en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2453974 Comments by nittanylions2 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/29/voices-from-the-classroom-83/#IDComment231082735 I do not know if I would say that my view on the war has “changed” but Tuesday’s class definitely opened my eyes to a new perspective on it. First of all, I think a lot of people, myself included, forget what the war is about. We see all these headlines about “the war on terror” and the word “terrorist” is repetitive in the press so that is automatically the first thing I think of when I think about the war. I do not really put much thought into it beyond that, but when Sam started talking about resources and how we are in this war for selfish reasons it honestly made me wonder to myself, “what’s the point?” If this were all really about terrorism wouldn’t the troops be home by now since Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein are gone now? I know that the media definitely influences the way people view the war so by them emphasizing the terrorism aspect of it I think a lot of people tend to forget that we are really fighting over resources. The other aspect of this war that I honestly did not think about until Sam mentioned it was what it must be like for the people of those countries. I know that I personally take for granted the fact that I do not have to live in a country where I have to be worried about being caught in the cross fire or bombs going off. When Sam was showing pictures of the average Iraqis it became apparent that they really are just like us. They go out with friends, celebrate weddings, and enjoy spending time with their families. The only difference between us and them is that they have to worry about the safety of their families on a daily basis where as we typically assume, unless a family member is in the military, that they will return home safe from wherever they are. I can only imagine the pain they must go through when they hear about a bomb going or landmine going off in their city. I know how nerve wracking it was when I found out my dad was in New York City during 9/11 and again when he was in the Mumbai area when it was bombed this past summer. I cannot even begin to imagine how different life would be if I lived in Iraq and constantly had to head about things like that and just hope that no one I know was there. I think this is the biggest thing that has given me a new perspective on this war because when you think about the everyday people that have to live through it and not just the soldiers fighting it makes you wonder if the war is really worth it. Thu, 1 Dec 2011 15:10:27 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/29/voices-from-the-classroom-83/#IDComment231082735 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/13/are-you-over-it/#IDComment227442929 I think Eve Ensler’s article about being “over rape” is really interesting because she says a lot of things people are not willing to admit they think as well. I know that I would never say out loud that I am “over rape” but I agree with Ensler’s article and feelings about the matter. Rape is an issue in America that is often over looked and people do not take it seriously. I remember walking through East commons as a freshman and seeing clothes lines of colorfully decorated paper and being intrigued. When I actually read the papers I was slightly offended. It turns out that they were notes about rape. They were from various people, but people who wanted to support women who had been raped and very few from actual victims. I instantly came to the conclusion that most of these people must not know the victims of rape because if they did then they would have never put those notes up. My best friend from home was raped when she was thirteen years old and has to live with that every day. I know that the last thing she would want to see is a bunch of signs up reminding her about it every day for an entire week. I understand that the people wanted to support the victims but such a public display was not the way to do it. Ensler also says she is over the passiveness of good men and I agree with her on that to. When my friend finally told a few of her close guy friends at school their response was “oh I’m sorry that happened to you.” I understand that they did not exactly know how to react but they also did not care to know how much of a problem this has actually caused for her and how much it has affected her life. The part of the article about rape happening in broad daylight also struck a chord with me. My friend who I already mentioned was raped in a public place and I find it hard to believe that no one walked by the ordeal as it was happening. If they did and did not stop it, as frequently happens because people do not know how to react, then there is something seriously wrong with our society. I think it is sad that victims of rape have to feel ashamed and as if they have to hide what happened to them. It is not their fault and it will never be their fault. Once America starts embracing that then maybe they will feel more free to share their experiences and help other women never go through what they did. Sat, 26 Nov 2011 02:52:44 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/13/are-you-over-it/#IDComment227442929 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/10/voices-from-the-classroom-74/#IDComment220722817 I do think that Penn State students are going through the five stages of grief and I have even heard people say that this entire week has been like we are all attending a funeral. I think the extreme grief actually set in when Joe Paterno announced his retirement. Students cried, professors cried, alumni