When you say affirmative action isn't inherently fair, it made me think of a "character pillar" we have been working on with our kids at camp. Things aren't always equal and fair. Some things are equal and totally unfair, and the definition of fair can be different for different people. Affirmative actions isn't fair just as some of the situations that people have to deal with are unfair. Is it fair that a child is born to a single mother who can't afford to send her child to the best schools? Is it fair that they will have to work forty hours a week to pay for college? People have to deal with many different situations and affirmative action tries to level the playing field. Do you feel that nepotism is fair? Is it better to get a benefit because of your physical characteristics or because of who you know? People who are similar are more likely to make connections. This helps the rich stay on top and the poor stay on the bottom. As a white female in the middle class, it is possible for me to benefit largely from this program. I hate to sound selfish, but when it benefits you personally it is much easier to accept it.

Before I really knew what Affirmative action was, I had the same idea as everyone else. I was concerned that I would have a harder time to get into college as well as getting scholarship money. I thought of affirmative action being beneficial to people of color. I did not even think to look at the benefits that white women have received because of it. When Prof. Sam said that most women at Penn State would not be here if it weren't for affirmative action, I began to realize how little I know about affirmative action. It blew my mind that white women were those most likely to benefit from this program. It made me think of something I had seen earlier today. I work at a summer camp, and during sports and rec we played knock out, which is a basketball game where two people have basketballs and shoot at the same time, trying to make it in before the other person and get them out. A boy and a girl were playing against each other and the boy, not wanting to loose, knocked the girl's ball away. While he was trying to shoot, the counselors stopped him from being able to shoot until she got her ball back and took a couple of practice shots. She would have most likely been out right away if no one had stopped the little boy from making a basket while she was gone. They were trying to even out the opportunity for the girl so she had just as much of a chance as the boy to win the game of knock out. This example seemed to demonstrate a similar idea. Prof Sam also talked about nepotism, where jobs are obtained because of connections that were made. I live in a small town, so mostly everyone knows everyone. At the very least they know someone that knows them. I have had four major jobs at home, and all were acquired because I knew someone who knew someone else. I was a waitress for five years at a restaurant that my parents owned and worked for my mother at her store. I also got a job at a state funded summer camp (mentioned above) which my older sister had worked at the summer before. My aunt also worked in the district and knew the people doing the hiring. I may have gotten these jobs otherwise, but the people I knew and the position I was in ensured me that I got the job. Because I felt so inept at securing my own position, I applied for a job this summer where I knew no one and had no connection to, just to prove I could do it. Even with A.A. nepotism is the system that most often ensures jobs and promotions. Connections are important.

I thought the roommate example was very interesting as well. While Sam used the example from the perspective of who would you rather live with, it helped me look at immigrants in a new way as well. I do not have my parents' help at school with my bills. Therefore, I have to work hard for my money while still handling a full course load. I lived with three other girls who had no concern about money what so ever and could spend what would be my full month's allowance in one day on shoes. It would sometimes take me a little longer to pay the bills than it took the other girls because they could go to the atm and use daddy's bank card. I had to wait for my next paycheck to come through or avoid eating for the next week. Being on the other end of that spectrum I can sympathize with the other side.

Immigration has a bad rap for a lot of people in the United States. Practically the only time we really hear about immigration is around election time as well as when something negative has happened. It has even come to the point that certain people simply make up things about illegal immigrants. There was a governor that claimed that there were illegal immigrants beheading people along the border. She ran on the point that she was going to stop immigrant beheadings. When further investigated, it was found that no beheadings along the border had been reported and that this idea had been completely made up. Even so, she was elected as the governor. People have such a great hatred for something they know nothing about that they will believe anything. When I took soc 005, we also talked about immigration. Some of the top reasons people don't like immigrants, when looked into further, don't really have any evidence to back up their claims. One of the major themes we talked about was how immigrants increase the crime rate, as well as the fact that they do not assimilate into our culture. In fact, it would be better for the US if immigrants did not assimilate to our culture. As stated in lecture, while about 20 percent of first generation immigrants speak English, by second generation it increases to about 80 percent and third and above are around 90 percent. From a crime perspective, first generation immigrants are the least likely to commit crime (illegal immigration aside). The more immigrants assimilate into our culture, the more likely they are to commit crime! The biggest reason it seems to me that we think the things we do about immigrants is because of what the media says. Whenever something happens that an illegal immigrant is involved in, everything is blown out of proportion. It reminds me of how for a long time, most people thought of pedophiles as gay men. They figured that a homosexual man was more likely to take advantage of little boys because most people were already skeptical about homosexuals. The interesting thing was that the most likely perpetrator is the outwardly straight man who is close to the family, like the dad, uncle, or close family friend. It is more likely a person who on the outside appears to be a "stand up citizen." The same thing is true for immigrants. They get blamed for our problems because then we don't have any part in the bad things that are happening in our country. It is not our fault, it is theirs. It is easier to point the finger at someone else than it is to point it at yourself.

