IntenseDebate - mattiest

8 years ago @ The Toast - The Illegitimacy of Ar... · 0 replies · +8 points

God, I hope someone sends this to Stephen Colbert.

8 years ago @ The Toast - Every Comment On Every... · 2 replies · +20 points

Did you know that 400% of American women are wearing the wrong bra size?

The whole article could have been just that line and it would still have been perfect.

(I finally went to one of those Very Fancy Bra Stores -- in Manhattan, no less! -- to get Properly Sized and everything they gave me tried to shove my boobs to my chin while cutting off all bloodflow to my ribs and I left feeling like I'd learned that none of the internet comments are meant for girls with a B-cup and a co-dependent relationship with Uniqlo's wireless bras.)

8 years ago @ The Toast - Ender's Game · 0 replies · +11 points

Let's also not forget how all these elementary schoolers have the vocabulary and conversational capacity of full-grown adults. MR. CARD, HAVE YOU EVER EVEN MET A CHILD?

8 years ago @ The Toast - A List of Modern Relat... · 0 replies · +7 points

People you trash talked and/or never interacted with in grad school.

Other plus ones at your significant other's work party/alumni event.

The person you met at a party who keeps inviting you to game nights and juggling events in Facebook.

8 years ago @ The Toast - A List of Modern Relat... · 2 replies · +35 points

Drunk bathroom girls are my soulmates. Is there any relationship more pure or more instantaneously begun and finished?

8 years ago @ The Toast - If Gwyneth Paltrow Wer... · 0 replies · +12 points

That's just how Gwyneth likes you to be.

8 years ago @ The Toast - If Gwyneth Paltrow Wer... · 0 replies · +7 points

Well, this took a delightful turn for the Welcome to Night Vale-ian.

Fun fact, Gwyneth Paltrow's middle name is Eldritch.

8 years ago @ The Toast - The Secret To Having S... · 0 replies · +33 points

Ahahahaha, I could say 100% of this and have it be true about my family. Irish twins!

8 years ago @ The Toast - Many Waters · 0 replies · +3 points

I LOVE THIS BOOK MORE THAN POSSIBLY ALL OTHER BOOKS omg seeing it in the Toast sidebar made me almost choke on my tongue. Topless cavemen girls! Sexy angels! Unicornsssss! (I haven't even read the article yet, I had to come keymash this out first.)

9 years ago @ The Toast - CONTINUE? Y/N: A Short... · 0 replies · +5 points

Reminiscent of Kelly Link, especially The Library. (That's a very good thing.)

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