cried, and members of the State college community cried. It was the day that we hoped would never come and everyone was devastated. The denial stage began when the Board of Trustees announced that Paterno would no longer be the head coach of the football team. People did not want to believe it. I had to watch the clip from the press conference repeatedly before it really set in. I am still not sure if I completely fathom a football team without Joe Paterno. Saturday with really be when reality sits in as we look to the sidelines and see a visible absence. The anger that comes after denial all culminated in the riots that occurred downtown on Wednesday night. People were upset and did not have a proper outlet to channel their anger. I in no way shape or form think that tipping a van or taking down street lights were the right ways to go about showing our anger but at the time people were just overcome with rage at the Board of Trustees. From the chants that rang out through the street it became obvious that people were not even sure what specifically they were mad about. There were chants about the media and our clear desire to want them out of our town. There signs about how McQueary and Curley are still employed by the school yet Joe Paterno had to go. There were people who were upset by the lack of respect the Board of Trustees had in firing Joe Pa by phone. More than anything though, the entire Penn State community was angry that the Board would not give Paterno one more game to say his good bye to the fans who love him in the stadium that he has mode us all love. I think we are currently between the bargaining stage and the depression stage. Everyone is calling for McQueary to meet the same fate as Paterno because that only seems fair. The same is true for Curley who is still technically employed and was allowed to take leave while the legal process unfolds. The depression stage was evident on the faces of all the students on Thursday. I have never seen campus so sober. The place that we know as Happy Valley was far from happy. People were in tears in some classes that allowed students to talk about what they were feeling. The game on Saturday should start the acceptance process but it will take a long time for people to fully adjust to a life without Joe Paterno on the sidelines. Sat, 12 Nov 2011 04:07:50 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/10/voices-from-the-classroom-74/#IDComment220722817 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/01/voices-from-the-classroom-20/#IDComment217090504 I do believe that immigrants should have to speak English. I know it is not the politically correct thing to say but I have long been a believer in if you want to permanently live in America then you need to be willing to learn English. Language is something is something that unites us as a country. I was in support of George Bush when he tried to make English the official language of America. I understand where people were upset by that proposal, however, if you are going to live in this country and be a part of all of the benefits it has to offer, then at least be able to speak our language. I feel as though we as a country tend to cater to immigrants. Spanish speaking immigrants have a particularly easy time moving here because we do not force them to adapt to our language. There are signs in stores that have information in English and its Spanish translation. Any time you call a phone number that gives you pre-recorded responses, there is always the option to listen to these option in Spanish. I understand that there are many Spanish speaking immigrants in America but when they move to America they should be willing to learn and adapt to our culture and part of that culture is our language. When my grandparents moved her with my aunt from Italy they made a point of learning English. They knew that part of coming to America and starting a new life meant being able to communicate with the American people. They did not abandon their culture or language at all. They continued to speak Italian in their home and my mom’s first language was actually Italian. However, by the time my mom reached elementary school she was able to speak English as well because they raised her bilingual. One of my closest friends from home is the daughter of Portuguese immigrants. She is also bilingual and learned English prior to beginning public school. I think that immigrants should be able to keep their own language and I have no issue with them speaking it to other people who are familiar with the language, as my grandparents and friend did, but they should also speak English. On the flip side, as an American I could never imagine myself moving out of the country and not learning the new language. I am studying abroad in Rome next semester and I can speak some conversational Italian. I feel a need to learn more of the language before I go because I do not expect people to be able to speak English everywhere I go. That is part of going to a new culture, you have to be willing to adapt and learning the language just might be the most important part of that adaptation. Sat, 5 Nov 2011 01:45:19 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/11/01/voices-from-the-classroom-20/#IDComment217090504 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/27/voices-from-the-classroom-55/#IDComment213516596 I am very much in favor of immigration. Three of my four grandparents immigrated to America when they were adults. All three of my grandparents embraced American culture. My grandfather on my mom’s side of the family actually came to America to chase after the American Dream. He came through Ellis Island and immediately got a job, but I