I just saw the documentary Waiting for Superman. It was playing in the HUB, and I decided to go see it. I thought it would be interesting and quirky and informational. I was NOT expecting to learn so much, or to leave that movie so heartbroken. I knew the education system in this country was messed up, but I had no idea just had bad it was. I’ve recently really begun to learn the value of education, not as it applies to me, but how it really affects the rest of the world. I have a demography class, and we’re being taught that education decreases fertility like nothing else, and education for women helps a country’s demographic situation literally above all other things. After watching Waiting for Superman, I learned that we are ranked rather low in education against the rest of the world. We went from number 1 to somewhere in the high 30s for most of the different subjects. However, where we ranked the highest? CONFIDENCE. Are you kidding me? They asked students how they thought they did on the tests, and our students thought they did better than everyone else. I guess in a way this is a win, because American confidence is known around the world, and confidence is a good thing. But we seriously need to stop having confidence in our educational system, and realize that it needs fixed. In the movie, a single, college educated mother struggled trying to get a hold of her son’s teacher. His teacher claimed that he couldn’t read very well, yet she took him to private tutor after private tutor who said he could read just fine, and she often read with him daily and he showed no struggle. However, the teacher ignored her calls and requests for a meeting. This shows exactly what is happening in schools. If this boy’s mother did not pay attention or care, here would be a teacher who tells him he can’t read, and sends him on a track to failure. This would be a student who slipped through the system’s fingers.

Poverty, parent’s education and crime in an area do not lead to poor schools, bad schools THEMSELVES lead to these bad areas. It’s not fair, and it breaks my heart. The world is changing, and our educational system needs to change. We don’t still drive cars from the 1950s, so why are we still in the same education system? We need to get our act together, because we are damning our own students chances at life with this system.

I have actually been reading a lot about transgender individuals lately. For another class, I have to write some type of acceptance speech of a situation of my choosing, and I decided to write as the first transgender Miss USA. What I thought was going to be an easy project, turned into a heartbreaking evening reading blogs and testimonies of transgendered people. Simply put, ask yourself this question to even TRY to understand how it feels to be transgendered: Imagine feeling exactly as you do today, but inside the wrong body. I really had to sit and think about that feeling. It would feel so wrong and upsetting and confusing if I had a penis. It’s funny to think about at first, until you really reflect on it. I know that I am a woman, and I would not want to be anything else.

I truly believe that you gender is what you KNOW you are. I could understand being hesitant about a person who was confused as to their gender, but most transgender individuals are NOT confused. They KNOW in their hearts, minds and souls that they are the sex that they feel; only their body does not match. If I were a person who had to pee in a cup and a transgender male-to-female individual was to watch me, I would not be uncomfortable any more than anyone would be having someone watch you pee. This person may have a penis. But she KNOWS that she is a woman, and I respect that. And I think the government should respect that.

How do we limit what someone’s sex is? If it’s on PHYSICALLY having a penis or a vagina, some people have medical problems where they do NOT have a penis or a vagina. Do those people have no sex? Believe me, I don’t think we should be able to simply just change our sex whenever we want, or do it just because. But some people are really born in the wrong body, and they cannot help that. It breaks my heart that these people have to live their lives in the wrong body, and I want to support them and know that I care, and I think EVERYONE, who was lucky enough to be born in the right body, should care and try to understand.

I think men certainly feel the need to conform to society, but I honestly do not believe it’s in the same way that women feel. I think it’s in women’s psyche to need to fit in and be accepted in a way that it just isn’t in men. I can’t give any solid Darwinian explanations for this, but I know for a fact that I try to conform more than most of the men around me, even if I don’t want to. I hate ugg boots. They’re not even that comfortable. But I own two pair. This seems stupid and doesn’t make sense, but my freshmen year; I felt the need to look like the other girls around me. Now, I know a little better and have stopped wearing them. However, I still conform in many ways. It would be easier to not dye my hair, or to spend less money on clothes and makeup, but I don’t want to stick out as the “ugly” girl in the room. I’m afraid of what other girls will say about me and I’m afraid of what guys will think.

I did a lot of conforming to please my ex boyfriend as well. I wanted to be what he wanted me to be. Pathetic? Yes. Realistic of many relationships? Still yes. He joked if my legs were a little hairy and called them “brillo pads” but it wasn’t funny to me, because I knew he was only half kidding, and half didn’t like my legs when they weren’t smooth.

