en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/315072 Comments by wyliekat http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/08/when-you-know/#IDComment26813656 This is better. This is you relying on your gut. The gut ain't always right, but the gut learns from past experience, and it gets smarter as life goes on. Good on ya, sister. Thu, 9 Jul 2009 20:38:37 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/08/when-you-know/#IDComment26813656 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#IDComment26472765 Honestly, I'd say you're dealing less with the concept of being a married mother than you are being a remarried mother. The stakes are so much higher the second time around. You've got the fear of committing and finding out after the fact that it's all wrong, or it's gone sideways or he becomes someone else. You have these fears because you've experienced it. You can understand that love is risky in an intellectual way, but this? This is visceral. The fear, the love, the wanting, the denial of want - all of it is based on your prior experience of going from family of three to family of two, with you at it's head. It's a nightmarish struggle to get used to being the head of the household, and once you've succeeded, you're reluctant to get into anything that means you may have to learn it again. But love is, like anything, a leap of faith. You are either in it with both feet and your whole heart, or you're not. There is no straddling both worlds, and trying will only hurt everyone involved. Leaps of faith are about doing things or believing in things that are against reason, against rational logic and against what you've learned in the past about pain and risk. That's why it's a leap, and that's really what faith is. Do, or do not - there is no try. (Thank thee, yoda) Mon, 6 Jul 2009 16:02:59 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#IDComment26472765 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/21/shedding/#IDComment25235247 Forever is a notion we should never consider. Human brains aren't meant to understand it, because we try to quantify it - and quantifying forever is a good way to make things seem either boring or scary or scarily boring It's the emotional/mental equivalent to standing at the edge of the precipice and staring down into it to imagine what it'd feel like to jump. Nobody and nothing lasts forever, and not too many people are going to jump from the precipice. Tue, 23 Jun 2009 18:58:41 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/21/shedding/#IDComment25235247 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/05/31/on-quitting-your-day-job/#IDComment22983741 You have my wishes. Most definitely. Mon, 1 Jun 2009 13:54:07 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/05/31/on-quitting-your-day-job/#IDComment22983741 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/05/27/unexpected-reality/#IDComment22637695 Isn't it awful how your ex can make something seem dirty that really isn't? Don't forget, he has NO RIGHT to say anything to you about how you run your household or who you introduce to your lad. It's about him emphasizing what you might already feel guilty about - and sister? This is single mama life you're living. Men will happen. Fri, 29 May 2009 20:40:45 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/05/27/unexpected-reality/#IDComment22637695 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/05/21/our-new-leaf/#IDComment22048738 I sensed that your blog was taking off in that direction - I wish you everything you need to keep this going and make your living from it. Fri, 22 May 2009 15:05:41 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/05/21/our-new-leaf/#IDComment22048738 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/05/19/the-non-date-that-wasnt/#IDComment21928230 Sistah, you're just cruel. ;-} Wed, 20 May 2009 20:34:54 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/05/19/the-non-date-that-wasnt/#IDComment21928230 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/23/single-mom-dating-zen-lions-tigers/#IDComment19812507 I don't want to enter the contest, since others would have more use out of the giveaway than I, but I'll say what I like is a big ol' dog. Fiercely loyal, committed to his pack, protective of his home and loving until the ends of the earth. Dog in the bedroom also equals Good. ;-} Fri, 24 Apr 2009 15:27:34 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/23/single-mom-dating-zen-lions-tigers/#IDComment19812507 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/21/when-it-rains/#IDComment19649579 Rosebud's dad was the editor of the school paper when I was a newb to the college. He made a presentation in our class and I was lost. But now I'm found. ;-} Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:34:32 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/21/when-it-rains/#IDComment19649579 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/20/out/#IDComment19561791 I was hiding for a long time, too. I've only recently started copping to where I live. Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:06:58 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/20/out/#IDComment19561791 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/19/clearing-the-mr-man-air-morgan-siler/#IDComment19490748 I guess that's the drawback to blogging for a larger audience - you'll always have folks who are there seemingly for spite, or to hold you accountable. Still and all, as I've said before - I think you made the right decision regarding Mr. Man, and anyone who disagrees should seriously consider fretting their own life a little more. Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:39:34 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/19/clearing-the-mr-man-air-morgan-siler/#IDComment19490748 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/15/missing/#IDComment18807298 I won 't be having another. In some ways, I'm very sad about this. But in other ways, I realize that I have the gift of two, beautiful healthy girls. I may have only made one of them, but I have them both. Buddy had a vasectomy a lot of years ago, so that door is closed. Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:29:19 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/04/15/missing/#IDComment18807298 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/31/you-had-me-at-hell/#IDComment18023767 Dang. That there is quality hate mail. It fills all the categories: 1) Nonsensical? Check. 2) Incoherent? Check. 3) Filled with incomprehensible and blinding rage? Check. 4) Holier than thou? And thou, and thou, and thou over there? Check. 5) Forces the reader to wonder how many idiots populate the internet? Ooooh, check. Sigh. Thu, 2 Apr 2009 15:11:43 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/31/you-had-me-at-hell/#IDComment18023767 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/27/single-mom-friday-zen-ii/#IDComment17706065 Wow - that's a beautiful post, both in content and visuals. So well done! Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:35:53 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/27/single-mom-friday-zen-ii/#IDComment17706065 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/26/single-and-fabulous/#IDComment17631940 You stay out of it? I think it would be an interesting point to discuss. I say that knowing that single parents who have not been "unsingled" have a harder go of it than those of us with supportive partners. But some of the realities remain� the same, you know? Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:31:04 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/26/single-and-fabulous/#IDComment17631940 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/26/single-and-fabulous/#IDComment17631473 I was unsingled before I made the list - but I gotta think it counts that I am still not parenting my child with her father. No? Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:20:24 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/26/single-and-fabulous/#IDComment17631473 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/24/my-dream-bo/#IDComment17512509 I dreamed of a daughter all through my life - I never dreamed of a son. I guess we should rely on our dreams a little more, from time to time. Somedays, I think I've always given birth to her, in whatever incarnation I've had. And I'm not even sure I believe in reincarnation. Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:38:20 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/24/my-dream-bo/#IDComment17512509 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/22/fiesta-fiesta/#IDComment17451589 Dear lord, I was serving Sangria right out in the open at both girls' birthday parties last summer. I think my visitors would've been appalled if I'd offered them nothing stronger than soda. Mon, 23 Mar 2009 18:08:38 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/22/fiesta-fiesta/#IDComment17451589 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#IDComment16807530 Oh boy, does it hurt. It just rips your guts out. Thu, 12 Mar 2009 13:33:10 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#IDComment16807530 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#IDComment16771635 FWIW, Rosebud has done this to me more than once, the cry for her father. She uses it whenever things in her environment are not exactly as she likes it. But then, Our Lady of Daycare has informed me that Rosebud cries for *me* when things aren't exactly to her liking at daycare - so I think it's a bit of a manipulation, coupled with her cute little notion that the grass is invariably greener where she isn't. Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:46:14 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#IDComment16771635