do not remember what field he went into. He made enough money to buy a house in a small town in Connecticut and establish himself. Eight years later he had made enough money to bring my grandmother and my aunt, who he had never met before, over from Italy. My grandmother began working part time and my aunt entered public school as soon as they arrived. A few years later my grandfather brought his brother over from Italy. He was unmarried with no children so after a year of learning accounting in Connecticut he drove to California and started a multimillion dollar business. These stories tend to be what I think of when I hear the word “immigration.” Prior to my grandfather all of my mom’s family lived in Southern Italy. When they came here there was a stigma attached with being Italian but they chose to ignore what people thought of them, worked hard, and assimilated to American culture and language because they knew they had to. This is where I have a problem with illegal immigrants. I see no issue with immigrants moving to America but when they come to America and do not want to adapt to our culture then I have an issue with it. I am not saying that this is the only culture that has illegal immigrant in America but I tend to think of people crossing the border from Mexico or coming up from Cuba when I think of illegal immigrants. I understand that they want a better life for themselves and their families but I do not agree with the way they go about it sometimes. I do not like seeing signs that are in both English and Spanish because I feel like this is helping them not have to assimilate to our culture. Part of our culture is our language and I just feel like something is not right if they are not willing to learn it. I am not saying they have to lose their language completely, my grandparents spoke Italian in their home on a regular basis, but they should make the effort to be able to communicate with the people in America. I understand why people immigrate here illegally but if they are willing to take the risk of getting caught and everything that goes along with coming here illegally then at least learn the language before you arrive or shortly thereafter. Again I know that this is a generalization and not necessarily what all illegal immigrants do. Fri, 28 Oct 2011 18:05:21 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/27/voices-from-the-classroom-55/#IDComment213516596 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/20/voices-from-the-classroom-51/#IDComment210728807 I do not think that people who hang out in mixed crowds are posers. I actually think they are the opposite. The people who hang out in mixed crowds are actually the people who tend to not care about race and do not see the differences and just view everyone as people. My hometown in predominantly white but we have our fair share of blacks, Asians, and Hispanics. I know that when I grew up there was very little emphasis placed on race. As a result all races mixed together by the time we all got to high school. Of course on occasion there were groups of all the black kids hanging out in one hall way or all of the Hispanic kids out in the courtyard, but I feel that would happen no matter what. I frequently witnessed white kids go over to the “black group” during free periods and an Asian kid going over to the “white group” during lunch. No one at my high school even though twice about it because no one cared enough about race to judge people for who they hung out with. People who would be seen as “posers” within mixed groups are the kids who were not just friends with the people in that group but instead tried to imitate and be just like the people in that group. Only one kid at my high school ever got called a poser. He was a white kid who everyone knew wanted to be black. His two best friends were black and that did not bother anyone. It was not until he started dressing like them and talking like them that people took a step back and tried to figure out what was going on. By the time he tried to start his “rap career” people officially began to call him a poser. He is the only person I can think of in my four years of high school that I ever witnessed get called a poser. It was not until about half way through high school, mainly after I got my driver’s license and was able to go around town by myself or with friends, that I even knew there were different racial “sections” in my town. I would have never even guessed it if someone had not told me jokingly told me about it. I was so used to seeing everyone hang out with all different races that I never even thought twice about race or people acting as “posers.” I do not think I even see many people at Penn State that I would deem “posers” and even if they are around I probably do not notice them because I do not think twice about mixed crowds. Sat, 22 Oct 2011 00:19:00 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/20/voices-from-the-classroom-51/#IDComment210728807 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/11/blog-about-happiness-for-soc-119-and-learn-something-useful/#IDComment207544797 After reading the article about why people today have the wrong idea of happiness I felt that the author was dead on with their thoughts. The reason I connected with most was number three, the idea that money does not buy happiness. I can tell you from first-hand experience that this is an incredibly true statement. I come from an upper-middle class family in a suburb of New York City. I will be the first to admit that I have never known what it is like to struggle to make ends meet or have a parent that works two jobs because they have to. When I was in elementary school my dad decided to leave