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12 years ago @ Wonkette - Whack-A-Mole: Who Will... · 0 replies · +8 points

Often misquoted. What Henry really said was "Bend it like Becket." The knights misunderstood. Anyway, the Archbishop's problem was that he wasn't a mole.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - God: Romney Is 'Accurs... · 0 replies · +4 points

In order to bring in the sheep, our local Baptists printed new versions of the hymnals, substituting Elvis for Jesus in every occurrence. Much more fun. And, besides, we'd all seen Elvis, some in person!

12 years ago @ Wonkette - God: Romney Is 'Accurs... · 0 replies · +7 points

They used approximations in prophecy back then. "When in Rome, neigh like a horse's keester!" - Corinthians 22:3

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Bristol Palin Promises... · 0 replies · +10 points

Wait, doesn't she have a ranchito in Arizona?

I love these fading light stories. Betty Hutton working the cosmetic counter at Macy's. Frank James, a greeter outside a casino in Ft Worth, TX. Sitting Bull, learning to write his name in order to sell autographs. And old Joe McCarthy rambling the dark aisles of Congress, opening doors, looking for TV cameras, in the three years between his censure by Congress and expiring from drink.

Sic semper somebodies ...

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Newt Gingrich Was Lyin... · 0 replies · +2 points

"Catholic" in that they preferred boys, the forerunner of the pederast priests.

Don't half-wit* the equation now.

*Half-Wit: one who realizes a statement is inaccurate but not that it was intended so.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Newt Gingrich Was Lyin... · 3 replies · +14 points

Of course it's good, because the Babble says so! Lot was a lot of honorable, like Newt, and that's why the Lord of Hosts sent his emissaries to warn him to avoid the fires coming to his town. But a passel of perps raged outside for the quite natural purpose of raping the guests (since every other male in 100 miles was accounted for already) and Lot, a true chile of the Lord of Hosts, offered his daughters up for the pleasure of the rapists, who declined, because they were Catholics and liked boys.

I don't know why this selection is omitted. It continues with the daughters getting papa sloshed and jumping him one at a time and great noble tribes were thus bornded!

Genesis 19, people. Morality is impossible without your Babble!

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Nikki Haley First Non-... · 1 reply · +3 points

What about that other Indian trying to pass, Tonto? He never voted in any comix I saw.

12 years ago @ Wonkette - Michele Bachmann Const... · 0 replies · +2 points

A long time ago, another comedian name of Mort Sahl, distinguished such prattling as Factual, not Actual, which I take to mean it fit with the prevailing narrative.

13 years ago @ Wonkette - Bob Dylan Poetically T... · 0 replies · -9 points

In my time listening to Bob Dylan, I heard him croon full faith and credit to (1) a psychotic racist Texas serial killer, (2) a vicious triple-murderer considered by some not guilty by reason of race, and (3) a brutal mafia hit man. At what point do I look to the troubled troubador to lead me in moral decisions of any sort? Plus he's one of the Jews for Jesus, and we are only the first...

13 years ago @ Wonkette - REVEALED: Homophobic H... · 0 replies · +9 points

The title of the exhibit is: Gauguin;
Provoking Nuts Since Van Gogh.