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6 years ago @ The Toast - Cocktail Hour: Open Th... · 4 replies · +15 points

This is why Captain Awkward says never to ask why someone is breaking up with you! Also not to give reasons when you're doing the breaking up or just asking for something, because it encourages the "what ifs" and negotiation.

I haven't been in your situation, but I have been dealing with more and more rejection recently and the only suggestion I have is to reeeeeeaaaally take his stated reasons with a grain of salt. The story you tell yourself should be "it just didn't work out. He wasn't the right pants for me." Your ADD is just a part of you, not something you can excise, and being in a relationship with you means accepting that. If someone can't do that, they aren't right for you! YOU DESERVE LOVE EVEN IN YOUR IMPERFECT STATE.

Also I've been listening to Männer sind Schweine a lot, it's such a great song.

6 years ago @ The Toast - New Year's Entire Week... · 0 replies · +6 points

I haven't decided if I have reading goals for 2016 yet, but I came here to say that of the 48 books I read in 2015 only two were by men. Maybe my 2016 goal should be *intentional* misandry instead of accidental?

6 years ago @ The Toast - The Best Books You Did... · 0 replies · +6 points

There's a Sarah Beth Durst novel called DRINK, SLAY, LOVE that's *fantastic*. It has nothing to do with EAT, PRAY, LOVE except for the title, but that connection always makes me think of it.

6 years ago @ The Toast - Why Being Solo and Pol... · 0 replies · +10 points

"Yes, lots! ...No, none at all."

7 years ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Cold Fire'... · 1 reply · +9 points

Ooooh, another contra dancer! I've always thought of most forms of dance as a sort of moving meditation—it forces you to focus on your body and the present moment. Though I'm not sure that would have occurred to me if I hadn't read this book!

7 years ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Magic Step... · 0 replies · +3 points

So this was actually my first Tammy book, in 4th grade. I remember being very confused and disturbed by it. I don't think I realized that it was part of a series until at least two years later—a friend encouraged me to read Protector of the Small, which I LOVED and I eventually realized I'd already read a book by that author, hmmm. What's that, Briar and Tris and Daja are *people*? I think all the unmagic and killing was a lot scarier when read outside the context of the series and the rest of Tamora Pierce's books. Here we all know that Sandry's seen some pretty horrific stuff, and we sort of know what Tammy is capable of...

7 years ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Briar's Bo... · 0 replies · +4 points

I went to his event in DC two years ago, and we definitely got fair warning before he told any stories or read anything that might have upset people. When he was telling stories of things that had happened to him, it was all Q&A, so, like, when someone asked what terrible things one or another fandom had done we were prepared for terrible things. He gave "ratings" for the fics he read, and repeatedly warned us about upcoming mental images that might linger like Geekhyena mentioned. I don't know if anyone left in the middle, and I could see how you might feel pressure to stay anyway, but I think Mark would totally understand if you really didn't need to hear past a particular point of no return.

7 years ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Reads 'Briar's Bo... · 1 reply · +6 points

Oh, I think she'd name snowstorms! She just wouldn't tell anyone that she'd named them, let alone *announce* the names.

7 years ago @ Mark Reads - Mark Predicts 'Briar's... · 0 replies · +4 points