his job at a New York bank because he was not happy there anymore. He did not have another job lined up because he wanted to take some time off in general. When he did this we only had my mom’s income coming into the house, she owns her own jewelry business and does decently well for herself, so we had to be a bit more careful about our spending. At the time it was a bit of an adjustment but it was definitely manageable and my brother and I didn’t mind not getting new clothes or toys or things of that nature. While my dad wasn’t working, he and I hung out all the time. We would go bike riding, go to Wendy’s because he couldn’t cook and watch television together. Those things may seem insignificant but I loved spending time with my dad. By the time I got to fifth grade my dad had decided to go back to work, but his work would now be in London. He started out by going there for two weeks and then coming back to the U.S. for two weeks. Eventually it turned into we would see him one week out of each month. Five years later he started going to India and now that I am at college I see him only on major holidays. My dad attempts to make up for his absence by sending gifts to my brother and me on various occasions or bringing things home for us when we see him. For example, he sent me flowers for my eighth grade graduation, sent my brother the money to buy the used car he wanted when he passed his driver’s test, and sends me candy and a stuffed animal in the mail every Valentine’s day. To him, buying material things for us should make us happy and ok that he travels so much. While all of these things are nice and I am very grateful for them, I would not even think twice about giving up everything he has ever gotten me in return for him just being around because that would be what would bring my family and I actual happiness. Fri, 14 Oct 2011 19:45:17 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/11/blog-about-happiness-for-soc-119-and-learn-something-useful/#IDComment207544797 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/06/voices-from-the-classroom-36/#IDComment204457748 I am assuming that this question refers to why women dress a certain way when they go out at night on the weekends. I think that the biggest influence on why women dress a certain way is the culture around them. State College for example sets a certain standard that women are not usually familiar with when they first enter college. When my roommates and I look back at pictures of ourselves from freshman year it is often followed by “what were we thinking?” or “who let us out looking like that?” What is odd about this is that we were wearing jeans and cute shirts or sundresses. Almost everywhere else in America that would be ok to go out in. However, State College culture subconsciously causes almost all of the female students to change the way they dress. The best example of this I can think of comes from when I visited Penn State over this past summer. I came up for a weekend and the summer session freshman had just started. When my friend and I were getting ready to go out that night she told me to watch how many freshman were out and that I would be able to tell that they were freshman by the way they dressed. I didn’t believe her when she said it, but she was right. It was apparent who the freshmen girls were because they were in jean shorts and tank tops. Unless it was for a daylong, I do not remember the last time I wore shorts out at Penn State. The freshman girls look at my friend and me like we were crazy, we were wearing tight dresses and heels, but we looked at them knowing that by the time September rolled around they would be dressing as we were. That’s the power of the Penn State culture, the overwhelming presence of girls in “sexy” outfits will make those freshman girls I saw feel the need to dress the same way so that they can fit in. Personally, I would be much more comfortable going out in jeans and a v-neck but that would be socially unacceptable here. I think the woman here conform to what the culture tells them to wear because girls are incredibly competitive with each other. It is a competition for who looks the best or for who can get the guy at a party. There are probably a few girls who go out in the tight clothes and heels because they genuinely like it, but I would think that they would be the minority. I think woman go out dressed this way because they expect to be given attention if they do. I don’t necessarily believe that any of this is a positive thing, but I will admit that I feed into some of these ideas. Fri, 7 Oct 2011 18:15:31 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/10/06/voices-from-the-classroom-36/#IDComment204457748 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/20/everyone-respond-to-this/#IDComment197750348 I think that the Haiti Partners for Christian development is unbelievable organization that will help a multitude of people in the long run. The ability to create jobs for people in Haiti is going to have a huge impact on their ability to rebuild as a country and within their individual communities. I found a lot of these stories to be fascinating and inspiring. I also thought it was really interesting to see what a range of jobs these people were doing. There is everything from clothing to solar appliances to insulated lunch bags. After watching the video about Manouchka it was even more impressive to read about what these people are doing. This woman is working out of what appears to be her home with very little assistance and still making a profit. I think she also has a unique idea going for her. The concept of making picture frames seems simple but in a place like Haiti where many