I think women are pleasers by nature, and we are (no matter how hard I fight it) extremely judgmental, especially of each other. If I don’t like another female, the first thing and easiest thing to attack is her appearance. Women: do you ever stop and think, if we could just get along, we could rule the world? I don’t know why men don’t conform as much, and quite frankly, by the end of this post, I don’t even care. I made myself angry by writing all of this, thinking about the countless time and money I have spent on “beauty.”

My best friend returned from Japan a few days ago, and gave me a call to tell me she was back and safe. She hadn’t wanted to come back, but was forced by her program. However, the relevant part to this conversation about crowds is a small anecdote she mentioned. She told me that in the fear of the nuclear disaster, many people were standing in lines outside of grocery stores to stock up on food and necessities. She was amazed at the way people were waiting quietly in an orderly line. No one cut in front of anyone else or forced his or her way through to the front. There was no yelling or panic or crying. She went on to explain that no one was crying or mourning loudly in the streets. This really got me thinking. Not to put down our country, but if this had happened in America, I honestly believe there would have been screaming, pushing and shoving to get into that grocery store. Now, I haven’t by any means been raised to think this is acceptable behavior, but if I were panicked, would I push and shove?

Though the Japanese had a very state-of-the-art system to alert them of the tsunami, it came too fast. Yes, there was panic and yes it was a disaster, but it was those people, waiting calmly and quietly in line at the grocery store, who proved that it was different than it would be here. I think the answer to the question “how do we make people act in a way that will benefit each one of them?” really lies with the Japanese. I don’t think the answer really lies in the physical plan, but the behavior of the people within the plan. If everyone only cares about himself or herself, I don’t think anyone will survive. But if everyone is concerned about each other’s welfare, then we have a chance. I know it is in our blood to save ourselves, but in an evacuation program (like the people from low risk areas blocking highways so the people from high risk areas are trapped) panics and only cares about their own well being, there is a good chance that every will suffer.

Everyone in that line at the Japanese grocery store got their food. If they had panicked or rioted, no one would have gotten anything. To me, this is the epitome of what needs to happen for a successful evacuation program to benefit everyone.

When the people were watching the monogamous relationships on television, it was hinted at that they would be swayed to monogamy because of the programs. At first I thought, this might not happen, because I watch Sister Wives and I’m not swayed by the show. However, I realized, that the more I watch TLC’s Sister Wives, the more I start to think that maybe I could be happy like that. Look at them, they have a husband and 3 best friends! Well, I hate being lonely, wouldn’t it be nice to have friends all the time? The more I watch, the more I think I could like this. (Now, I don’t think I would actually enjoy polygamy, however, the more I watch of that TV show the more it appeals to me. The less I watch, the less it appeals to me.) However, the idea of having more than one husband in no way appeals to me. I think I could become accustomed to sharing my husband with another woman, but I really would not like having more than one husband.

I was very interested in the ending of the video, where they discussed the population explosion that would happen if monogamy became the norm in this region. The idea of multiple husbands has the opposite effect on the population that one husband and multiple wives has. A man can produce nearly countless numbers of children a year as long as he is willing and virile and there are women to spare, however, women can only have so many children in their lifetime. (The hypothetical number is 35.) Another interesting effect this video mentioned was as the education level of the people rises, they are less inclined to life their regular lifestyle. One thing that is understood in demography is that as women become educated, population goes down. However, this town is in an interesting position because their education level makes them more likely to practice monogamy, which will in turn increase their population.

It is very interesting how their “invisible strings” will affect their population growth and fully change their lifestyles on a major scale.

I was most drawn to the last sentence of the prompt: Are any of us even free to decide what and who is and is not beautiful? To that question, I say absolutely not. It’s true last biologically; men and women are drawn to certain traits and characteristics, but these attractions are remnants of the literally “cave-men” days when procreation was everyone’s #1 goal. Men looked for things like thick hair and wide hips to determine a women’s fertility. This will always be ingrained in our brains, but in the year 2010, many more things play a role in what we as individuals are attracted to, and until the day when all humans are attracted to the SAME things and someone can study that, no one can make a mass judgment of beauty. Our childhoods, friends, family and our hormones all play a role in how our perceptions of “beauty” have developed. I have a friend who is considered very beautiful here in the United States. She has ice blonde hair and big blue eyes. She went on a trip to Cambodia, and the people in the major cities saw her as very exotic and beautiful, however, when she travelled into a very small, remote town, the people there were terrified of her. Children followed her around and called her a “ghost” but ran when she turned, and elderly people would not look into her eyes, because they were very light, and they were afraid she was bad luck. The more adventurous teenagers asked her guide if she was sick or cursed. This literally goes to show that our history and background play a huge role in our perception of beauty. Americans are taught that blonde and blue-eyed is beautiful, but to Cambodians in a remote village who had never seen or heard of someone with her coloring, Emily was terrifying and strange.

