zyxop

99p

17 comments posted · 4 followers · following 0

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +3 points

But-but-- what if there's no flavor? I love just plain club soda. I could go just look at the link but I'm scared that the verdict is not in my favor, because I already have major tooth sensitivity and LALALALA CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING BAD ABOUT BUBBLES

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +10 points

Based on my brother's reports about the Old Money peeps he encountered at Haaaaaahvahd, I am 100% sure this is true.

Sadly, Brother picked up a less-than-delightful impulse to out-grunge grungy-Old-Money while there, and has been offending others' olfactory senses ever since.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +15 points

OH DEAR GOD

I HADN'T BUT NOW I CAN'T STOP SEEING IT

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 6 replies · +28 points

I feel like Jolie here - get rid of your dogs/cats; they are disgusting.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 20 replies · +46 points

I once woke up* in the middle of the night and thought, "wow, my bedroom smells like poop." And got up, saw a blurry mess on my carpeted bedroom floor, and in a stroke of stunning genius, REACHED DOWN AND STUCK MY FINGER IN THE MESS to confirm that it was, indeed poop. Smelly, runny dog poop.

*was clearly not entirely awake

8 years ago @ The Toast - The Merry Spinster... · 0 replies · +3 points

You're killin it, Mallory!

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +6 points

I heard this once, and it's so true - having a child means consenting to forever wear your heart on the outside of your body.

I remember a friend of mine telling me about her reaction to Law & Order SVU after her daughter's birth - that she could no longer watch episodes that featured children. I didn't get it then. I get it now.

I try to translate that agonizing anguish to something good - I've been donating the hell outta my paycheck to UNHCR lately.

8 years ago @ The Toast - The Wife of Bath's Pro... · 1 reply · +24 points

Oh, Wife of Bath, you can come to my parties anytime. You sound like a hell of a lotta fun.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +2 points

I have(had) endometriosis starting at the age of 19, and I had four laparoscopies for it - 3 in 1998, and 1 in 2000. The last one fixed it. I had to go to the best surgeon in the world (who has retired, unfortunately) to get it resolved, but it WORKED. I was in so much pain before the last one that I was very seriously considering having a hysterectomy - at age 20.

I'm now 37, still have all my lady bits, and had two children with no issues.

Ask me anything. :)

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 3 replies · +25 points

That Johnny Depp campaign -- so wrong. Much clueless. Also, I'm pretty sure that Stephen Colbert permanently owns that audio of an eagle screeching. I burst into laughter when I heard it.
http://www.dior.com/beauty/en_us/minisite/th/dior...

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