people lost loved ones having a nice frame to put an old family photo in is actually a big deal. I think it is wonderful that she is providing people with a way to express themselves through hair products, bracelets and accessories. The Figaro business is incredible because they are able to keep an entire business going when they only have one refrigerator, one over and one box to store supplies. In America no business could ever stay alive with such limited supplies because we are so used to mass production. They also amaze me with their ability to only get their resources once a week because of the public transportation system. I admire Figaro for running a successful business while raising her four kids. It is also impressive that she runs a business on top of taking them thirty minutes to school each way because those times have to be in the morning and middle of the day when I would imagine her business would be at its busiest. I love Madame Lamour’s flower business because that really is an acquired skill. Not just anybody can create flower arrangements and have the arrangements look good, especially not enough flower arrangements for an entire wedding. I think it is great that the company can now sustain itself in Haiti alone because the more self sufficient companies Haiti can create, the better their economy will do. Madame Lamour’s company is also great because they can employ quite a few people. They might not necessarily hire them full time but they could possibly hire extra help for weddings and the holiday season when they are overwhelmed with work. That also allows them to teach the skill to a wider range of people. Sat, 24 Sep 2011 01:31:19 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/20/everyone-respond-to-this/#IDComment197750348 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/15/voices-from-the-classroom-11/#IDComment194312891 First and for most I am at Penn State because I choose to be. This was the school that I wanted to attend because I feel in love with it, not my parents. My parents were actually very persistent about me going to Boston College because they had both gone there. My mom’s roommate is on the Board of Trustees and Boston College and her and my mom arranged a special visitation weekend for me up in Boston because they thought they would be able to make my decision for me that way. However, all it did was make me want to go to Penn State even more. Penn State was a school that I wanted to go to and could get into because of the hard work I had put in during high school, not because of who I knew or the fact that I was a legacy. I wanted to make my own choices and create my own path rather than follow in the steps of my parents. I had accepted that if I did not get into Penn State then I would attend Boston College because that was the only other school my parents felt was “suitable” for me. We discussed in class the fact that some people were put on “the college path” and always knew they were going to end up there because there was no other option. I am without a doubt one of those people. I have been hearing about choosing a college since the 8th grade. My teachers told us all the time that 8th grade was the last time you could get mediocre grades because after that colleges could see them and it could ultimately hurt your chances of getting in somewhere. That was nothing compared to the pressure that my high school teachers and counselors put on all 475 students I graduated with. We were told all the time to take honors or AP classes because they “look better on your application.” It was unacceptable in my town to not go on to some form of college but even county college was looked down upon. In my house my brother and I were never given the option of not going to college. In fact my dad just recently because ok with my brother and I possibly not going to grad school. However, I am pretty sure he only said that because he has already instilled in us that this is what we have to do. My parents also signed me up for SAT prep classes as soon as I picked which date I would be taking the exam on. Everything I did in high school related back to helping my chances of getting into school. Overall, I am happy my parents instilled in me the drive to go to college but I am even happier than I made my own decision in determining Penn State was the school for me. Sat, 17 Sep 2011 01:59:54 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/15/voices-from-the-classroom-11/#IDComment194312891 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/01/how-do-you-feel-about-interracial-dating/#IDComment189172028 I have never actually been in an interracial relationship but I would definitely be open to it. I do not think that someone’s racial background effects who they are as a person which is much more important in a relationship. I think interracial dating is becoming more and more socially acceptable. My aunt, who is which, married an African-American guy in the late 60’s and she was disowned by many member of my family, more specifically her very old school Italian immigrant aunts and uncles. They did not care that he was highly educated and help a very high position at one of the major national banks. That meant nothing to them; all they saw was the color of his skin. My grandparents were the only ones who were accepting. The rest of my family only let my aunt back into their lives when she told them that she was getting a divorce. Every time I heard that story, it still seems ridiculous to me that people could be that judgmental, especially members of my own family who I know are good people. I think society has come a long way since then. In large cities I feel like no one even gives interracial