1,142 comments posted · 3 followers · following 0

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Arizona Senate Committ... · 0 replies · +2 points

Didn't I make a joke about a new American civil war the other day? Somehow, it feels a bit less funny now.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Let's Just Count All T... · 1 reply · +5 points

Is there any money in this? I'll invent a religion and knock out a few sacred books if there's money in it. A religion with lots of marketable holidays that involve inebriation and exchanging expensive presents. I'll not make the same mistakes as Kwanzaa.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Elizabeth Warren Asks ... · 3 replies · +26 points

WARREN: So I think every parent wants to protect their children, and parents should know that all of the credible scientific evidence suggests that modern vaccines are safe, modern vaccines are effective, and modern vaccines are our best chance of protecting our children from diseases that can kill them. Is that right?
SCHUCHAT: That’s right.
WARREN: Thank you.

No, no, no, no, no! I'm sorry, but unless I hear it from the mouth of a white Christian male in a suit on Fox News, it just doesn't count!

And it better be a dark suit. And a tie that's not too fancy.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Alabama Anti-Gay Today... · 1 reply · +7 points

It's happening just like I've always predicted: The next American civil war is going to be over men getting married and Beyoncé's gyrating booty corrupting our youth.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Tea Party Hero Sen. To... · 1 reply · +10 points

Part of me wants to watch the video to verify that, yes, Tom Cotton is that stupid. Part of me doesn't want to watch the video out of fear that The Stoopid might be contagious. Part of me wants tacos.

9 years ago @ Wonkette - GOP Blaming Immigrants... · 0 replies · +4 points

"... each family should make the personal choice that's best for them in terms of which which 19th century killer diseases their PTAs will be sponsoring this year."

When I said "conservatives are trying to drag us back to the 1800s" it never occurred to me that they loved the old killer epidemics as much as white male dominance, implied theocracy and being able to buy and sell pickaninnies. Stitch up your corsets and get those bustles on, ladies! The patriarchs are lookin' to catch some syphilis tonight!

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Florida School Board M... · 0 replies · +4 points

Stand your consecrated ground. Unless it was consecrated by Satan. Or, like, Thor (his name be praised).

9 years ago @ Wonkette - Florida School Board M... · 1 reply · +9 points

You mean I'm not free to hand out copies of Star Wars and practice my Jedi faith?!? Fucking police state! Thanks, Obama!

9 years ago @ Wonkette - President Trump Recall... · 0 replies · +11 points

Where's the web ad for "One weird trick that gives chatty egomaniacs permanent laryngitis"?

9 years ago @ Wonkville - Post · 0 replies · +3 points

I wonder if this is one of those judges with a collection of racist anti-Obama gags that he emails out to his fellow robe-wearers.