en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/2438260 Comments by mjg5466 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/21/if-prison-has-taken-anything-away-from-me/#IDComment145234102 This getting life, to me, is one of the saddest that I've read thus far. Most in the past have had some form of hope or findings of something else besides the nothing that this man can't get passed. However, I guess M speaks more of the reality of prison and what most people would think of it if they were asked about it. There is so much nothing and I couldn't imagine it. Hearing something like this from a "lifer" should give hope and strength to everyone that can find love. It should be something cherished and not taken advantage of in the slightest bit. By thinking of the people such as M who cannot be given that opportunity it should make others want to find love and treat it with the up most respect that it deserves. For the pure fact that out of everything that this man has lost, love is the strongest thing for him, it should have an effect on many people. More than the freedom of doing what you want, feeling loved is one of the greatest things a person can have. All i can do from my perspective as a student reading this is say there needs to be some sense of something you can find love in. Whether it's a certain group of people in the prison you can share anything with, religion, or anything that you can obtain or think about in prison. Feeling alone will just lead to deeper and deeper depression, and I can only imagine what that depression would add to a person who is in prison. For M, I am not very sure that his feelings will change because sitting in a cage thinking of thoughts such as these it might act as a cement forming thought that he will never find love anymore. I hope he can find something to put his focus on to take it off all the bads and lean closer to the goods. As hard as that may be, it might be the only way to live healthy in a place such as prison. Fri, 22 Apr 2011 22:43:56 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/21/if-prison-has-taken-anything-away-from-me/#IDComment145234102 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/lifer/#IDComment143170936 I feel that what J.V.G. writes about in this later mainly focuses on the point of generalizations. Generalizations are something that keep people close-minded. Generalizations are what keep people from seeing people for who they are rather what group they might seem to be a part of. They've created problems as deep as racism and unfortunately are still here today. The fact is, most of society today is a follower of this generalization theory, and it is a difficult concept to talk about when as a question such as; do you generalize certain people? Although many might be quick to say that they are only influenced, or they only judge how or who the person actually is, the majority generalizes in one way or another. Although this was a letter based on being a considered a "lifer" I feel that the idea that J.V.G. writes about focuses on a much broader topic. These "labels" that are given to groups destroy what certain individuals might have to offer to the world. It is combining traits and aspects of everyone and not including the individuality of every person. Furthermore, although this may never change it will always be known as wrong. I've learned through reading a lot of Getting Life's that there are plenty of individuals in there who are what people make them out to be. However, to say that every one of them are alike is just wrong. It all comes back to the old saying, "don't judge a book by its cover." I'm not to sure if people will ever learn the lesson behind a saying like that to the fullest extent, but it should definitely be acknowledged. I hope that everyone who reads what this man had to say open there eyes a little bit more and allow themselves to meet those people they might never wanted to be a part of. Although there may be certain attributes that certain groups of individuals all have, there are also certain attributes that will never be seen if we don't open our eyes. Everyone needs to help push these generalizations behind them, and maybe this world will become a better place. Fri, 15 Apr 2011 17:43:50 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/11/lifer/#IDComment143170936 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141131448 Having a girlfriend for almost two years now this message sent by C seems like a very warming subject to me because as hard as it can be to be that very good guy that he discusses, it is how you build and keep a healthy relationship. The media and overall view of woman is not this way, at least not anymore. Everyone feels the need to be "cool" and it has become accepted through most men today. The word "chivalry" just isn't as significant as it was in the past. However, as people grow older it seems to come more into play. Me as a 19 year old, I feel as if I'm going against the crowd but for some reason I just want to do everything to keep what I have. Just because I'm in college doesn't mean I should follow the crowd because that's not what I'm personally about. I believe that all the things that C listed are necessary to give to a woman because although these are just the things a man should get the things that woman give in return is very worth it. C must have had some problems in the past and his message makes me curious to what exactly got him where he is today. However, it is very respectable to hear what this man had to say, and what his views were because to me everything he said is true and the way it should be. There are plenty of things that aren't necessarily socially accepted or at least used to their full capabilities. One of these things would definitely be the acceptance of treating people of the opposite sex right. For some reason it's just the way it is today. Everything that C said is the right way, but I don't think in any case or any topic in this crazy world that everything will be the right way unfortunately. All we can do is watch the way sociology takes its form and has an impact on society. Maybe if more people like C were to speak up, the world could change for the better. Sat, 9 Apr 2011 01:07:45 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/04/03/what-a-man-is/#IDComment141131448 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139231195 Without hearing much of this man's background I believe that no matter what he did to get him where he is today he is definitely taking productive steps in helping his and others lives. He has clearly accepted what he is and refuses to let himself be known as someone who has failed now. C seems to realize that although it is very hard dealing with not being able to "be in the loop", he accepts what he has and makes the best of it. You really never get the idea of what his background is all about and what this man could have possibly done to get him in