petehammer

petehammer

100p

535 comments posted · 7 followers · following 0

470 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Here's the Complete, H... · 0 replies · +8 points

"Ta-he, ta-he"
"Daddy, it's 'the'"
"Thanks, honey. 'The big blue fish swam upst-re-am, ups-tram'"
"'upsteam.'"
"Thanks, honey."

471 weeks ago @ Wonkette - NJ GOP Candidate Not S... · 5 replies · +82 points

To be fair, his wife is a whore in the bedroom...

...

... just not his.

Note: save some money, she has coupons in this Sunday's paper.

471 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Raging Feminist Herman... · 2 replies · +10 points

You misunderstand him. It's not the "government’s role or anybody else’s role to make that decision" to rape his daughter or granddaughter.

10-to-1 that's is how this is spun by the Godfather.

472 weeks ago @ Wonkette - Unimaginative Loser Jo... · 1 reply · +12 points

"As a result, he could have gone to court and sought a modification of his child-support obligations, though he didn’t take that official step"

That would be the ONLY step you could take.

"As a result, I could have taken the driving test and gotten my license in order to drive, though I didn't take that official step."

"As a result, I could have gone to law school and passed the bar in order to become a lawyer, though I didn't take that official step."

Let's not call it an "official" step. Let's call it the ONLY step. He relied on a quote-unquote verbal agreement to modify a $117,000 court order? Either he's a giant liar or incredibly dumb.

Which one is it?

477 weeks ago @ Wonkette - The Entire Republican ... · 2 replies · +10 points

Rentboy, rentboy, rentboy, muslim socialist, muslim socialist, rentboy, rentboy, rentboy, muslim socialist.

Muslim socialist! Rentboy, rentboy.

(Note: Bachmann did not ask for a rentboy, as this is the duty of the husband... or so she has been told).

479 weeks ago @ Wonkette - All We Heard Was 'Scot... · 3 replies · +16 points

Fehrnstrom is a classic combination of German words that we don't have a very exact definition for. I guess the closest is the feeling when you try so hard to poop - you're sitting and grunting, etc - that you end up pissing in your own face. It's more eloquent in German, but you get the gist of it.

Example - I was so focused on racing my bike that I ignored the red light and ended up Fehrnstroming myself on a truck.

479 weeks ago @ Wonkette - All We Heard Was 'Scot... · 3 replies · +15 points

What's not to like? They give you a joke, FOR FREE, in the title!

480 weeks ago @ Wonkette - 50 Richest Members of ... · 0 replies · +11 points

Well, the reason Issa can sell so many car alarms is because he's creating so much demand.
http://crooksandliars.com/susie-madrak/rep-darell...

Kerry's gotta get out there and label other condiments/Hunts as poison. Maybe break into people's house and destroy their existing ketchup supply.

480 weeks ago @ Wonkette - 50 Richest Members of ... · 0 replies · +8 points

SO TRUE. Someone with $200 million can clearly understand the plight of a poor or middle class person because his wealth encompasses them as well. Same as when you have a good steak and immediately know what a McDonalds hamburger tastes like. But how could John Kerry ever understand what it is like to be Richard Branson?

Richard Branson, I weep for thee.

480 weeks ago @ Wonkette - 50 Richest Members of ... · 0 replies · +11 points

Chop shops ain't payin' what they used to.