I had another very close experience with different perceptions of beauty when I worked at a Chinese restaurant in high school. I was the only American working at the restaurant, and as I made friends with the other waitresses my age, we discussed what all teenage girls discuss: beauty. They wanted to lighten their hair, and paid dearly for creams to whiten their skin. The girls could not believe that I paid money to go in a tanning bed and make my skin darker, and dyed my hair black like theirs. When they realized my hair was naturally curly and I woke up early every day to straighten it, they begged me to wear it with the natural curl. However, they couldn’t believe that I was so jealous of their naturally pin straight hair! I was spending time and money to look like they did naturally, and they were doing the same trying to look like me! We both agreed that it would be much easier if we could switch cultures: we would be beautiful in each other’s lives. Instead of seeing our hair, skin and physical traits for what they were, our upbringing and culture molded and shaped our perceptions of beauty.

I disagree with many comments on this blog claiming that the young women at this high school “chose” to become pregnant by “choosing” not to use protection. In nearly every class we discuss the invisible strings that help shape and mold our lives, and just what things these strings have nearly full control over. At the age of fourteen, is it your own personal responsibility to become educated on the ins and outs of sex? Some will say yes, it is. However, I think it’s insane that in this country, we still preach abstinence only sex education. These young men and women have the desires and urges that come with the age, but are literally weaponless in the battle. If sex is the battle, condoms and physical contraceptives are not the only weapon. These students need to be properly educated on the facts, and how to properly use contraceptives. They’ve proven the obvious, TEENAGERS ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX. Why on earth would anyone think that this is going to change by not teaching him or her about sex? In my humble opinion, the less you know about the science of sex, the more likely you actually are to have unprotected sex.

I don’t want them to completely desensitize teenagers when it comes to sex, but the statistics don’t lie: they need to be informed if they’re to be expected to make smart decisions, i.e. not get pregnant at fourteen. It terrifies me that of all public school districts, a whopping 86% require that abstinence be promoted in their sex education programs. Look at Bristol Palin. She was taught abstinence only sex education, and had an accident baby. One would think that she would tour the country preaching the benefits of thorough sexual education, and how not to make mistakes, but she somehow has passed herself off as a credible source for why abstinence only sex ed works. But I digress.

This high school is a perfect example of the invisible strings we often talk about. These girls did not make a choice not to get pregnant; they didn’t make any choice at all, because no one gave them the tools to make a decision. Only when these students had all of the facts would they have the tools to make a “free” decision concerning their sexual relationships.

I recently read an article that discussed my generation and phone conversations. In a nutshell, the article did a substantial amount of polling, and found that people between the ages of roughly 15-23 tend to make “appointments” through text or email to make actual phone calls, and find it rude or obtrusive to simply pick up the phone and call someone. At first, I scoffed at this. I don’t care who calls me! I can just ignore the call if I don’t feel like talking, I thought. Around 11:00 am the next morning, I get a phone call from a friend, and it immediately annoyed me. She should know I’m busy right now. Why didn’t she ask? If she had text me to ask, I would have told her we could talk after 2.

Wait, what?

What was I thinking? Did I seriously want her to….make an appointment? To CALL me?

That got me thinking. I generally send a text before I call anyone asking if I can. Aside from my parents, I rarely call someone. When I get a random phone call from a friend, my first response is to ask, “What’s wrong?” They certainly wouldn’t simply call me unless it was about something important. This article really struck me. Our generation has a problem with all forms of intimacy. If we can’t make simple phone calls anymore, how on earth are any of us going to handle a relationship? This doll further represents the problem. The fact that it even “talks” to you completely removes any need for intimacy. In this world of social networking and text messaging, I’m terrified for my future children’s social skills if we’re now introducing robots to the technological mix.

I understand the difference between men and women’s sexual and intimacy needs, but this doll is weird and unnatural. We as humans evolved into these needs for certain reasons. Maybe my cave-woman era self needed to be picky and make sure the father of my children cared enough to stick around, and maybe nowadays my 21st century working woman self could handle some babies sans father, but a robot sex doll that can speak to you is just beyond unnatural.

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