IntenseDebate - kabrathw

14 years ago @ nikki - Reality versus Education · 0 replies · +1 points

The only thing I can say I didn't like (not that it matters) was the last few sentences. I think it's good to connect the paper to this class but the "intelligent participation" part seems judgemental to me. How would you define intelligent participation (contact zones would not allow students to feel like they were not intelligent)? I think my reaction would've been different if you had omitted intelligent. However, I'm not as bold with my writing and I think that made the difference for me.

Good job!!

14 years ago @ nikki - Reality versus Education · 0 replies · +1 points

I think you used quotes effectively throughout the paper, especially when talking about the values society says it has. I was actually sorry to hear that you were disappointed when entering the classroom but then relieved as I continued to read and learned you "...broke free of the chains that bound you to that false reality." That paragraph was compelling to me. I had a strong appeal and I felt drawn in. It was simply stated and powerful at the same time.

Overall, I think you did a fantastic job. Your paper brought out a lot of feelings from me. I was upset when you got an F, disappointed wehn you walked into the classroom, and liberated when you developed a different view about the purpose of education.

14 years ago @ nikki - Reality versus Education · 0 replies · +1 points

Well Nikki, you did a nice job with this revision. You were able to maintain/stick with the thoughts and ideas in the original version but you gave it more appeal. I think you did a better job explaining "The Allegory of the Cave" and connecting it with "Arts of the Contact Zones." Especially when comparing the prisoners with students today.

Your example from high school shows how standing out in the educational system can be mistaken for rebellion and is punished instead of encouraged. It's sad that students have to sometimes inhibit themselves to advance and suffer consequences that can be detrimental (especially in your case) when they decide to release their inhibitions. At the end of that paragraph you said you remembered the reason you decided to express your opposing opinions in your final paper. I'd like to know what that reason was. Was it because you were tired of mimicing your teachers' opinions or because you felt expressing your true opinion was an opportunity to learn more effectively? Perhaps it was both or something else.

14 years ago @ nikki - Assignment #4: Reality... · 0 replies · +1 points

Hi Nikki! I really enjoyed reading your paper. It was refreshing and well written. I like your examples in the beginning and I think you did well relating them to the assignment. I think you should include a little more info about the contact zone but other than that, I don't have much to say. Great job!

14 years ago @ nikki - Feminist Poetry: Admir... · 0 replies · +1 points

When you talk about “Planetarium,” I think you should explain what you meant by, “the battle of love versus egoism.” I like how you relate Caroline to Rich and her writings. I did not think of it that way. Thanks for the insight.

Towards the end of your paper, you describe Rich’s story to be pointless and that angry tone becomes a bit offensive. For example, say you don’t like the way you’re being treated by someone and you decide to talk to them about it and the issue is resolved. For you, this may be a major accomplishment and it would be rude for me to tell you your feelings were not real and they are still treating you the same. I’m not saying you should change your approach or style of writing because I like it and it’s unique. Perhaps you should soften it a bit.

I think you did a good job on your paper and it brought out a lot of emotion from me as I read it (I appreciate that). You did a great job connecting your introduction to the conclusion and I enjoyed reading it. Also, I think we have to cite properly when using quotes. Well done!!!

14 years ago @ nikki - Feminist Poetry: Admir... · 0 replies · +1 points

Hi Nikki!! I read your paper and I find your view to be interesting. Right from the beginning I get that you are angry with Rich’s views and opinions. I don’t know much about the feminists’ movement but I don’t think they wanted to be pacified to or receive better treatment because they’re women. I also think it’s important to remember the time in which some of the poems were written. I agree that businesses should not have to hire females over males or blacks over whites if they are not qualified. I do however, recognize that sometimes they are not hired for the same reason, so that’s not equal opportunity either.

As I read your paper, I see that you understand the reading and you interpret it well. At the end of the second paragraph you quote, “…that female fatigue of suppressed anger and loss of contact from my own being; partly from the discontinuity of female life with its attention to small chores, errands, work that others constantly undo, small children’s constant needs”. I would like to know what you think this quote is saying; what’s your interpretation?

14 years ago @ Daily Blog - Smile For The Camera? · 0 replies · +1 points

You allow the reader to relate to Hirsch's theory but you also capture the emotion of Said's writing. It was nice to see you give your opinion about each writing and how authentic you felt they were. I did not think about that myself. I think you did a good job overall and I would be surprised if you didn't get an A in this course. I did get a little confused by the pictures at the end. Maybe you should talk about Mohr's pic a little more. Your essay is clear, to the point, and easy to read. Also, I think you should try to incorporate a little more from your source other than the book (unless you've already met your research requirement).

14 years ago @ Daily Blog - Smile For The Camera? · 0 replies · +1 points

Hi Eric! Of course, I've read your essay and I think you did a good job. I am always surprised at how quickly and easily I'm able to read your essays. I like your introduction and how it leads up to the difference between the photos presented in HIrsch's and Said's writings. You set the reader up and it is obvious that you are going to explain those differences. You give a good summary of Said's writing and I think it was nice to include the reason he did not take the pictures himself. I think you effectively compare and contrast Hirsch's theory of postmemory and Saids own memory.

14 years ago @ kabrathw - Can A Camera Be Misused? · 0 replies · +1 points

Thank you. I forgot to check the citing.

14 years ago @ kabrathw - Can A Camera Be Misused? · 0 replies · +1 points

Thanks for reading my essay. I know that you are not in my group. I will read your essay as well and offer some comments.

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