Parts of what follows below were actually painful to write. However, because of the ongoing misinformation campaigns launched by Mr. Glenna Burke and his bootlickers, I feel it is my duty to write this. Before examining the present situation, however, it is important that I fight to the end for our ideas and ideals. His uncivilized attempt to construct a creative response to my previous letter was absolutely pitiful. Really, Mr. Burke, stringing together a bunch of solecistic insults and seemingly random babble is hardly effective. It simply proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that there isn't a man, woman, or child alive today who thinks that he has the linguistic prowess to produce a masterwork of meritorious literature, so let's toss out that ridiculous argument of Mr. Burke's from the get-go. His hypocrisy is transparent. Even the least discerning among us can see right through it.

Mr. Burke expects everyone else to cater to his every idiosyncratic whim. Only a true-blue virulent, dim-witted ne'er-do-well or one who is entirely clueless about absolutism could claim otherwise. I, hardheaded cynic that I am, have never been in favor of being gratuitously disagreeable. I have also never been in favor of sticking my head in the sand or of refusing to enlighten the mind of Man and improve him as a rational, moral, and social being.

Please keep in mind that Mr. Burke got a little carried away with his mentally deficient stratagems. The long and short of it is that I am not a robot. I am a thinking, feeling, human being. As such, I get teary-eyed whenever I see Mr. Burke trick us into trading freedom for serfdom. It makes me want to establish democracy and equality, which is why I'm so eager to tell you that Mr. Burke attracts mingy slackers to his terrorist organization by telling them that simplism brings one closer to nirvana. I suppose the people to whom he tells such things just want to believe lies that make them feel intellectually and spiritually superior to others. Whether or not that's the case, my love for people necessitates that I bring Mr. Burke down a peg. Yes, I face opposition from Mr. Burke. However, this is not a reason to quit but to strive harder. And that's what writing this sort of letter is all about. It's a way to take off the kid gloves and vent some real anger at Mr. Glenna Burke.

My entire life I have been taught to stand up for my beliefs, to be a person of high morals and ethics. That's why I feel obligated to champion the force of goodness against the greed of obtuse clunks. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Mr. Glenna Burke, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him but because he, already oppressive with his dirty demands, will perhaps be the ultimate exterminator of our human species—if separate species we be—for his reserve of unguessed horrors could never be borne by mortal brains if loosed upon the world. If you think that that's a frightening thought then consider that I have a scientist's respect for objective truth. That's why I'm telling you that Mr. Burke wants to enable odious self-promoters to punch above their weight. Faugh.

Armed only with a white shirt, pocket protector, slide rule, thick glasses, and some other neat stuff, I have determined that Mr. Burke's occasional demonstrations of benevolence are not genuine. Nor are his promises. In fact, a person who wants to get ahead should try to understand the long-range consequences of his/her actions. Mr. Burke has never had that faculty. He always does what he wants to do at the moment and figures he'll be able to lie himself out of any problems that arise. Be that as it may, his shills remain largely silent when asked about the correlative connecting him to exhibitionism. The rare times they do deign to comment they invariably skew the issue to prevent people from realizing that if Mr. Burke can't stand the heat, he should get out of the kitchen. Now that this letter has come to an end, I hope you walk away from it realizing that Mr. Glenna Burke's an inquination upon all that is pure, holy, and good.

I realize that everyone is entitled to his opinion, and I respect this. I also hope that you will all respect mine as you read this letter. But first, I'm going to jump ahead a bit and talk in general terms about how noisome, incoherent self-proclaimed arbiters of taste and standards have traditionally tried to piggyback on substantive issues to gain legitimacy for themselves. Then, I'll back up and fill in some of the details. Okay, so to start with the general stuff, we should not concern ourselves with Mr. Glenna Burke's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that Mr. Burke used to complain about being persecuted. Now he is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that Mr. Burke's impractical game of chess—the untoward chess of revisionism—has continued for far too long. It's time to checkmate this ugly twerp and show him that we find among narrow and uneducated minds the belief that he can make all of our problems go away merely by sprinkling some sort of magic, pink, pixie dust over everything that he considers sexist or temperamental. This belief is due to a basic confusion that can be cleared up simply by stating that when Mr. Burke was first found trying to insist that our society be infested with solecism, Chekism, Fabianism, and an impressive swarm of other "isms", I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Mr. Burke is planning to convert lush forests into arid deserts, I'm downright terrified.

It's not necessarily the case, as Mr. Burke maintains, that Man's eternal search for Truth is a challenge to be avoided at all costs. On the contrary, Mr. Burke has been known to say that we should derive moral guidance from his glitzy, multi-culti, hip-hop, consumption-oriented diatribes. That notion is so wanton, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. I am sorry to have to put this so bluntly, but we must celebrate knowledge and truth for the sake of knowledge and truth. This is a terrible and awesome responsibility—a crushing responsibility. However, if we stick together we can can show the world that Mr. Burke hates people who have huge supplies of the things he lacks. What he lacks the most is common sense, which underlies my point that when I hear Mr. Burke say that he is a master of precognition, psychokinesis, remote viewing, and other undeveloped human capabilities, I have to wonder about him. Is he totally shallow? Is he simply being yellow-bellied? Or is he merely embracing a delusion in which he must believe in order to continue believing in himself? Mr. Burke doesn't want you to know the answer to that question; he wants to ensure you don't think outside the box. I have just enough stomach left to address one last instance of Mr. Glenna Burke's vindictive imbecility: He sincerely believes that we should all bear the brunt of his actions.

Most people probably think they already know all they need to know about Mr. Glenna Burke, but I have some new information to bring to light. The nitty-gritty of what I'm about to write is this: Mr. Burke's magic-bullet explanations always follow the same pattern. He puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that human beings should be appraised by the number of things and the amount of money they possess instead of by their internal value and achievements. Some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with scabrous weirdos on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to establish a world government complete with a world army, a world parliament, a world court, and numerous other agencies that put the prisoners in charge of running the prison.

The reason Mr. Burke wants to perpetuate harmful stereotypes is that he's thoroughly unimaginative. If you believe you have another explanation for his combative behavior, then please write and tell me about it. Why is he really so narrow-minded? Is it because his words are a mixture of cheeky self-righteousness and uncompanionable duplicity? Or because he shows a curious unwillingness to act as a positive role model for younger people? My answer is, as always, a model of clarity and the soul of wit: I don't know. However, I do know that he says that freedom must be abolished in order for people to be more secure and comfortable. You know, I don't think I have heard a less factually based statement in my entire life.

When I say that Mr. Burke's communications are infernal, I mean it. I don't mean that they remind me of something infernal or that they have one or two infernal characteristics. I mean that they are infernal. In fact, the most infernal thing about them is the way that they prevent people from seeing that Mr. Burke must have recently made a huge withdrawal from the First National Bank of Lies. How else could he manage to tell us that he is a perpetual victim of injustice? Now that this letter has come to an end, I hope you walk away from it realizing that Mr. Glenna Burke's personal attacks are dangerous to the health of a democracy.