74 comments posted · 1 followers · following 0

8 years ago @ Wonkette - All About the D*cks: Y... · 1 reply · +9 points

"He couldn’t have sex or play sports or wear pants, and for 17-year-olds two of those things are very important."

It's playing sports and wearing pants that are important to 17-year-olds, isn't it?

8 years ago @ Wonkette - Bobby Jindal Can't See... · 0 replies · +3 points

Point the first: I'm surprised they could get David "Diaper Shitter" Vitter to sit for Piyush's official portait. It's kind of impressive, really.

Point the second: Both the unofficial and official portraits look whiter than I am, and like mayo on everything.

Point the third: I actually contributed to the making of that portrait by virtue of state tax dollars. So like many other Louisianans, please allow me to say this: We are sorry, and f*ck Piyush Jindal. Maybe with votes, even. (Probably with votes.)

8 years ago @ Wonkette - The Sarah Palin Fartkn... · 0 replies · +13 points

...the teacher acted against school policy — I’d add she or he acted against the Constitution, too, by telling the student to put away the Bible — so, the principal understood part of this, anyway, not the teacher though.

No, you animated, bumpitted, screeching harpy, you don't get it. Even the venerated* Supreme Court has said on a few occasions that students' rights to things like freedom of expression and speech (and religion! perish the thought!) can be curtailed to some degree at the schoolhouse door. Look, I know that you didn't really study for that journamalismism degree, but fer the love of your god(s) you could at least pretend that somebody researched this for you. More than that, the teacher very much has the right to tell the idiotically-named child that maybe doesn't even exist to put away a book and PAY SOME F*CKING ATTENTION TO WHAT IS BEING TAUGHT. I don't think he'll learn to solve 3x[plus]2^y=42 from the goddamned (heh) Bible. [Edited the equation; sorry. Brain running on three cylinders and bourbon.]

Also: Are you related to that guy Leo on "Worst Cooks in America"? Because you both seem to have the same idea on a new pair of glasses each week. And you're both incomprehensibly stoopid. (ETA: Leo calls himself a "performance artist." So...yeah, must be related to the Grifta from Wasilla.)

*Well, you venerate the Supreme Court when it agrees with you, anyway...

8 years ago @ Wonkette - Megastar Country Music... · 0 replies · +6 points

Saw this on Sean Manatee's show last night. (I only watched it because my blood pressure was getting low.) My only reaction was "Gee, I know the guy is from Florida and was INPEECHED!!!! by the Senate back in the 80s as a federal judge, but...he's also right. Texas is terrible.

Also, Wonkette I'm disappointed in you. You haven't picked up the terrible stupidity that is Piyush Jinsal's official gubernatorial portrait. Daily Kos had it two days ago (I think), and it was hilarious.

8 years ago @ Wonkette - Rand Paul Does Not Car... · 0 replies · +5 points

I'm Board Certified in Fetishistic Practices and Sexual Kinks. That's right--double specialty, bitches!

8 years ago @ Wonkette - SC Republican Just Wan... · 1 reply · +3 points

Hm. What part of Pennsylvania? I'm told that pretty much everything between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh may as well be in the South.

8 years ago @ Wonkette - SC Republican Just Wan... · 4 replies · +9 points

As a lifelong resident of the Deep South, the phrase "bless your heart" is ingrained in me. It makes me giggle to use that phrase on customer service representatives from the Northeast, the West, and the Midwest. None of them understand that it essentially means "f*ck you."

8 years ago @ Wonkette - SC Republican Just Wan... · 0 replies · +5 points

Is it a hate crime to assault* such a nice young legislator simply because he is such a nice young legislator--or is that a hate crime?

*With votes, natch

8 years ago @ Wonkette - SC Republican Just Wan... · 6 replies · +16 points

"Bless his heart," indeed. And if by "he meant well," you mean "he meant well for the wingnut voters who are more interested in what magical sky fairy a potential judge candidate likes than how harsh a potential judge candidate will be on violent crime and white collar crime and all crime, then...yeah.

Meanwhile, we in Louisiana have a state government facing a $1.4 billion budget shortfall, so our magnanimous governor wants to shove that shortfall onto higher education and healthcare because somehow Louisiana isn't completely in the shitter in those two areas. If this gets any worse, my undergrad alma mater will be shut down in about a year, maybe two.

8 years ago @ Wonkette - People Who Think About... · 1 reply · +3 points

I just had to drop by and drop this non-snarky bit:

Bob Newhart has earned more of my respect. Gary Sinise has earned a little of his back after the stupidity regarding the American <s>Psycho</s> Sniper film.