862 comments posted · 35 followers · following 0

7 years ago @ The Toast - An Open Thread, and Se... · 1 reply · +12 points

The Toast, and the community it has allowed me to access, has been really invaluable to me these last three years. When The Toast started, I had just begun a new job after 1.5 years of unemployment and being a little lost. I had been feeling really stagnant and overwhelmed.

I learned to listen more than I speak, but also that what I have to say is valuable and I should say it. I learned to be kind, but never bullshit people. I learned to embrace complexity while also holding some boundaries firm.

I also learned that men almost always deserve to be laughed at more often, and I learned how to take more joy and pride in my feminism. I learned how important it is to free myself from having to listen to men.

Most of all I learned that there are so many other strong, beautiful, brilliant, nerdy women in the world, and we are all really different but share so many things too. I've really enjoyed these last three years with you all and I look forward to finding you all again soon.

7 years ago @ The Toast - A note on The Toast · 1 reply · +22 points

I haven't even made it into the link roundup yet, I'm barely even awake, but this made me SOB and laugh.

Hey Hillz, I applied to work for your campaign a few weeks back, gimme a call!

7 years ago @ The Toast - Hey Ladies: Take it to... · 0 replies · +3 points

This is horrifying and amazing and absolutely perfect. Caroline and Michelle, you both deserve Nobel prizes. I think I have loved Hey Ladies most of all.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 2 replies · +17 points

I recommend joining toastie twitter, a bunch of us talk about this stuff a lot.

I've also had that same experience before, when during the date itself everything is kind of fine, but then after I get home and reflect on it more I realize there were some red-flaggy moments that I didn't notice in the moment. It's totally fine to change your mind about people!

My main attitude is that I will go on a first date for coffee or a drink with almost anyone who types in complete sentences and seems decent; it's low stakes and I try to use dating apps as an introduction tool more than a compatibility test. But I only go on second dates with people I actually enjoy and want to see again! This results in tons of first dates, which is good practice, and not many second and third ones; but I'd rather not spend my time on people I don't feel an actual spark/connection with. Just being nice enough and not doing anything BAD is not enough to earn more of my time.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Thank You, Toast. · 1 reply · +16 points

Nicole, thank you for everything. You've been a truly invaluable part of the site. I never did get up the nerve to pitch to you here, but maybe someday I'll work up to it, and you will be my first pitch wherever you happen to be editing by then. (Or can I maybe just email it to you anyway if you're not editing anywhere?)

7 years ago @ The Toast - The Negro Motorist Gre... · 0 replies · +17 points

This is fascinating and beautiful. Thanks for writing it and thanks Toast for publishing it.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Paintings Of The Tortu... · 0 replies · +52 points

I really wanted to like this but it's at 69 likes so I'm commenting instead.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Link Roundup! · 0 replies · +29 points

you are not being unreasonable! I've dealt with similar dudes before. IMO, if a man does not even understand why a woman might be reluctant to go to a stranger's apartment, that's a major red flag about his judgment and consideration. I also object to his use of a smiley face in that text, which suggests he is trying to Nice Guy manipulate you.

There are plenty of "nice enough" dudes out there, and none of them deserve a second date just for being nice enough. You deserve better than this guy!

7 years ago @ The Toast - "I saw writing from pe... · 0 replies · +4 points


7 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 2 replies · +15 points

Bartender, will you ever reveal your identity to us??!!!! pleeease?