QOTD: Do You Think We're Meant to be with One Person for a Lifetime? Comments

rina

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 21:50:52 +0000

1) *I* am meant to be with one person for a lifetime. I want to build a life with someone, and that requires permanence. This is obviously not the case with everyone. 2) The most important thing is being open to the possibility and recognizing it when it comes along. I'm sure that plenty of people have met someone who they could be supremely happy with but for whatever reason it just wasn't the right time, or they weren't looking for a relationship, or whatever. I think there is a lot of luck involved. 3) Love, companionship, sex on the regular. [youtube DbbPl-7Ed6U http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbbPl-7Ed6U youtube]

Thunderclees

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:47:17 +0000

Do You Think We’re Meant to be with One Person for a Lifetime? Meant by whom?

Delta Sierra

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:34:01 +0000

Tell you what: I think being in a big sweat about whether or not this one is The One! puts a lot of pressure on the relationship and the two people in it. Pair up, if someone palatable comes along. See how you feel about it in a year, then maybe again the next year. Etc. Either it lasts or it doesn't. Always have your own job and income, so you're never in the ghastly position of having to stay with someone because of money.

The Grand Inquisitor

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:34:00 +0000

Yes, and that person is Mr. Jim Beam.

deleted1426379

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:13:25 +0000

1. No. Even if I did believe it, it would be my best friends, not my romantic partner. 2. No, but I will keep trying. 3. [youtube hsU6_eSG4k4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsU6_eSG4k4 youtube]

boredcoworker

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:07:13 +0000

1. I know for sure that I wasn't meant to be with just one person. I think about the person I was with when I was 19 and who we both are now (we share a son, so we know each other), and we are completely incompatable. 2. Not unreasonable. I've seen it happen. 3. I'm in my longest relationship and we've had our challenges. Neither of us wants to bail. I think it's because we both are really great friends who like to bone each other still after many years.

MattyMcboy

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 19:35:39 +0000

1) Depends on the person and the situation. I can't keep my dick in my pants, so if it's a closed situation it's not going to happen. 2) I guess. I found the man I am spending the rest of his life with who I can't imagine life without. Keep in mind I dated a lot of crazy in the mean time and I bring crazy without even trying. I also found him when I wasn't really looking and was going through one hell of a whore phase. 3) Two things make it worth it for me. He's the first person who actually believed in me and encourages me daily to do whatever makes me happy professionally. And the other is knowing that when the chips are down, he's in it with me. It's hard, incredibly hard, work but there's no one I want to wake up next to ever again that doesn't have four legs.

NotSoDeepSouth

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 19:07:25 +0000

1. Do you think we are meant to be with one person for a lifetime? Since we don't meet this person at birth, that isn't really possible. So define lifetime? I think some of us are more "built" for being in a relationship. 2. Is it reasonable to expect that everyone can find that one person? I think it is reasonable to say that everyone is afforded more or less the same opportunity. As with the rest of life, it's what we make of it that matters. Go ask Asia how arranged marriage has been working more or less fine for quite some time. 3. What makes it worth staying in a committed relationship? Love is often a choice. That said, not all relationships are workable. Therapists have told me that they can only fix what used to work, not what never did. I spent quite a while in my life wanted desperately to feel loved, only to find out later that I get to enjoy that feeling by being the person doing the loving. Not to say that if things weren't reciprocated I would hang out for long. I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I met my Prince.

tunamelt

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 18:04:40 +0000

I don't believe in soul mates. I think there are probably multiple people you can get along with, and love, and have a healthy long-term relationship with. I also think there are people who cannot do any of those things, or people who prefer to not do those things, and those are also valid.

SidAndFinancy

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 17:37:10 +0000

Sometimes, it just seems like a lifetime.