prison. All he claims is that he was a good guy and he definitely has supporting evidence of that by saying his teachers from high school still write him years later. Although it is apparent that he does have some struggle not being able to be as close as he once was, C seems to find help to this by allowing himself to be an older brother figure for those that have recently been put in prison for life. Just like many other of the getting life's that i have done in the past this man does seem like he's going down the right path for a healthy future; or at least a future that gives this man the strength to feel good about himself. I couldn't imagine being in prison and not having the slightest bit of support system. Or more than just a support system but a family that you want nothing to do with. Your family should always be your closest people through thick and thin and when that's gone I don't know who else there is to look too. It's always good to know that someone like C is out there to at least attempt to be that support system for these young men that might have less of a support than he does. Life and furthermore life in prison, must be one of the hardest things to go through without any sort of support. No one to talk to, no one to love, no one that when you’re sitting alone you can say that someone is thinking of me. I hope C can help as many people as possible and stay on his path of aid for the rest of his years. Fri, 1 Apr 2011 23:58:19 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/27/family/#IDComment139231195 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/20/frost-bitten/#IDComment137600450 Although it seems as the average person who has never experienced something that any of these other men have, just as an observation and reader of Getting Life, it seems that B unlike many other lifers is living by what he lost rather than what he can possible do with his life in the near future. Obviously for a very understandable reason, it was just an observation I made after reading all these others. To focus more on this man's situation, I feel although he is there for a reason that this man should be looking for something better only because what else is there. He seems in a very depressed state of mind and doesn't know what to put his focus on to allow for a better life. It is very sad to hear a poem such as this one because as the reader knows, this man may never find that warmth that he is so desperate to find ever again. I hope that one way or another this man can find some sort of objective in his life to focus on to bring him some sort of meaning. The unfortunate fact is that when someone commits such a crime to put themselves in a situation just like this man they have to pay forever. And that fact alone could most definitely drive someone crazy. the idea of not having anyone who cares around you. Like B states, there is no love or warmth; it is a cold-hearted place with people all in the worst situation in the world. The one mistake they made that cost them everything. And all they can do is sit in a cell and look around and see everyone with the same dull idea of nothing. Not knowing much of this mans background but rather only judging on his present feelings can only leave me to say that I hope he can find something that shows him a new way of life. I hope he can see the good and not the bad. Put his eyes past reality and into something much deeper that brings him satisfaction. b needs to find his own sense of warmth with something that gives him meaning. Sat, 26 Mar 2011 00:19:13 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/20/frost-bitten/#IDComment137600450 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/18/m-s-story/#IDComment135946596 The fact that this man is able to tell everyone to not have pity for him is a very wise statement for a man in his situation. At the age of 14, your friends are pretty much your everything. Yeah you have your family but around this age is when you realize how lenient you can become on your friends. It seems that he was in a very troubled state at this age but of course as he restated many times, there is no way to feel bad for this man. He understands what he has done was wrong and knows what he wants but now has to take what he's given and do what he can with it. I will listen to him when he says not to feel bad or anything it's just a very hard thing to live with something you did at such a young almost meaningless age. I could never imagine being in the same position but I can understand that there are so many kids that I'm sure have very hard youths and do things that they feel they need to be free at the young over protected age they are at. However, to say that this man is a bad person I don't think can be true. Yes plenty of people out there have there own stereotypes about everything but that's just not right. Because noone knows everyones situations out there. You can't place your finger on the word murder or lifer and just claim something without hearing there story. M. was totally right on his approach for why he wanted to write such a letter which was to answer the question why. It not only just answered why but it answered so many questions that the average person would wonder about a person in prison for life. Sometimes just like he stated, no matter how much you want to be free when you feel that you realized what you've done and gotten past it all some things you do can't be taken back. What he did was absolutely wrong but I am proud to know that a person who had a troubled youth although now is in prison has been able to change his life for the better. Sat, 19 Mar 2011 00:52:03 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/03/18/m-s-story/#IDComment135946596 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/24/fear/#IDComment130663818 Although as stated in this man's letter that fear is something that everyone deals with in their everyday lives, the fear of being in prison for life is quite apparent that it has the most impact on someone. So many unfinished thoughts have to be going through a person's head in and out of everyday. And for the fact that these thoughts are unfinished there must be so many fears running through a person's mind. From his actual life, to the life that he once had and now seems to be lost; he lists his fears of both and states how he has to deal with these in his sub-conscious all the time. I personally feel the hardest for one to cope with would have to be what his loved ones portray him as today. They don't know who he is in and out of everyday anymore and simply have a very bad memory of what got him where he is today. It must be a truly grueling experience to have to come to the acceptance that the ones that were your closest will no longer know everything about you. However, this man just like many others in jail for life I would assume do come to realize what they must do to move on. What they have to do to put these fears past them and