42 comments posted · 20 followers · following 0

7 years ago @ The Toast - Go On, Get Out Of Here · 0 replies · +3 points

The pain is real.

7 years ago @ The Toast - A note on The Toast · 0 replies · +5 points


7 years ago @ The Toast - Portraits Of "The Wrat... · 1 reply · +48 points

Does anyone else ever think the penis covers were added afterwards? Like the painter finished and left the room all happy and sweaty and covered in spots of blue paint (I'm not a painter so....I'm assuming this is what painting is like).

And then his apprentice or mother or cat comes in and is like 'eeeeek!' we can't have that! and quickly covers the offending parts with no regard to form or function or physics.

7 years ago @ The Toast - How To Tell If You Are... · 0 replies · +16 points

The Toast was the Fellowship. Mallory and Nicole and all the writers were the members, and we lost some and gained some, but now they must separate and go on their disparate quests and some will meet again one day and take to the sea.

The Fellowship is at an End. Godspeed to all.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Paintings Of The Tortu... · 1 reply · +41 points

Totally read this as Lilac Furrows too. Twice.

I was happy not knowing the phrase Cum Gutters. Toast, why?!??

7 years ago @ The Toast - If Barack Obama Were Y... · 0 replies · +7 points

GREAT way to finish strong. Just like Barack.

7 years ago @ The Toast - Two Recipes for Cheese... · 0 replies · +4 points

Smitten Kitchen is the best! I love her cookbook (had the joy of meeting her and having her sign my copy!)

7 years ago @ The Toast - Two Recipes for Cheese... · 1 reply · +50 points

I once bravely announced that I would make a mango cheesecake for a holiday meal involving lots of family and judgemental cousins. And since I was a stubborn teenager, I wanted to do it ALL MYSELF. It was a complex recipe that involved pre-baking the crust, making the filling base in one bowl, then peeling /pureeing mangos into another bowl, then mixing the two together to bake for 1.5 hours (!).

Of course I started the recipe too late in the day and and had to hurry. About 25 minutes into the bake cycle I suddenly noticed the full bowl of mango puree on the counter and realized I HAD FORGOTTEN TO MIX THE TWO BATTERS!

I spent the next 10 frantic minutes pulling the steaming-hot cheesecake out of the oven, scooping the batter out into a bowl trying not to destroy the cookie crust, then mixing the puree with the batter and gently ladling it all back into the crust and re-setting the timer, barely holding back tears as family members started to stop by.

Long story short, the cheesecake came out surprisingly near-perfect, and was delicious. Since then I have lost all fear of baking. (My mom called it 'trial by mango cheesecake' and knighted me co-queen of kitchen with a wooden spoon)

7 years ago @ The Toast - When You Smile: On Hum... · 0 replies · +13 points

" If I can make you laugh, maybe you won’t laugh at me."

Literally the entire basis of my self-esteem.

7 years ago @ The Toast - A Meat Processing Prof... · 0 replies · +6 points

And believe me I am still alive!
I'm doing science and I'm still alive!
And when you're dead I will be still alive!
Still alive....