I started my (now abandoned) ayearinskirts blog to explore the topic of femininity. Specifically why didn't I feel comfortable wearing anything but jeans? I would watch my daughter wear only dresses and be comfortable and I remembered liking dresses when I was young. What was stamped out of me that I now felt so uncomfortable? I didn't want that happening to my daughter either.
It was a good exercise. I'm now back to wearing jeans but I also wear dresses with leggings often too. I learned how to wear earrings. I learned to pay attention to my nails. I learned how to style my hair rather than just whipping it up in a ponytail constantly.
Skirts in our culture mean one of two things: You're trying to be religious. Or you're trying to be sexy.
For some reason skirts lost the middle ground of simply being an article of clothing that women wear. It now has this meaning. You can wear pants every single day of your life and not be making some kind of big statement. But wear a skirt every day and you most certainly are.
(And just as a sidenote: It would be really nice if you could find women with darker skin or other ethnic features to also include in pictures on your blog. As a mom with darker kids I'm much more aware now how excluded other skin tones and ethnic traits are. Of course it is your blog and you can put up what you wish. One of the reasons I loved watching the Bachelor wedding was I really enjoyed seeing such a beautiful darker skinned bride.)

I heartily agree with getting the junk out of the home. Those toys reproduce I tell you!! It makes it SO MUCH easier to keep their rooms clean and house clean when I regularly go through and cull the stuff. It's definitely a process but it makes my daily cleaning much more manageable and the children are actually able to clean their rooms too.

First of all- always get your shower!! There is no reason for a person not to shower every day. Even a newborn can be brought into the bathroom and put into a bouncy seat. A toddler will nap or watch a tv show at some point. Always shower! No matter what! Second- you need to join a Moms club that gets you socializing with other women and gets you out of the house. The more you're out of the house, the fewer messes will be made in the house, the less you'll have to clean up. Third- nap when you need to nap. Nap on the couch while your daughter watches tv or when she's sleeping. Fourth- hire some help. Maybe a high school girl in the neighborhood can watch your daughter outside for you while you're inside doing dishes. Find a girl or boy from church whom you can pay to help. Tell your husband you're hiring help. If he doesn't want you spending the money, then that is a good gateway into the conversation of needing his help then. He honestly might be fine with you hiring some help.
Fifth- you say your daughter is very sick... so I don't know what you're dealing with. Some men escape the pain by being invested other places.

I wanted to add that one of our favorite things to do when taking a vacation together is to go on long bike rides. He has said on more than one occasion that he is glad I am fit so that we can do these things together. So yes, it is more than just about looks (although I'm sure that does matter on some level). It's about being fit and capable.
Although- this is the man I married. For a different sort of man he might like a lady who makes great nachos and wants to sit and watch football with him.

This was a good clarification post. When I was pregnant with my second child my husband started exercising and losing weight. I was so annoyed!! Here he was getting skinny while I was getting bigger and bigger by the day. And then he did the unthinkable and KEPT exercising and KEPT losing weight! He lost a total of 35lbs. I was like "I thought we were going to get softer as we got older!" So then I was stuck. I can't stand the thought of being the heavy wife to a skinny husband. So by that motivation alone I make sure to keep my weight in check. I am not as fit as he is, but I do exercise most every day.

Thank you for this article Lori. It is very helpful to me. My husband is unquestionably a Mr. Steady with spurts of Command. But he's really 90% Steady. I think I take advantage of that and am prone to laziness. I also find myself wishing for more romance. Wishing he'd plan a trip for us. Wishing he could take some vacation time. Wishing we could do more together and connect.

"But the question remains for perhaps millions of marriages out there. Will godly husbands love their wives and marriages enough to fight for them, or do they cut and run into a divorce."
My mom is really really difficult. My dad cut and run for divorce when I was 6. My mom was stunned. She didn't see it coming at all. I don't blame my dad necessarily- but I can appreciate husbands who are willing to stick in there and work with their crazy wives and get things better. Neither my mom or dad has remarried. It's been 30 years now.

This is hard Lisa. I just can't tell someone to not be at their best.

does your husband exercise? Or has he "let himself go" a bit?

Well, I have very small boobs and I'm sure my husband occasionally wishes I was heartier up top (although he would never be dumb enough to tell me that.) He's only 5'7 and I occasionally wish he were taller, seeing as how I'm 5'5. We are who we are!