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I learned to listen more than I speak, but also that what I have to say is valuable and I should say it. I learned to be kind, but never bullshit people. I learned to embrace complexity while also holding some boundaries firm.
I also learned that men almost always deserve to be laughed at more often, and I learned how to take more joy and pride in my feminism. I learned how important it is to free myself from having to listen to men.
Most of all I learned that there are so many other strong, beautiful, brilliant, nerdy women in the world, and we are all really different but share so many things too. I've really enjoyed these last three years with you all and I look forward to finding you all again soon.
Hey Hillz, I applied to work for your campaign a few weeks back, gimme a call!
I've also had that same experience before, when during the date itself everything is kind of fine, but then after I get home and reflect on it more I realize there were some red-flaggy moments that I didn't notice in the moment. It's totally fine to change your mind about people!
My main attitude is that I will go on a first date for coffee or a drink with almost anyone who types in complete sentences and seems decent; it's low stakes and I try to use dating apps as an introduction tool more than a compatibility test. But I only go on second dates with people I actually enjoy and want to see again! This results in tons of first dates, which is good practice, and not many second and third ones; but I'd rather not spend my time on people I don't feel an actual spark/connection with. Just being nice enough and not doing anything BAD is not enough to earn more of my time.
There are plenty of "nice enough" dudes out there, and none of them deserve a second date just for being nice enough. You deserve better than this guy!