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8 years ago @ The Toast - Stores: A Butch Storie... · 1 reply · +113 points

One more comment: I always loved the Toast for being a non-queer specific website with a dedication to publishing queer content on a regular basis, especially about gender and trans things. The amount of butch-affirming stuff on here made my heart sing and made me feel appreciated and attractive and understood in a unique way.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Stores: A Butch Storie... · 2 replies · +43 points

Ah yes yup bingo. I treat the men's section like a NO EYE CONTACT ZONE.

Luckily men seem to treat shopping the way they treat bathrooms: huuuuge personal space zones where everyone politely vacates a rack as soon as someone else starts browsing it because it's weird for dudes to stand too close to each other for problematic masculinity reasons.

I still get the anxiety, like I'm constantly worried someone will just yell "Hey! Imposter! You don't belong here!"

8 years ago @ The Toast - "I Know What Clean Sme... · 2 replies · +27 points

Bleach destroys the scent trails ants use to make those neat (actually: terrifying) lines everywhere. For future reference you can also mix borax and sugar and water to make traps that'll kill em.

Borax traps at the lintels + then wipe out the trails with bleach so they can't find their way back to whatever they were seeking in your house. I used to feel like I was using some Old Magic shit warding my lintels like this. I called myself "Slayer of Thousands (of Ants)"

But seriously fuck ants, there's a tipping point where a certain number become visceral, abject horror even if you're not normally squeamish/bug-averse.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Faithfully LGBT: An In... · 0 replies · +67 points

I'm not religious but I grew up in a Christian family and my parents are deeply involved in it still. I didn't realize how healing it would be to read "Queerphobia in the church is a sin. Denying members of the body of Christ is denying the full image of God."

Thank you, over the lump in my throat.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 1 reply · +11 points

I'm non-binary and my ex-partner was as well. I used to call them my counterpart! Cute and does a nice job, word-wise, of demonstrating how you compliment/take care of each other.

Currently my group of friends and I have taken to referring to date-friends as "your/my/their boo" since it covers both explicitly "dating" as well as "in the initial stages of seeing each other but not official". It's a little cutesy so I'd feel weird using it talking to strangers but among friend groups it's nice slang.

On occasion I've just used "my date" as a noun. It seems a little old fashioned but in a nice way - "Have you seen my date?/My date and I are going for dinner/What time is your date coming?/My date loves ice cream"

8 years ago @ The Toast - Even Lumberjacks Deser... · 1 reply · +17 points

From an non-binary adult, I just want to say thank you. The support you provide for your child will make them grow up secure in knowing they and their gender are lovable. This really got me in the heart. I can't blame my mom too much because "genderfluid" wasn't even a word when I was 8 probably. Her response was to rigorously correct strangers and make sure everyone knew I was a GIRL and try her best to make me adopt feminine appearance markers while I willfully wanted what I wanted, which was to get all the same things my older brother got - boy haircuts, boy clothes. I'm 24 now and believe my struggle with anxiety is partly related to my gender and childhood experiences with it. Long response providing a safe place for your child with their parent to talk about gender and feel accepted you are setting the foundation for them to feel secure and confident everywhere else they go. Thank you.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Even Lumberjacks Deser... · 4 replies · +99 points

I agree, I am an afab non-binary person who passes for a man a lot of the time (especially in a ball cap). Aside from the fear of using public restrooms/change rooms, my biggest frustration when interacting with cashiers or other strangers is when they make a big fuss and change whatever they said after they hear me speak. "Hello sir, what can I get you?" "Burger and fries" "OH MY GOD I am SO SORRY so sorry ma'am WOW THIS IS EMBARRASSING". I don't mind what strangers say as long as they, uh, pick a gender and stick with it. Making a fuss makes ME feel like the embarrassing freak because I'm an introvert who doesn't like elongated stranger interactions in the first place. That's a little different than the question you asked but it seemed relevant re: strangers and ambiguous gender.

For kids, like someone else said - "person" is a good word. "Well, that's just a person like you and me. It's not really polite to comment on a stranger's appearance. How about we smile and say hello instead. You know, (childname), not everyone is a boy or a girl." But in a very normal/everyday tone of voice, not as if it's something scandalous or embarrassing.
If it's an acquaintance, friend, or more personal interaction the person in question will probably have their own answer for the child.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Studio Heads of the Cl... · 0 replies · +6 points

I think the most fascinating part to me was seeing how prolonged and intense exposure to LSD (with some speed thrown in) can warp an entire group's reality. And not just the Manson cult, some of the other famous and not so famous characters doing a lot of substances that were woven in to the story.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Studio Heads of the Cl... · 2 replies · +6 points

I just started YMRT by diving into the Manson episodes last week and HOLY WOW I can't stop yelling at everyone I know to listen to that shitshow of drugs and murders and other completely illogical choices driven by drugs and murders

8 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +3 points

this is my exact experience working at a competitor. My lord, the things baristas have seen. Steamed heavy cream can also kiss my ass. Whole milk has the right fat/liquid content and I'm maaaaybe willing to extend it to half and half but heavy cream is a bridge too far. It's like steaming butter.