gdp's Comments

The Toast : We Are Closing The Toast July 1st

Fri, 13 May 2016 13:56:14 +0000

Fuck. Well, at least I can always take to the sea. If nothing else, I'll always have that.

The Toast : Christian Youth Group Covers Of Popular Songs That It's Hard To Believe Don't Yet Exist

Mon, 4 May 2015 18:09:58 +0000

When I was in HS (at an awful garbage evangelical school), a kid did a solo acoustic cover of Bush's "Glycerine" rewritten as "Crucified" at chapel. Just a boy in a plaid flannel shirt with a 90's center-part butt cut in a folding chair at center court, voice cracking and missing chords, with the whole school looking on, cringing. It was glorious.

The Toast : Memorable Passages From Teen Angels, A 1996 Series About Teens Who Were Also Angels

Mon, 6 Apr 2015 16:26:36 +0000

It is the Most Teen Thing to cancel out your entire life in front of you by snapping your neck and have your only lament be "’I'm never playing pro tennis now, that’s for sure."

The Toast : Songs From A Steely Dan Album Where No One Cheats At Cards

Thu, 26 Feb 2015 21:09:13 +0000

"Catherine, I Dislike You"

The Toast : Dad Magazine: February 2015 Edition

Wed, 11 Feb 2015 15:14:12 +0000

roll. dam. tide.

The Toast : Songs You'll Never Hear On A Sufjan Stevens Album

Mon, 10 Nov 2014 17:04:50 +0000

please, no speaking ill of our nation's greatest holiday, Casimir Pulaski Day.

The Toast : On Halloween, Nigerian Parents, and Bible Man

Fri, 31 Oct 2014 16:36:11 +0000

Bibleman references make me want to watch Charles In Charge.

The Toast : The Ur-Dad Story

Thu, 9 Oct 2014 14:51:16 +0000

My dad has looked 42 years old since he was 17. He is now 62. It's unnerving, actually.

The Toast : The Toast Is A Business That Makes Money

Wed, 1 Oct 2014 19:17:29 +0000

Not that anyone needs my validation or confirmation but I couldn't agree more with this.

The Toast : Man Escapes Well-Deserved Fire

Thu, 25 Sep 2014 15:47:42 +0000

not all Canadian pig farmers

The Toast : Sorry, But We Are Not Accepting Criticism At This Time

Fri, 19 Sep 2014 14:51:45 +0000

Well actually as I a man I feel that you really ought- [killed by mob]

The Toast : "I Went to the Woods So I Could Steal Candy From Children": The Maine Hermit Is A Terrible Hero To H

Wed, 3 Sep 2014 14:21:04 +0000

This article is a valuable weapon, to be deployed on Facebook, in the never-ending War On Stupid Bullshit In My Facebook Timeline.

The Toast : Share Your Greatest Dirtbag Moments

Thu, 31 Jul 2014 17:15:41 +0000

hi nick

The Toast : Share Your Greatest Dirtbag Moments

Thu, 31 Jul 2014 14:47:13 +0000

Fun fact - the guy next to me is named Zach Morris.

The Toast : Share Your Greatest Dirtbag Moments

Thu, 31 Jul 2014 14:37:30 +0000

When I was 16, before I got my license, I stole my dad's car from the airport bus shuttle lot while he was out of town and proceeded to drive around with my friends (SOME OF WHOM ACTUALLY HAD CARS, WHY WERE WE DOING THIS) on a Friday night and managed to end up sliding sideways down a hill through a string of front yards and straightened out just in time to crash into a tree. No photographic evidence available. Then this happened in college, not sure if it qualifies as brotastic or dirtbaggish or both or neither. Your author sits in the back right, sporting an unfortunate dirtbag chinstrap beard: <img src="http://i.imgur.com/OvuAp15.jpg">

The Toast : Share Your Greatest Dirtbag Moments

Thu, 31 Jul 2014 14:28:19 +0000

SIXTH GRADE DIRTBAGS - hardcore delinquents shown here sticking it to The Man. Humble author at far right. <img src="http://i.imgur.com/AQswInr.jpg">

The Toast : Yeah, Nicole and Mallory Got Our Auras Read. Wanna Fight About It?

Tue, 29 Jul 2014 18:06:45 +0000

I have never wanted to go to Sedona, or anywhere, and get my Aura Report more than I want to do at this very moment.

The Toast : Every Canadian Novel Ever

Tue, 22 Jul 2014 20:56:29 +0000

Go Away I'm Afraid He Can't Come to the Line As He's Dead Catherine, I Dislike You You're Aware That I'm Slightly Hearing Impaired? We're All Vexed With The Bloomsbury Set My Uncle Was Quite Fond Of The Queen Mother You Have Stolen My Flatware

The Toast : How To Watch Silent Movies (If You Want To)

Thu, 19 Jun 2014 18:09:07 +0000

wait... are you suggesting pizza is...bad?

The Toast : Ayn Rand, Cat Fancier

Wed, 11 Jun 2014 15:50:35 +0000

"I'm in this weird place where I agree with many of the principles of her philosophy (A human being is entitled to demand fair recompense for their labour! It is best if you help yourself, and don't demand others help you! It is OK to be selfish with your time, energy and money!) but when you actually get deeper I think it is a morally bankrupt one." I think this is a perfectly normal place to be in, especially with the latter following the former. It's what separates us from the animal kingdom, or haughty college libertarians.