couples a second glance. It is only a matter of time before the rest of the country starts to follow in those footsteps. I don’t see anything wrong with dating some one of another race. Personally I’m attracted to almost all races and would never let the color of some one’s skin be the determining factor in dating some one of not. I know it would be difficult to do because there are still a lot of people out there who are very much against any kind of interracial dating. I have seen documentaries that follow people in interracial relationships and it is heartbreaking to see what some of them have to go through. They get insults shouted at them on the street, small children pointing at them and some family members turning their backs on the people in the relationship. Personally I think that people should be with whoever makes them happy. Why should it matter what the color of the person’s skin is? Just because someone is black does that mean they would be a bad boyfriend? If someone was Asian does that mean they would not listen to you? There is no sense is judging any one for anything they do, let allow for who they date and fall in love with. There is someone out there for everyone and how boring would the world be if everyone ended up with someone who looked just like them? Everyone should just be with the person who makes them happy, regardless of their race. Fri, 2 Sep 2011 23:22:39 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/09/01/how-do-you-feel-about-interracial-dating/#IDComment189172028 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/19/what-americans-fear/#IDComment145454188 For the most part I do not actually fear people from the Middle East. However, I cannot help but be wary when I am traveling on subways or airplanes with people from that area. I feel terrible saying that, but it is true. I have felt this way since the World Trade Center bombing in 2001. I am from 30 minutes outside of New York City and could see the smoke coming from ground zero for days. I was terrified of people in the Middle East as a 10 year old because this was my first experience with them. 12 people died in my town because of that attack. That is not exactly the first impression anyone would want someone to have of their culture. The next experience I had that furthered my fear was the London train and bus bombings. My dad worked in London for 5 years and was there with my brother, who was interning with my dad’s company, when the bombings occurred. There was even a bomb threat on their building and knowing that my family was in immediate danger was terrifying. Again those attacks were at the hands of extremist Muslims. The week following those attacks my mom and I joined my dad and brother in London. It was immediately apparent that people there had begun to live in fear as well. While on the subway with my mom and brother a Middle Eastern man got on the same car as us. He sat down one row away from us and it was obvious that people were nervous. While they did not move away from him immediately, they did try to move away from him. He did not look threatening, he was wearing regular clothes and had a briefcase with him, but it was apparent that everyone was aware of his presence. When his phone started to ring everyone stopped talking. At this point he knew that everyone was uncomfortable. In an effort to make people feel better, he answered the phone and began speaking perfect English with a British accent and it was obvious he was not actually from the Middle East. When he hung up he tried to laugh off people’s fear and smile at them. I felt terrible that people treated him like that, but that’s the kind of effect fear has. Sat, 23 Apr 2011 19:15:24 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/19/what-americans-fear/#IDComment145454188 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/transgendered-complications/#IDComment142542522 This article is appalling to me for two reasons. The first is that this kind of discrimination is happening in my home state of New Jersey. The second, and bigger issue, is that one of my best childhood friends is transgender. Like the man in the story, my friend was also born female before transitioning to become a male. I have learned a lot of things through my friend, who now goes by the name James, but most importantly I have learned to be more accepting of the things that are considered “abnormal.” Just because James was born a female does not mean that his personality or whole life changed when he officially became a male according to the government. He had been living as a male for at least two years before he even started the testosterone treatments. Being a man is who he is. No one should be discriminated against for who they are. James is still one of the funniest people I know who loves to play video games and it’s a self-proclaimed “computer nerd” who has held a job at Apple for over a year now. I have more respect for Apple now because they know about James’ past and encourage him to be who he is. The company in this article who fired the man for not wanting to disclose that he had surgery to officially change his sex should be sued or at the very least be reprimanded by the state of New Jersey. Who are they to say who is a man or not? Long before James “officially” became a man, he had been living as a man and no one he meet ever thought otherwise. If this man who lost his job has been living as a man then this company should not have let him go. If they fired him because they are uncomfortable having someone who was only born a female monitoring the urinal does that mean they would fire someone for being homosexual as well? That would have to be the case because