en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/13925152 Comments by vividshivers http://the-toast.net/2016/07/01/go-on-get-out-of-here/#IDComment1025121984 noooo this is the saddest day on the Internet, I will miss everyone here, from editors to commenters <3 much love to everyone and I hope you all just have the most delightful things happen to you from here on out! Fri, 1 Jul 2016 19:53:56 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/07/01/go-on-get-out-of-here/#IDComment1025121984 http://the-toast.net/2016/07/01/a-note-on-the-toast/#IDComment1025104516 TOAST TOAST TOAST FOR PRESIDENTTT Fri, 1 Jul 2016 14:52:22 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/07/01/a-note-on-the-toast/#IDComment1025104516 http://the-toast.net/2016/06/20/link-roundup-595/#IDComment1024278959 100% ditto on both of these as a fellow (new) Coloradan whose Subaru I shall never part from (English major toasties, please don't burn me at the stake for that sentence) Mon, 20 Jun 2016 15:38:40 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/06/20/link-roundup-595/#IDComment1024278959 http://the-toast.net/2016/05/04/how-to-help-your-friend-who-recently-discovered-the-americans/#IDComment1020398489 There should ALWAYS be pelmeni when one is drunk at 2am! I feel your pain. Wed, 4 May 2016 15:59:26 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/05/04/how-to-help-your-friend-who-recently-discovered-the-americans/#IDComment1020398489 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/11/things-i-have-mistaken-for-friendship-over-the-years/#IDComment1018947872 Me too! That's basically how friendships are formed, right? Whether or not they progress beyond that one commonality is another thing, but random things in common: basically how people friendship! Mon, 11 Apr 2016 16:37:42 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/11/things-i-have-mistaken-for-friendship-over-the-years/#IDComment1018947872 http://the-toast.net/2016/04/06/how-to-really-make-friends-as-an-adult/#IDComment1018553732 Me too! Like, one of my dear friends and my sister have both described doing this before. And I just cannot imagine it! How does that work, even? How do you not immediately get turned down and then explode into a firey (sp?) ball of embarrassment? Somebody knows something I don't, I think, about this. Wed, 6 Apr 2016 23:19:51 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/04/06/how-to-really-make-friends-as-an-adult/#IDComment1018553732 http://the-toast.net/2016/04/06/how-to-really-make-friends-as-an-adult/#IDComment1018553653 oh noooo can't I join a sport where I can suck at it and people will still like me Wed, 6 Apr 2016 23:17:52 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/04/06/how-to-really-make-friends-as-an-adult/#IDComment1018553653 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/05/womens-outdoor-gear/#IDComment1018437226 This is what I don't get. How do they see the dark colors selling out, the pinks go untouched...and then conclude, "well, clearly women didn't WANT any gear!" no, you just misjudged your market, and didn't buy enough in the colors that women *actually* want, and so when they went to look they had nothing they could purchase! Tue, 5 Apr 2016 16:45:01 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/05/womens-outdoor-gear/#IDComment1018437226 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/05/womens-outdoor-gear/#IDComment1018436582 Yep, me too! which is the redeeming factor to me in all this I guess Tue, 5 Apr 2016 16:34:40 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/05/womens-outdoor-gear/#IDComment1018436582 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/05/womens-outdoor-gear/#IDComment1018436555 Saaaame.... Tue, 5 Apr 2016 16:34:01 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/05/womens-outdoor-gear/#IDComment1018436555 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/05/womens-outdoor-gear/#IDComment1018436292 Same! I'm firmly in plus size territory, and love running around outside and up mountains. According to the marketers, though, this is impossible: you can't be LARGE and a WOMAN and HIKE REGULARLY, those things are completely in contradiction! And like teenybuffalo, for a long time this just meant wearing shapeless awful men's things that made me feel weird and unkempt. Or clothes that absolutely did not fit the task at hand. But finally, every once in a while, I can find clothes that fit me, now. But they're never pink. Small women wear pink, say the marketers; large women are not allowed to wear pink, because they're not delicate enough. No flowers for me. Equivalent choices for everyone in outdoor gear: