Hello my darlings! I can't remember why I feel out of the habit of visiting here but I'm so glad I did today. Every word of that goat article is sublime!
I recommend this Japanese stop-motion artist for miniature delights:
https://www.youtube.com/user/taride008
I've been in a cocoon of minimal daily functioning made satisfactory with lots of embroidery and Netflix so I haven't checked in for a while. Now I'm visiting my family for the first time since Shitscram Christmas and I thought I could adapt my cocoon to this environment - or even emerge - but I was mistaken.
Things are a lot better here now. My dad is healthier than he has been in years and my brother is three months sober, but my mom is struggling with depression (and no wonder) and I still feel like I'm not being seen and heard clearly and I still have a brain injury that limits my energy.
I think my spoons are dollhouse size.
But my niece and nephew are wonderful. My sacred ritual with my almost-8-year-old nephew is to go to a coffee shop and draw. I showed my 3-and-a-half-year-old niece a video of a woman playing a harp outside a castle and she thought it was me. Since it wasn't and I didn't know the harpist's name, my niece declared, "her name is The Other [Pseudonymica] and she lives in that castle."
My version of "maybe that can be okay" is "so, that happened" or, in the midst of it, "well, this is happening." I cannot and will not turn a blind eye to so many things that make me angry, but I've been trying to acknowledge stuff with less passion. It helps. Sometimes. To varying degrees. It reminds me that I can't control everything but better things can also happen another time, maybe with my help.
A horror musical! That explains why I kept running back to that park with all the fountains and colonnades and choreographed dancing in the dream where the woman with the unfortunate face I embroidered was feeding soup to similarly grotesque quadruplets! Damn you, unconscious and shadow! Stop cackling! It isn't funny!
I hadn't seen the female pain article and it's breathtakingly so true so thank you for sharing it (along with all of these other riches). The idea of having a different baseline for pain/pleasure/normalcy brings light to the mystery that unfolds every time I go to physical therapy and realize that another part of my body has actually been in pain for an indeterminate amount of time and I just wasn't paying attention to it because ...I mean, I felt like I was already making everyone uncomfortable and being a hypochondriac drama queen about my headaches and cognitive problems...and it's not severe pain. Just the usual...
YES, that playlist! Have we already discussed the Svetlanas? I can't remember who that was here. If not, I can definitely recommend a song by them. Quiet by Milck (which I heard on Samantha Bee) is a good one.
The style isn't for everyone but my favorite Done with this Shit sister in arms is the band Rasputina. They have a cover of You Don't Own Me and various empoweringly disdainful songs such as The Olde Headboard.
I have to think about more.
I'm just here to a snicker about "Duder McAlabasterSoftHands and the Jacked Up Muscle Truck." I hope everything works out in your favor with minimal complications.
Thank you so much for sharing your strategies. I've been in a similar state since December. I have an appointment with a new therapist tomorrow! I'm proud of myself for getting that going and looking forward to having a professional ally.
To want more...that's an epiphany for me. I'm going to try it. Thank you!
I love you all. Sorceress Lady of Shalott stitching liberation piques my imagination like nothing else AND it's a reasonably attainable goal for me. (Unlike almost everything else right now).
![[Avatar]](/images/avatar26.png){kind=avatar}
Branch