It is a very interesting debate to think if being raised in a homosexual household makes you more or less likely to be gay or face ridicule. Even if you may be more likely to get picked on at some point in your life, if your parents love you then it will not matter. A child in a gay household has just as great or a greater chance at success as any other child, especially one in a impoverished household. The process of adoption is long and tedious, as well as expensive. Kids are not allowed to be adopted by just anyone. Also, with a homosexual couple, it is not as if a couple can get pregnant on accident. There are no unwanted accidents. The couple has to make a strong decision and really stick to it to be even given the chance to raise a child. I think that a gay couple has just as much right as a straight couple to receive the benefits of marriage, adoption, and everything else that a straight couple is entitled to.

In the lecture when Sam was talking about how Americans don't seem to want to embrace other cultures and hide themselves in an American bubble, I thought of one of my very best friends who is currently in Italy. She has been there for the past 8 weeks and will be staying for two more weeks. She went over for a six week program and literally fell in love with it. She was supposed to return to the states after her class was finished, but she instead traveled around Italy for two weeks and then decided to stay with her friend she had met at his and his parents' house. She loves being there, has decided to change her major to Italian, study next summer there as well, and move there after she graduates. When skyping with her the other day, I asked her about the language barrier. For me, learning a second language was one of the most difficult things I have ever studied in my academic career. I have a very difficult time understanding what people are saying, and it is nearly impossible for me to feel comfortable saying anything, especially in front of someone who natively speaks that language. She told me that often times, when the boys get speaking too fast and she looses track of what they are saying, she just tunes it out until they calm down or switch back to English. I thought of this while watching the lecture because it is yet another example of an American staying in her comfort bubble. Even though she is so intent on becoming a part of the culture that she wants to change her major and move there, she still does not make an attempt to listen to her friends unless they are speaking her native language. I feel it would be a much better idea to teach two languages to children as they progress through elementary school. Studies have shown that it is incredibly easier to teach a child a foreign language compared to even a high school student, let alone an adult. We were also talking about how we expect people to speak clear english with no accent so we can understand them. I am not racist and I am completely 100% sure of that. I have no angry or degrading feelings towards someone different from me due to their race. I do, however, have a terrible time with people who speak with a heavy accent. I was talking to Gibby, the grandma on our lake, about how difficult it is for me to learn another language. She mentioned a person she worked with who could not wait on anyone who had even the slightest of accents. I feel the same way. It is nothing against anyone with an accent. I just seem to have a terrible time understanding them and therefore avoid them when possible. I know this is somewhat of a cowardly escape, but I don’t really know what else to do.

So are you saying that racism will never change? I agree with you that most of the time when you run into a racist, they have deep ingrained hatred or ignorance. They are obviously not really thinking very logically to outright believe that something so biologically insignificant would have such a large effect on the person. Even so, ignorance is often times the biggest problem. Most people who are racist or homophobic have mostly just not had enough exposure. My roommate last year was slightly racist in the fact she said she would never, ever date a black man. She claimed they were all ugly and that they have a funny smell. At the same time, she grew up in a wealthy white neighborhood with very limited diversity and exposure. While she is being unreasonable, she is also very underexposed. She can say she would never date a black man easily because the opportunity has never presented itself. Sometimes a little exposure can really open someone's eyes and take them out of their racist tendencies.

