://wonkette.com/573071/paris-to-fox-news-see-you-in-court-for-being-lying-liars#IDComment943190484 What with France being France and all... it might actually work. If they get stuck suing in US courts, though, it'll just be a rehash of Fox's previous winning argument: "We're not really a news channel, we produce entertainment". ...not that it'll stop that one annoying uncle from believing everything they broadcast. Tue, 20 Jan 2015 20:59:51 +0000 http://wonkette.com/573071/paris-to-fox-news-see-you-in-court-for-being-lying-liars#IDComment943190484 http://wonkette.com/572987/wingers-demand-ginsburg-kagan-recuse-selves-from-gay-marriage-case-go-play-softball#IDComment943122005 I'm sure his article went on to say "...the same is true of other issues, and I expect Justice Scalia to recuse himself on any issue which he has given public speeches on." ...right? He's not the kind of asshole that has a double standard for issues he supports and those he's against... right? Ha! Tue, 20 Jan 2015 16:20:36 +0000 http://wonkette.com/572987/wingers-demand-ginsburg-kagan-recuse-selves-from-gay-marriage-case-go-play-softball#IDComment943122005 http://wonkette.com/572824/white-teenage-criminals-are-cuddly-and-cute-and-white-and-not-really-criminals-really#IDComment942856275 If they wanna come over here an' tell us US 'Merricans how to live our lives, maybe they should just go back over there to Europe where they can have it as they like. I, fer one, am SICK of these damn whities comin' over here an' tryinna make this a secular pro-gressive sorta place. Mon, 19 Jan 2015 21:06:00 +0000 http://wonkette.com/572824/white-teenage-criminals-are-cuddly-and-cute-and-white-and-not-really-criminals-really#IDComment942856275 http://wonkette.com/572610/ben-carson-says-isis-pretty-much-like-american-founders-except-maybe-for-the-wigs#IDComment941988401 Well... it's not gonna sell itself... Fri, 16 Jan 2015 21:00:45 +0000 http://wonkette.com/572610/ben-carson-says-isis-pretty-much-like-american-founders-except-maybe-for-the-wigs#IDComment941988401 http://wonkette.com/572192/atlanta-fire-chief-simply-does-not-care-for-gay-people-wingnuts-are-on-it#IDComment941228970 I like to imagine all of the excerpts being read in the voice of the sergeant from Dr. Strangelove who has the little scene about the coke machine. Atlanta's former fire chief would thank you all to not do anything preverted and to keep your preversions off of him, thanks. Wed, 14 Jan 2015 15:56:56 +0000 http://wonkette.com/572192/atlanta-fire-chief-simply-does-not-care-for-gay-people-wingnuts-are-on-it#IDComment941228970 http://wonkette.com/571413/shell-to-pay-nigeria-83-5-million-for-oil-spills-instead-of-original-6000-offer-not-a-typo#IDComment939016934 The initial offer smacks of "the money's on the dresser, clean yourself up and get out". ...I wonder if someone who's not good at detecting jokes was left in charge of that one. Thu, 8 Jan 2015 15:43:39 +0000 http://wonkette.com/571413/shell-to-pay-nigeria-83-5-million-for-oil-spills-instead-of-original-6000-offer-not-a-typo#IDComment939016934 http://wonkette.com/571420/gop-house-fixes-all-nations-problems-on-first-day-back-by-banning-abortion-again#IDComment939015911 It's just a little premature legislation... hey, it happens to every congress sometimes! Especially after years of legislative blueballing. They'll be good to go again in ten, twelve months tops. Then you'll get the performance you were expecting, they promise. Thu, 8 Jan 2015 15:40:31 +0000 http://wonkette.com/571420/gop-house-fixes-all-nations-problems-on-first-day-back-by-banning-abortion-again#IDComment939015911 http://wonkette.com/571235/alabama-town-now-owned-by-god-god-to-flip-it-to-ganesh-make-bank#IDComment938629919 It's the fender o' god! Wed, 7 Jan 2015 16:19:03 +0000 http://wonkette.com/571235/alabama-town-now-owned-by-god-god-to-flip-it-to-ganesh-make-bank#IDComment938629919 http://wonkette.com/571235/alabama-town-now-owned-by-god-god-to-flip-it-to-ganesh-make-bank#IDComment938628397 I can't define ceremonial deism, but I know it when I see it. ...and buddy, this ain't it. Wed, 7 Jan 2015 16:13:57 +0000 http://wonkette.com/571235/alabama-town-now-owned-by-god-god-to-flip-it-to-ganesh-make-bank#IDComment938628397 http://wonkette.com/571116/being-a-cop-is-just-like-being-black-or-a-woman-say-sad-oppressed-cops#IDComment938229878 The single most oppressed group in human history. Tue, 6 Jan 2015 15:47:28 +0000 http://wonkette.com/571116/being-a-cop-is-just-like-being-black-or-a-woman-say-sad-oppressed-cops#IDComment938229878 http://wonkette.com/571116/being-a-cop-is-just-like-being-black-or-a-woman-say-sad-oppressed-cops#IDComment938229746 Blue pride! Tue, 6 Jan 2015 15:47:02 +0000 http://wonkette.com/571116/being-a-cop-is-just-like-being-black-or-a-woman-say-sad-oppressed-cops#IDComment938229746 http://wonkette.com/571116/being-a-cop-is-just-like-being-black-or-a-woman-say-sad-oppressed-cops#IDComment938229480 But then every department would only have one Smurfette who would have to... well... you know... Tue, 6 Jan 2015 15:46:13 +0000 http://wonkette.com/571116/being-a-cop-is-just-like-being-black-or-a-woman-say-sad-oppressed-cops#IDComment938229480 http://wonkette.com/571116/being-a-cop-is-just-like-being-black-or-a-woman-say-sad-oppressed-cops#IDComment938228854 ...and how much did the Fraternal Order of Police pay some idiot for that particular PR concept? Even if it was free, they paid too much. Tue, 6 Jan 2015 15:44:06 +0000 http://wonkette.com/571116/being-a-cop-is-just-like-being-black-or-a-woman-say-sad-oppressed-cops#IDComment938228854