Lana_Kane

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 16:08:46 +0000

Wow the new romances got y'all feeling introspective. 1. Do you think we are meant to be with one person for a lifetime? My head says no but my heart says yes (Trite?). The thing is we all know all the logical reasons for saying no. We know soulmates/monogamy/everlasting love are sociocultural concepts foisted upon us by poets, novelists and rom com writers. Yet we devour stories about longest married couples. And we can't stop d'aawwing over Michelle and Barack. 2. Is it reasonable to expect that everyone can find that one person? No. Too many variables. It has to be the right time, right circumstances, right circle of friends, right subway line or the right grocery aisle etc. 3. What makes it worth staying in a committed relationship? I couldn't tell you. All I know is love on its own is not enough.

Aku-Aku

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 15:43:41 +0000

Nope, for every single reason Dogs already said. As an interesting sidebar though, you can tell humans aren't monogamous just by looking at us. The greater the difference in size between the male and female of a species, the less monogamous they are. It's been a while since I read The Third Chimpanzee, so I forget the reason - something to do with fighting off other males for possesion of your harem? But I still find that fact interesting.

blackball

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 15:01:40 +0000

1) You're meant to experience multiple relationships in a lifetime. But I believe there probably is a single person with whom you're most compatible. 2) No, unfortunately. 3) Emotional support via Love. For some of us, the thought of dying old and alone is frightening and very sad.

GloriousShoes

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:58:10 +0000

1. Do you think we are meant to be with one person for a lifetime? --Biologically, no. Culturally, we are pressured to do so. 2. Is it reasonable to expect that everyone can find that one person? --Nope. 3. What makes it worth staying in a committed relationship? --Every day my partner inspires me, challenges me, pushes me, and makes me want to be a better person. I think I do the same for him. We are better people to ourselves, each other and society because of each other. Do I think that only my husband can do this? Nope. But he's the only person I've met in this life who inspires me to achieve this much more.

deleted7185563

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:56:25 +0000

1. Do you think we are meant to be with one person for a lifetime? I believe some people are wired to find a mate and be with them til death. You'll notice that when they're single, all energy is devoted to finding someone to partner with. I also believe that some people are serial monogamists, hopping from relationship to relationship, never staying single for long. Experience has shown me that very few relationships last a lifetime. 2. Is it reasonable to expect that everyone can find that one person? Probably not. Even if you narrow the universe of "everyone" down to "everyone who wants a life-long committed relationship" it's highly likely that the dating game of musical chairs is going to leaving someone standing. 3. What makes it worth staying in a committed relationship? Trust. If you can't believe what your partner says, if you don't know that your partner has your best interests in mind, how can you stay with them?

APieceoftheContinent

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:52:20 +0000

When I'm at my most cynical I would cosign what Psssh said. When I'm not at my most cynical I would say 1. Yes. 2. No. 3. Because then you have a buddy to go through life with to help and support each other and to share your life experiences with.

DogsOfWar

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:43:56 +0000

1. Pre-destiny is a fallacy and we have free will so the idea that we are "meant" (meant by who?) to be with one person really doesn't hold up. 2. No. There is no such thing as the one person so the question doesn't make sense. Evidence shows us that plenty of people die alone having never had a relationship that amounted to anything so the data proves this wrong. 3. For some (many?) people it's better than not being in a relationship. If you have a particularly good relationship then it can be much better, if you're into that sort of thing.

deleted3029342

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 14:04:26 +0000

This post could only have been written by someone who's never been married. Hell no we're not only meant to be with one person our entire lives!

pssshwhatever

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 13:55:08 +0000

1. No, I doubt we're meant to. If we were truly intended to mate for life, more people would be able to do it successfully. I think it's possible to do it, in certain situations, but I don't think it's a biological imperative. 2. No, I don't think everyone can eventually find that person. Some people don't have the emotional intelligence to make something happen forever, no matter who they find. 3. I'll tell you when I find one worth staying in. (I don't mean this to sound as negative as it probably does. I don't mean it negatively at all, actually. I just think American culture sells us all a load of bullshit about relationships and marriage.)

Rowen

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 13:39:33 +0000

[youtube -XlOSiLkeic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XlOSiLkeic youtube]