this is what I long for. Tue, 5 Apr 2016 16:28:38 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/04/05/womens-outdoor-gear/#IDComment1018436292 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017865653 YES exactly. hah! Tue, 29 Mar 2016 19:05:50 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017865653 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017865459 Tbf, this *is* often an indicator that someone gives two craps about you. Or that they have a super exceptional memory, as a standalone quality you never know. Tue, 29 Mar 2016 19:02:59 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017865459 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017865363 omg there is a dude at my work with these eyes and it is SUCH A PROBLEM when we need to work together! what if he slurps up my soul while we work?? Tue, 29 Mar 2016 19:01:48 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017865363 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017865297 *raises hand quietly* I have done this, I am guilty! Mainly because Laconic Person Finally Opens Up was sort of a dream come true, and I was *so excited* about this concept that I could not wait until he got done. Then I was called out on it and now I slap my hand over my mouth and find other ways to show that I am excited, and listening, also! The funny thing is I have now been on both sides of this, once upon a time *I* was the Laconic Person, to a poor dude's great distress, who I had no idea even liked me but *certainly* wanted me to talk. And I remember being quite irritated with his responses, too! To the laconic people of the world: tell 'em off when they hurt your feelings after you've finally decided to share! To the anxious pokers of the world: Hush now, love, you have been given an opportunity and it is time to listen close! Relationships, sometimes I think humans were not well-designed for normal loving communication with each other. Tue, 29 Mar 2016 19:00:53 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017865297 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017864441 yes yes yes this this this =) Tue, 29 Mar 2016 18:49:22 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017864441 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017864162 Actually this whole thread just makes me want to tell everyone everywhere to go read Emily Nagoski at The Dirty Normal, these are actual real phenomena backed up with Science!! Tue, 29 Mar 2016 18:44:46 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017864162 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017864072 Oh definitely, most anxious-attaching people will totally read that as a sign of love. Of course they'll also go crazy trying to figure out your Seekrits but that aside... Tue, 29 Mar 2016 18:43:04 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/29/things-i-have-mistaken-for-a-personality-trait-over-the-years/#IDComment1017864072 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/21/jobs-i-have-had/#IDComment1017222555 As I told my college roommates: It's not passive aggressive. It's aggressive-aggressive. I am telling you directly that I want you to do this thing and it is causing a problem. Exactly what's passive about that? I feel like calling something passive-aggressive is one of many ways to dismiss the needs of women. It's a tone argument writ large. "I don't need to wash my dishes, because you asked me in a way I don't like." wth? like how does that absolve you exactly? Apparently I was supposed to individually, kindly, nicely, ask them to put away their own damn dishes. A sign is faster and easier, and doesn't rely on me standing by the sink every day glaring and tapping my watch. Turns out that takes a lot of work! (fwiw, asking nicely wasn't working either. and I'm not exactly a neat freak. just...college houses, sigh.) I may have some unresolved issues, perhaps. =P Tue, 22 Mar 2016 16:24:31 +0000 http://the-toast.net/2016/03/21/jobs-i-have-had/#IDComment1017222555 https://the-toast.net/2016/03/16/if-justin-bieber-were-my-son/#IDComment1016763562 oh god yes I read your comment and while I had forgotten the exact details of how that happens, the moment I read that my brain immediately went "SPARROW" which maybe does not sound significant to normal people who have brains that remember things from books, but I am not one of those I've only read it once but it is one of my all time favorite books, would second this recommendation hands down (trust that there is SO MUCH MORE to it than that particular horror) Wed, 16 Mar 2016 23:06:21 +0000 https://the-toast.net/2016/03/16/if-justin-bieber-were-my-son/#IDComment1016763562