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My fave aspect of this story is that all these other people are going around blithely assuming that the clothes one wears automatically correspond 1:1 to a real and obvious fact about you, and our hero was just like... actually... I can put on any clothes I want. And because gender roles were not routinely flouted, they got away with it for so long! If there had been more androgynous looking people hanging around, people would have looked more closely at them and tried to puzzle them out before they got arrested for fornicating. And that allowed Thomas(ine) to not be read as androgynous in their daily life pre-trial but to be either/or as it suited them. Being freer because you're invisible.
Also, that what really bothered people was Thomas(ine) switching back and forth. Like Thomas(ine) was not just transgressing a boundary by dressing in the wrong clothes, but was just off on a different axis acting like there was no such thing as clothing wrongness. And that's the real issue. Like it's perfectly fine hanging around here being a weirdo but you have to be a legible weirdo. foucauldian af.
ETA: This dad made a bracket for his unborn grandchild, because "bracketology begins at conception"
that sort of thing
Sasha living my dream life
In my experience campus clinics expect you to be young and foolish, and treat you like a kid. If you go to an Adult Doctor's Office and present as a Serious Adult Patient, they are much more likely to assume you can make decisions for yourself (unfortunately). So if you're able to go to a big hospital, that may ultimately involve less anxiety.
I also started on meds recently, and they are fantastic. I didn't start until my anxiety went through the roof when I was pregnant, so I don't know if it would have helped when I was only a little anxious.
Re: reactions, it's always possible, but there are SSRIs that have been out there for decades and studied intensely, and the FDA is positive that the benefits outweigh the risks for most people. In the very first week of taking Zoloft I was nauseous a few times, but that was it. Other people I know have had similar, very mild side effects.
2) Discover some things about it are great and some are horrible
3) Try to find a better thing with more of the good parts and less of the bad parts
Seriously the best advice I would give my college-age self is to not wait until you think you know the perfect job or the perfect apartment or whatever, to just try things and refine your life choices from there. Did you spend all of college locked into the plan you made at freshman orientation? No one spends their twenties locked into something they thought of while they were in college either. You can only find out what works for you by trying it. In five years your shitty first real job is going to be a great story you tell people at parties.
ETA: What I'm trying to say is Don't be Aaron Burr. Be Alexander Hamilton. I have a college friend who super is Aaron Burr reincarnated and being fixated on fulfilling everyone's expectations of her from when she was in college is not making her happy.