take advantage of being able to wake up every day. His personal troubles are more of a public issue in that i feel like although he must feel being in that cell is the only thing for him, and his thoughts are only his; the majority of the people in his situation will have many of the same feelings. It is so difficult to understand the exact mental flow of these citizens in jail for life. Sometimes I feel no matter how many of these I read I will never truly understand how these men get through what they do. I just know that they do because there are so many that are forced to and survive through it. Although I can never put my finger on what exactly goes through the heads of these people in their daily lives I cannot stop reading because I'm so intrigued that I can have the opportunity to read what these people have to say. Fri, 25 Feb 2011 19:34:52 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/24/fear/#IDComment130663818 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/16/reflections/#IDComment128970212 This man apparently felt the need to tell the world about every part of his life that could have brought him to where he is today. And although he tells us about this one time only, I'm sure this train of thought never fully leaves his mind and it will stay with him forever.These readings always make me feel lucky for who I am and always make me want to keep a head on my shoulders at all times. Yes I'm a college student and yes I see dumb things happen to people all the time but I want to do whatever I can to make sure people such as this man are not me. I refuse to think of my life as something of the past and I would never want to be paralyzed in a cage for my whole life. Unfortunately although I would never think of doing something to put me in jail for life at the age of 15, some people are put in places that can alter everything. Turn a good child into a bad one all based on their environment. A public issue took over this man's life and he could not beat it. He thought being in the "hood" and having sex with random girls was his own choice but it wasn't. He was just another statistic just like I would assume many of the people in prison for life are. Sat, 19 Feb 2011 00:48:39 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/16/reflections/#IDComment128970212 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/16/reflections/#IDComment128970032 I have once again chosen to write in the Getting Life subtopic for this blog. The idea of learning more and more as you get older is one thing but the idea of learning more and more while in prison is very different and interesting. The understanding that one man who is in one plain, dull, non-eventful place for his whole life can sit and evaluate his whole life so often is very cool to look into. Although it is a very sad topic, it also allows for people to change for the better. And not only change but take a larger more broad perspective of their life. Sat, 19 Feb 2011 00:48:10 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/16/reflections/#IDComment128970032 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment127411581 Everyone has dreams that they hope to achieve and I'm sure even this man has dreams today that he has to realize can never become reality. He will never have the chance to strive for something. Work for somethign and get the satisfaction of achieving it. This is truly a scary idea to grasp and I could not even imagine as a 19 year old person that I am today, having all my hopes and dreams stripped from me because of a mistake I made. Furthermore, that mistake being so significant that i will never be given the chance to learn from it. Just like all of these blogs this man gave me an experience that I am glad to open my eyes too. Fri, 11 Feb 2011 21:35:42 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment127411581 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment127411564 The words of a man in prison for life has to be taken advantage of if you have the opportunity to hear them. And back to what I wrote about acceptance, I feel the only way to live on with yourself is to accept, realize and move on in your own way. Whether that means forgive and forget such as this man seems to be doing, or to try to meet with your past such as what happened in the last blog, these ways of moving on are the only way to survive in my opinion as a man in jail for life. The loss of desire for certain things must be another very hard obstacle to overcome. The idea of not being able to do certain things ever, no matter what you do must truly be a disheartening experience. Fri, 11 Feb 2011 21:35:35 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment127411564 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment127411513 When reading "Remember", I asked a lot of questions. Not about myself but more about what this man is going through. How can you not remember friends and family? How can you live without knowing people care? How can you purely be dependent upon yourself for the rest of your life? And then the other side. How can you live with yourself only being able to remember the worst times of your short life? How can you maintain sanity that way? The only answer I could come up with for all these questions was acceptance. I have stuck to the getting life section since I began writing my blogs because I find them to be extremely interesting. Fri, 11 Feb 2011 21:35:14 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/02/09/4092/#IDComment127411513 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/the-other-side-of-life/#IDComment126041090 I would never make the assumption or even partially think that a murderer at 15 or a murderer in general would request to make reconciliation. And furthermore have an extreme desire and almost a lifetime goal to sit and hear what the victims have to say to you after you killed their loved one. I feel priveledged to be a person who is able to read such a letter as this. Unfortuanately not everyone will be able to and the bias of people in prison for life will always be there. However, men such as this should do everything they can to get there word out. Sat, 5 Feb 2011 01:01:28 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/the-other-side-of-life/#IDComment126041090 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/the-other-side-of-life/#IDComment126041068 The generalization that all men are like this man cannot be made because I'm sure there are many people who fit the normal stereotype of a murderer. People filled with anger and hate and past the point of remorse can also be found throughout the jailing system. However the people that open your eyes to new ideas and thoughts are the ones that make the world an interesting place. Furthermore the idea that this young man at 15 decided to murder someone, the automatic assumption could be made that this man was mentally unstable and would have a miserable, lonely life in a jail