the only reason I can even think of for the company to fire someone for such nonsense is that they think there would be an issue of the monitor being sexually attracted to the person they are monitoring. This entire story and many others like it that I have read absolutely disgust me because these companies have no right to judge anyone for what they do or how they live their lives. Wed, 13 Apr 2011 17:42:42 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/transgendered-complications/#IDComment142542522 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141117962 It was interesting to read that he thought women wanted sex and money because that was what the media was telling him. The media seems to be ruining more and more relationships these days because what they portray on TV and in the movies is nothing close to real. They show made up stories and fairy tale endings which skew people’s perception of reality. Fri, 8 Apr 2011 23:46:03 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141117962 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141117929 I think the most important quality this inmate listed in his letter is that a man is supposed to be a protector. I also thought it was interesting though that he said a man is supposed to “keep his woman safe from whatever harms may come her way; encourage her to do well and never allow her to give up; never let her settle for anything less than what she is capable of; be an optimist who sees the good in every situation, even the horrid ones” because at the end of the letter it sounds like this would be out of character for him. However I do admire his willingness to change. Also if he can fulfill his idea of what a protector is I believe he will then be able to successfully be everything else he says he would like to be in his letter. Protector seems like it would be the biggest challenge because there is a lot that that title entails. Fri, 8 Apr 2011 23:45:49 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141117929 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141117883 I was actually very surprised when I got to the end of this letter that the inmate writing it admitted he used to be a no good kind of guy. When I began reading it I really thought it was going to be about how much an inmate misses being a man in a relationship. This letter was pleasantly surprising though because it reminded me that not all of these inmates are bad people. Many of them have changed their ways and are making a genuine effort to turn their lives around. I have a lot of respect for the inmate that wrote this letter because he has clearly reflected on his life and has a good, healthy idea of the man he wants to be when he gets out of prison. Fri, 8 Apr 2011 23:45:33 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141117883 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139457888 It was very sad to read that this inmate has significantly less contact with their friends and family than they used to. Those are supposed to be the people that support you through thick and thin so to read that this person has minimal contact with them was heart breaking. I do believe that this could be attributed to the way inmates are allowed to communicate with the outside world. It takes much more time to write a letter than it does to use other forms of communication, such as texting or emailing. I feel that the prison system needs to adapt to the changing technology so that inmates do not feel so cut off from society. I understand that this would be a bit risky due to safety issues but I do believe it could work. If texting were allowed, using some kind of screening system of course, it would be highly beneficial to the inmates’ emotional health. It would be better than writing letters because it allows for immediate contact and as close to an actual conversation as can be had without the person actually being there. I am not surprised that the inmates form their own sorts of families once they have been incarcerated for a prolonged period of time. I also think it is great for the younger inmates to have something like that. Most of the time young people refuse to listen to advice from people close to them but for them to be able to see people who have been in their shoes and what they have done with their lives can be highly beneficial. Having that kind of mentor is what can truly make an inmate change. The support that they can give the new inmates from day one also makes a huge difference because for anyone going into the prison system for the first time it would have to be a scary experience. I have a lot of respect for the men and women in prison that take on that role for the new inmates because I am sure they are doing more for these young people than they even realize. Sat, 2 Apr 2011 22:42:44 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139457888 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/fear-2/#IDComment137577050 I have a lot of sympathy for this particular inmate. Living in constant fear of being attacked by your own father is something no child should ever have to deal with. Having a family that allows this to continue day after day is something no child should have to accept. I can understand this man’s fear only because of an incident that occurred with one of my closest friends. She was assaulted a few years ago by a guy she had considered to be an acquaintance. She thought that after the incident she would just be able to move on and for awhile she did. When we started our freshman year of college I distinctly remember the phone call. “He’s back,” was all she could manage to say before sobbing on the phone. He had left her a voicemail in the middle