this talk is, without hyperbole, one of the most inspiring things I've seen in mine adult life and makes me feel strangely optimistic even though I don't intend to ever apply Mallory's experiences to my future plans.

related, Mallory: when are you starting your self-help cult?

now that you mention it, I'm surprised one doesn't already exist.

can I even call myself "an irresistible, compelling, inescapable and sagacious individual of mysterious and indistinct gender" if I am not possessing of cravats of wrongdoing? and yet, what am I if not?

this afternoon of hunting horrifying glyphs has taken a turn.

"I’ve got cravats of wrongdoing and I wear them" is something I should say more often, to myself in the mirror, while I adjust my cravats with nefarious intent

For whatever reason, I seem to be completely capable of dying in my dreams. I die, and then I basically watch the rest of the dream play out like a bored ghost and why can't I just wake up/peace out to the underworld my dream is so boring without me uuugh. Which is to say, my more deadly-feeling nightmares often feel like an eternity of anxiety rather than terror, which is a blessing, or...something.

- I'm driving a car and it's raining but I can't keep my eyes open. Like I can crack them to see every few seconds, but they refuse to stay open, so I can't safely pull over or anything. It's a semi-recurring anxiety dream, and I end up driving for what feels like hours.
- Teddy Kennedy is my friendly neighborhood creep. He creeps on me and offers me Dr. Pepper. No one believes me because it's Teddy Kennedy. One day we are at the same basement-level pool in a rec center or something, and he offers me a Dr. Pepper that is drugged. I spend the rest of the dream groggily running around the rec center trying to avoid Teddy Kennedy but also trying not to alert anyone to the fact that YET AGAIN, Ted Kennedy is trying to kill me
- I'm watching an anthropomorphized wolf have sex with a dead body and because like half the bones are exposed there are a lot more orifices than I'd anticipated (this is an SSRI dream, it's 80% why I don't take SSRIs anymore)

"I’m only being honest, she had tried to explain.

No, you’re not; you’re being cruel."

mallory how did you kNOW???