cell forever. A murderer at the age of 15 now at 51, apparently can drastically change for the better. Without seeing this letter I'm not sure if I would ever know about such a change being possible. Sat, 5 Feb 2011 01:01:19 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/the-other-side-of-life/#IDComment126041068 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/the-other-side-of-life/#IDComment126040224 The realization and acceptance of murder that this man went through throughout his years at prison is very interesting to read about and try to understand. Although he said this letter could only have an influence on victims or offenders, it also had an influence on a person like me. The average person such as myself is blinded to the fact that people who are in jail for life due to a murder are still people. They still have feelings, remorse and can come to the realization that what they did was wrong if they have the courage to evaluate themselves in that way.The realization and acceptance of murder that this man went through throughout his years at prison is very interesting to read about and try to understand. Although he said this letter could only have an influence on victims or offenders, it also had an influence on a person like me. The average person such as myself is blinded to the fact that people who are in jail for life due to a murder are still people. They still have feelings, remorse and can come to the realization that what they did was wrong if they have the courage to evaluate themselves in that way. Sat, 5 Feb 2011 00:58:04 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/30/the-other-side-of-life/#IDComment126040224 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment124468093 Try to understand how lucky I am and how much I should respect what is given to me. Because if I didn't have these freedoms I don't know who or what I would be today. I have grown full respect for the men in prison who will be there for the rest of their lives. Not all of them but ones such as these that make the best of it. Use their minds to make discoveries they may not have been able to make if they did not have their freedoms taken from them. This letter was very interesting and I feel lucky to be able to experience the words of a man who will be behind bars for the rest of his life. Sat, 29 Jan 2011 03:48:23 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment124468093 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment124468071 Freedom is just something that today is not put into the perspective of every person but is rather something that is given. Today, from the moment a person is born they are given so many freedoms and for this reason you do not develop the understanding that these freedoms could not be there. There is no effort to gain freedom and therefore, it is taken advantage of.__Life today is such a gift that people truly will not understand unless it is taken from them. Unless there is a feeling of desperation for freedom, a feeling of losing it and only being able to think about what you once had. For a person such as myself I can say that I definitely do not realize what I'm given. It fascinates me to read such a letter and try to understand more fully what I am given. Sat, 29 Jan 2011 03:48:14 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment124468071 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment124468013 The idea of freedom is such an interesting topic when hearing it from an inmate in jail. It is almost like it is an oxymoron however in this case you can clearly tell that this person realizes what he now has. He has the ability to give himself freedom even if everything else was stripped from him. His letter allows us to see that even when a person is behind bars they still has a mind, they can still make his choices, and they can even realize things that they once could not. It is so true that people don't realize that they have freedom. Every little thing we do is a freedom that is taken advantage of. I feel as if the only true way to realize what freedom is, is to have it stripped from you. It is to lose it and sit and think about what you've lost just like the list in this man's letter Sat, 29 Jan 2011 03:47:49 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment124468013 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cg%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment123503110 SOC 001 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 19:42:22 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2011/01/10/last-name-%e2%80%9cg%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-intense-debate/#IDComment123503110 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment122897774 This article was truly an eye-opener for me. There are such heavy stereotypes on people in prison for life and the average person such as myself might hear such a thing quickly and immediately make assumptions, however a letter such as this one allows for a more in depth and real look into the perspective of a person in prison. I feel as if an immediate response to hearing the word murder puts hundreds of thoughts into a persons head such as evil, punishment and dark. I'm very happy to have experienced what this man had to say. It's amazing and so interesting to hear the viewpoint of a person who has committed such an act like this. I'm sure there are many who feel differently than this man in prison, however to stereotype the punishment of life in prison as a whole is wrong after hearing this man's letter. It is absurd to say that just because this man chose to kill that he does not understand the meaning of compassion. It is apparent that life in prison allowed for an opening to something this man never knew about. And although he may have got there for bad reason, this man allowed himself to accept and move on to the bigger picture. His analysis of life and what it is now worth for him is very interesting to me. I almost feel as if it would take someone to be put in the same situation as this man to see what he sees and make a rational reflection on what he had to say. The actuality that this man who committed murder is able to see life in a way that many free people will never experience is to me the most amazing thing this man has to offer through his letter. The necessity to give compassion and to make others feel better, and the instinct to help. This is something the average person would never expect however it is also something truly amazing to understand. This man who never graduated high school absolutely opened my eyes and I hope there are many others who get to experience this letter. Every person is a unique person and this man, although a murderer, allows for generalizations to not be set in stone, and for it to be wrong to judge a person based on their actions alone. Sat, 22 Jan 2011 02:06:52 +0000 http://www.worldinconversation.org/2010/04/21/letter-from-an-inmate/#IDComment122897774