At one point in this lecture, the debate of homophobia vs racism came up. There were some very interesting points raised that sparked my interest. First of all, someone mentioned that you can easily hide that you are gay, but there is no way to hide your skin color. This point was followed by yes, you can be in the closet when you are gay but that is not who you truly are. When you are gay you always have to second guess yourself and figure out which situations it is appropriate to be gay and when it isn't. Following that, a young black man said he felt he had to sensor himself as well, that he couldn't be openly "black" at an interview because he wouldn't get the job. He said he couldn't wear a sideways hat and talk in a certain way or he would not get a call back. To him that was the same kind of hiding yourself as not being able to come out about your sexual orientation. To be honest, I would never be able to go into an interview as a white woman dressed in shorts and a sweatshirt. There is a certain dress code for interviews that has nothing to do with race. As the discussion progressed, someone else asked if anyone would want being black to be something that they can cover up or hide in certain situations. Even though all of these students had been making a fuss about how much easier it is to be gay, no one raised their hand. I do not think of myself as a homophobic person in the slightest. I don't judge a person on whether they are gay or straight. I care more about if they are fun to be around and if I enjoy their company. One couple I knew that my parents were friends with I absolutely hated, and yet one of my best friends is flamboyantly homosexual. I am not sure what stage I would be classified in, or if this is an ignorant thing to say, but personally I do not think it should matter. I don't think it should be anyone else's business, nor should there be any discrimination because of it. I also think it is interesting to compare it to being black, because both groups face similar struggles. Even though they both have to deal with discrimination and hate, it does not necessarily inspire unity between the two groups. As Sam mentioned, it would seem people of color would be more sympathetic to homosexuality because they are a minority and have to struggle against the masses. Knowing what they and their families went through it would seem to me they would be inspired to fight for equal rights.

When talking about disabled people and how we don't think about our whiteness, it brought up some interesting thoughts for me. Like said in the lecture and above, we don't think about things that don't seem to have a huge effect on our every day life. If we are "normal," we don't really think about how it would be for us any other way. I had never really thought about how difficult it would be at Penn State with a physical handicap. This past spring break I ended up breaking my ankle and had to spend six weeks on crutches. It was absolute hell, especially the first two weeks. There is so much more effort involved in going to class. Everything takes 3 times as long, and you have to get to know the buildings you have classes in ahead of time to figure out which entrances to use that are closest to the elevator and your classes. I also had to plan out every part of my day to make sure I could fit in the other things I did. While I used to walk all over campus, I had to plan my routes so I could catch the bus or a ride or make sure I hit every place I had to along the way so I didn't have to back track. I never really realized how helpful my legs were in every single aspect of my life until I could only use one of them.

What was talked about in these lectures really hit home for me. I would not want to consider myself racist and I would never want to offend anyone. I am somewhat in the stage of white guilt. I don't want to talk about it much because most of the time when I do try to say anything I will say something ignorant. When I don't know anything about a subject I don't want to say anything because I will most likely say something wrong. That is just my personality. It doesn't even have to be a touchy subject. I feel if I have nothing that will really add to the conversation I won't say anything, especially if that statement has the potential to offend people. I just don't see it as worth it. I wait out the situation. Probably similar to the story about a person asking for a TA, but not being able to say "the black one." I personally would feel uncomfortable saying that. This makes me think of some habits I have that I sometimes don't even realize. I have the habit of acting similar to the people that I am surrounded by. If I am with a group of people from a certain part of the world that have an accent, I find it incredibly difficult to not attempt at a accent of my own. If i spend too much time with a person who talks in a certain way or say a certain thing all the time, I will start to pick up on that and do it too. I find myself with a person who is a stereotypical "black girl with an attitude," and I really want to call her gurrrrrl and talk like her. It is sort of an attempt on my part to be similar to them and to try to get to know a person better, but more often than not it could be seen as a way of making fun of them or overall being ignorant. After watching this lecture I really do wonder what stage I am in. I am aware of my whiteness and how it effects my life, but I would ideally like to think that it does not have a huge impact on who I am. I am always changing and growing and I know my race will never change. Why does something that I cannot change and have no effect on have the right to influence my whole life? I want to say I am who I am regardless of what color I am, but I have learned that is not true. While my race effects me, I do not really want it to. I don’t want to have to wonder if I got my job because I am white or if I got into the school I got into because I am white. I wouldn’t go so far to say that I am ignoring the issue all together. I just feel that in my life, right here and now, it is not a huge concern for me.