IntenseDebate - rebootI730

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 0 replies · +3 points

Ohhhhh yeah, that guy.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 14 replies · +5 points

Damn, really? I hope your suspicions prove to be untrue. It is in questionable taste to adopt another race or gender (last week) and pretend like you understand and have experience with that groups issues. Once I could give a pass, twice has the makings of a pattern

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 0 replies · +9 points

Your last paragraph is good advice. The second, I question how much work she should do to try and find him new friends, especially if she is already drained and given that she once liked being around him, but now their interactions are pretty unpleasant for her.

NTT: I would let end of school year work make hanging out with him difficult to impossible. If you are up to it, even tell him you find your time together draining and you need all your energy for school right now. Over summer let whatever you are doing (e.g. work, dissertation, research) be an out. If it is fiscally and logistically possible, find a way to be out of town for field research as much as possible. Then, beginning of next year, after time and possibly distance, has given both of you a recharge/cooling off period, consider reconnecting with M with some new boundaries.

I have been through grad school. April-June is not the time to be having energy drained by a friendship. Come back to it in a new academic year and have new rules for the relationship, if you choose to pick it up again

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Wednesday Open Thread:... · 0 replies · +3 points

My 3 am thoughts are generally pretty terrible. I think of all the refugees that are suffering, how fucking inadequate our resources are, how many people are opportunisticly exploiting the whole situation, how I feel like I am trying to empty a beach one grain at a time, how everything is hopeless and people are horrible, how the world would be better without people, why maybe alien overlords might be an improvement, what I would do if I was the all powerful ruler (there would be much smiting), why I am glad I never had kids, why I am worried for my neice, nephew and youngest cousins, and a bunch of really bad memories. This is why I sometimes prefer being in the field and working at 3 am because you do not have the leisure of thinking beyond your next task.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 2 replies · +11 points

Would you put that much effort into helping out a person like M? How much work would you do to find them alternate social outlets?

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 1 reply · +8 points

Yep, that was me. And a good anecdote to bring into this topic

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 3 replies · +14 points

Rejection is "not even registering as a sexual being" which means we are not quite human and maybe.....shrubbery :)

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 0 replies · +13 points

Yep. If you are bitter and unhappy when you are single, it only hurts you. If you are bitter and unhappy and in a relationship, it hurts your partner. Those feelings do not just magically go away when sex or a relationship happens.

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 2 replies · +10 points

Fundamentally, what would be lost if it never happened for them? On a population level

8 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Ask Dr. NerdLove: How ... · 3 replies · +10 points

And may they continue. If you are that bitter, the world is better with you single

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