of the night saying that he knew where she went to school and that he would be seeing her around New Haven very soon. She hoped it was an empty threat, but he found her. The night she called me she had been out at a bar with some friends and had left her friends to get a drink. That was when someone tapped her on the shoulder and it was him. He had found her and cornered her as soon as she left her friends. He said some things that are to inappropriate for me to write and told her he would be back. She saw him the next week to. Her life became a living hell. She could not leave her school grounds without having an overwhelming feeling that he was going to show up. She had to go home and get a restraining order, which he violated when he found her again and cursed her out for it. She had to start going home every weekend because the anxiety had gotten so bad. I know how difficult it was for my friend so I cannot even imagine the amount of fear he must have had to conquer living in the same house as the man who was attacking him. I also think that his siblings should be in jail for allowing this to occur and lying about it to authorities. Fri, 25 Mar 2011 21:44:43 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/23/fear-2/#IDComment137577050 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/15/lgbt-families-theres-a-lot-of-fear-out-there/#IDComment135955403 After watching Zach Wahls speech about family I can’t help but think that he is correct in that as long as two parents, of any form, are present in the household then the child has a true “family.” I thought it was interesting that Wahls noted that no one ever guessed he was raised by two lesbian moms. That just goes to show that it does not matter what sexual orientation your parents are, they are still your parents. As Wahls says, there was still love and support in his household much the same as if he were to have been raised by two heterosexual parents. Having a friends who is transgendered has helped me to understand that they are the exact same as every “normal” person. They have the same emotions, values, morals, and beliefs. When they get married it is for all of the same reasons that heterosexual couples do, they want a lifelong commitment that they can rely on in good times and in bad. I do not see why people give them such a problem about raising children together. If they are able to provide a stable environment and financial support then they should be treated with the same respect as heterosexual parents. The government should not be able to tell anyone who they can or cannot marry. If two people love each other and want to commit to each other then government should not be allowed to intervene in their relationship. If anything the government should grant homosexual couples the same rights as heterosexual couples. Wahls argument really shows how similar gay marriage is to straight marriage. He is incredibly convincing in his speech and I cannot see how anyone in that room could not agree with his compelling argument about his mothers. It was also very interesting that after being raised by two mothers he became an athlete and a boy scout, which is why people typically argue that guys need a man in the house so that he will have masculine qualities. He is an excellent example of why government should not intervene and give a forced definition of family because as long as two parents are in the house then the kids are incredibly fortunate. Sat, 19 Mar 2011 01:49:18 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/15/lgbt-families-theres-a-lot-of-fear-out-there/#IDComment135955403 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/28/the-lottery-as-a-blessing-or-a-curse/#IDComment134057978 I think there are many more negative things that come along with winning the lottery than positive things. Yes, it would be great to be able to pay off loans and mortgages and not have to worry about those financial troubles again. However it seems like people instantly forget about the practical uses for the money as soon as they win. So many times people will spend money frivolously on cars and new homes. They do not need these things but they think that they have always dreamed of having so they spend beyond their means. The transition from being wealthy to poor would also be very difficult to adjust to. You would have to learn to go without many things you took for granted. You would no longer be able to choose what clothes you wear, you would have to wear whatever is given to or what you could afford. You would no longer be able to be picky about what you eat; you would have to eat whatever is available. You would no longer be able to go where ever you wanted because you would probably no longer have access to a car. You would have to adjust to a mass transit system. While all of those things would be a large adjustment I do think that the positive part of going from wealthy to poor is that it tends to force you to focus on more important things like family. The transition from poor to wealthy would possibly be even more difficult. It would be hard because you would have gotten so used to being part a certain social class and the way it operates that being thrown into a new class would be like being dropped in a foreign country where you do not know the language. It would be hard for people to acclimate and have people accept you. It would also be very nerve wracking to have any new friends over to your new home because you know that they would be judging everything in it to see if you are up to par with their class level. Fri, 11 Mar 2011 05:48:26 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/28/the-lottery-as-a-blessing-or-a-curse/#IDComment134057978