gdp's Comments

Wonkette : GOP: Downward Facing Dog Invites Satan To ‘Invade Your Empty Vacuum’

Thu, 6 Jun 2013 16:54:55 +0000

Who needs a vaccuum? [spit!] I clean the trailer by wiping everything down with duct tape. Satan won't be sodomizing me, now will he?

Wonkette : Happy Birthday, Dr. Jill Biden! How Will You Celebrate? Wow, Really?

Wed, 5 Jun 2013 13:53:55 +0000

Which Amtrak? [spit] The slow one that barely gets started and breaks down before it gets anywhere, or the high-speed one that's done before you even noticed until you suddenly find yourself in New York?

Wonkette : Happy Birthday, Dr. Jill Biden! How Will You Celebrate? Wow, Really?

Wed, 5 Jun 2013 13:47:59 +0000

When your penis is a joke, it's time to move on. [spit!]

Wonkette : Brazilian Preacher Arrested After Offering Followers 'Holy Milk' From His Peen (He Meant Sperms) (Up

Tue, 4 Jun 2013 17:34:10 +0000

It's written in the Book Of Peen Suck the throbbing cock, Pastor Picanto will come, To make your life full.

Wonkette : Nice Time! High School Votes Adorbs Guys 'Cutest Couple'

Tue, 4 Jun 2013 15:45:40 +0000

We already have gays in the military, now this. [spit!] What's next, gay actors in the theater?

Wonkette : Nation Remembers N.J. Sen. Frank Lautenberg For Several Minutes Before Commencing Electoral Freakout

Tue, 4 Jun 2013 15:42:36 +0000

C'mon! Real Americans live in Alaska and Wyoming. [spit!] They obviously need representation, seeing as how they are "We the People" and all.

Wonkette : Nation Remembers N.J. Sen. Frank Lautenberg For Several Minutes Before Commencing Electoral Freakout

Tue, 4 Jun 2013 15:35:11 +0000

Does New Jersey even really need two senators? [spit] The place is just a suburb of New York and Philadelphia, with a nasty turnpike running up the middle. [spit] So, everyone there already has representation from the other states. This is how we cut government waste, people! [spit!] Free the people from the burden of excessive government by downsizing the senate.

Wonkette : Steven Seagal Is Your New Dennis Rodman, America

Tue, 4 Jun 2013 15:15:23 +0000

One man's shitty movie is another's epic allegory of the struggle to find meaning in a world driven mad by the alienating omnipresence of consumerism. [spit] I think of Steven Segal's acting choices as constituting a model of authenticity. Fuck yeah! [spit!]

Wonkette : Steven Seagal Is Your New Dennis Rodman, America

Tue, 4 Jun 2013 15:08:54 +0000

I've been working on integrating, leveraging, and optimizing return on the meth market.[spit!] I wonder if there are Russian producers who would profit from my extensive knowledge of the trade. Does Russia have trailer parks?

Wonkette : Thank God This Arizona Republican Was There To Redo Invocation Ruined By Filthy Atheist Secular Huma

Thu, 23 May 2013 14:53:44 +0000

Good to see a lawmaker show some spine. [spit!] And "spine" is an anagram for "penis," so it's all good.

Wonkette : Who Is John McCain Yelling At Now? (Hint: It Is Republicans)

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:47:37 +0000

Fiscal discipline? [spit!] Is that some kind of bondage thing? I didn't know McCain was into that sort of stuff. [spit!]

Wonkette : Nice Time! Arizona State Rep. Gives Secular-Humanist Invocation, Has Not Yet Been Stoned

Wed, 22 May 2013 15:30:15 +0000

Fuckin' muslim! [spit]

Wonkette : With Big Hollywood Feminazi Out Of Kentucky Senate Race, Dems Eye Former Miss America Married To Tot

Wed, 22 May 2013 15:12:06 +0000

Damn dress covers up the tits. [spit!] Don't hide your best feature, girl!

Wonkette : With Big Hollywood Feminazi Out Of Kentucky Senate Race, Dems Eye Former Miss America Married To Tot

Wed, 22 May 2013 14:50:39 +0000

KY! That's how we roll here in the land of lube. [spit!]

Wonkette : Exciting New Book Allows You To Imagine Sexing Michele Bachmann While Freezing To Death

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:16:31 +0000

Needs more dip. [spit!]

Wonkette : Arkansas Treasurer Goes To Jail For Extortion, But The Boring Kind

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:17:48 +0000

None of this matters. The real tragedy is that McDonald's has gotten rid of the Anus Burger. [spit! ] This happened on your watch, Obama!

Wonkette : Republicans Fabricated Smoking Gun Emails They Maybe Illegally Leaked; Forgot To Add Smoking Gun

Fri, 17 May 2013 18:05:49 +0000

Smoking is for wimps. Be a man and go with dip. [spit] Nobody ever worries about a "dipping gun," amirite?

Wonkette : Guest Post From A U.S. Marine About Barack Obama's Shocking And Disgusting Use Of An Umbrella

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:45:23 +0000

LOOK!! I DISCOVERED THIS THING THAT LOCKS THE CAPITAL LETTERS ON MY KEYBOARD!! [spi!t] FUCK YEAH!! NOW YOU KNOW I'M SERIOUS!!

Wonkette : Civil Disobedience Gun March Guy May Not Really 'Get' Gandhi

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:08:33 +0000

Around here, 1,000 people with weapons is what we call a large family gathering. [spit] Or maybe a monster truck rally. [spit]

Wonkette : Haw Haw, Dumb Jerk Barack Obama Cannot Even Stand A Little Rain, What A Dumb Jerk

Thu, 16 May 2013 19:04:57 +0000

The Wicked Witch of the Fuckin' West, yo! [spit]