Awkward bursts at holiday dinners.
This is exactly how it happened with Jesus. He turned the other cheek, put down his gun and ransomed our souls. No, wait. That was Ghandi.
I never understood why anyone would care about the existence of bigfoot, one way or the other. Ron Jeremy is real. What more do these people want?
I miss being terrified of WMDs for no sane reason.
MOAR tax cuts! Right? right? ... c'mon guys. Something something, tax cuts!
"Particularly apparent since his last fraudulent election to the Office of the President in 2012, it has also become crystal clear that he simply hates people of the white race, even though he is one half white himself."
Imagine if he had a point there. It's an idiotic point, but I like to imagine that he was as surprised as he claims he was.
Billable time spent watching a progress bar while all your updated collateral files transferred to your company's wretched FTP server - 95%.
the drunken screaming and makeup fucking every single fucking night
Totally willing to put up with the first for the second.