en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/757062 Comments by jerseyshore https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69861153 This letter was beautifully written and the fact that the writer did not graduate high school was astounding. It really was a touching letter and definitely an eye opener. I have been to a prison before: not a high maximum-security prison or anything hardcore, but a prison nonetheless. The person in that prison was my older brother who was charged with vehicular homicide. My brother made a stupid mistake and got behind the wheel of a car after drinking three beers under the age of twenty-one. After a mechanical failure caused his car to swerve, the car hit a tree and sent all the passengers flying from the car. One kid landed under the car and died from internal bleeding. Yes, it was an accident, but my brother did not do the right thing and went to jail for it. Before going to visit him for the first time in prison, I had so many thoughts going through my head about what the people in jail were like. I was extremely biased thinking that all these other people deserved to be in jail and were evil (except my brother). I thought all the inmates would be these evil, hardened criminals. I was scared of what kind of people I would encounter and scared that something was going to happen. I was wrong. When I visited, I saw family members running to meet their loved ones. I saw little children running towards their dads waiting to be scooped up. I saw the light in their eyes when they got to see their children, girlfriends, wives, brothers, sisters, etc. Yes, they are in prison and probably did something to put themselves there, but we should not be so quick to judge them or dismiss their intelligence, compassion, personality, or anything else. My brother made some great friends while he was in prison. Most of them were convicted of things dealing with drugs or getting into fights; nothing as serious as murder, but they were “criminals” nonetheless. But these words we use to describe people in jail have such a negative connotation behind them, and we unfairly judge people in jail immediately upon hearing the word criminal or prisoner or felon. People make mistakes, people do things in the heat of the moment, people are not perfect. I am not condoning murder, because I do not think it is right, but we should not be so quick to judge others before we really get to know them. All criminals are not heartless, soulless people. They have emotions, they have compassion, they have knowledge. Each person has a story and has something to offer. Do not be so quick to judge by a label or by misconceptions. Fri, 23 Apr 2010 03:03:53 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment69861153 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/women__trashed/#IDComment68232489 Women, for the most part, are complex, emotional creatures that like to connect with others, but the society we live in makes women obsess about appearance whether it is over boob size, waist size, skin tone, body shape, etc. The play in class hit the nail on the head with women and boobs. Although the play was flipped, portraying a young woman wanting to get her breasts reduced to nothing, it gives an accurate description of what women struggle with daily because of what society tells us is beautiful. Women with big breasts are glamorized. Small-chested women seem to be portrayed as less sexy. Hooters girls with big, fake boobs are seen as sexy and attractive. I do not think there are a wide variety of women of different shapes and sizes in the media. If an actress, like Jessica Simpson for instance, gains five or ten pounds, there is uproar in Hollywood. Actresses are skinny, have beautiful skin, and are perfect. Models in magazines are completely flawless. This is not what a normal woman looks like, so why do we continue to buy magazines where the women do not look real? We see women on covers of magazines in a bikini looking perfectly toned and flawless, but we do not realize as a consumer how much photo shopping and airbrushing was done to the picture. We get these ideas that that is what we need to look like and go to great lengths, and sometimes drastic lengths, to look like those images. Moms are giving their daughters breast enhancements as sweet sixteen presents. Are we crazy? Why do we manipulate and damage our bodies? If we were not born that way, then that is not the way we should look. There are so many ads about losing weight and having that “perfect” body, but why can’t we just be satisfied with what we look like? We always want what we do not have. If we are too “fat,” then we want to be skinny. If we are too skinny, then we want to put on a little weight. If our hair is curly, we want pin straight hair. If our hair is pin straight, we want curly hair. I even noticed this last night and my friends and I were getting ready to go out. One girl said she wanted her boobs to be bigger, and another wanted hers to be smaller. Just be happy with what you have! Everyone is beautiful in her own way. We do not need photo-shopped women in magazines and edited women in movies to tell us what we should look like. How we look is how we should look as long as we respect ourselves. Thu, 15 Apr 2010 16:54:02 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/women__trashed/#IDComment68232489 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/is-quality-the-question__trashed/#IDComment65596470 Sam’s class on affirmative action changed the way I viewed affirmative action. I never really knew much about it until this class, and always just assumed it was a negative thing because I heard so many others (other white people) complain about it. Now that we talked about it in class and did a little research on it, I think I understand it more, and do not see much harm in it. I feel like people have this big misconception that affirmative action gives jobs to just anyone. There are standards that need to be met. A hospital is not just going to give someone a job as a doctor if they are not qualified. I do not think that the quality of work would go down either. If two people are competing for a job, both with the same resume, Sam told us that the person with a “white” name would get the job most of the time. Affirmative action would require a certain percentage of employees to be of disadvantaged minority groups. So if these companies that mainly hire the people with “white” names were required to fulfill a certain standard of diversity, then maybe they would pick the equally qualified person of an ethnic minority. As for nepotism, however, I would say that this is a lot worse than affirmative action. Affirmative action has more set standards, where nepotism does not. With nepotism, a family member can be given a job without even meeting high qualifications over someone who is much more qualified. This would make the quality of service decrease much more than with affirmative action. One of the kids that responded during class said that he did not see why nepotism was seen as such a negative thing and that it was fair, while affirmative action is not. People in higher social classes have an unfair advantage of meeting and networking with other people of high job status. It does not need to be seen as negative, but that does not make it fair. Affirmative action is there to help even the playing field and give lower class people the same opportunities as others of a higher class. Nepotism gives family members unfair job advantages. Those benefitting from nepotism, for the most part, do not need the extra help or step up to get a job. In the end, nepotism and affirmative action are both unfair, but affirmative action happens on such a low scale and affects hardly anyone. Nepotism on the other hand is definitely more noticeable and widespread. If anything, those against affirmative action probably benefit from nepotism. Affirmative action is the least any of us can do to help even the playing field and help bring about social equality. Fri, 2 Apr 2010 19:48:21 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/is-quality-the-question__trashed/#IDComment65596470 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/flip-the-script-for-a-moment__trashed/#IDComment64205581 Okay so when Sam started talking about women bleeding in class it caused a huge uproar, myself included. It just is not something I am comfortable with talking about. Then we talked about it in section, and it still felt weird and awkward talking about it, especially in front of boys. Then, I started thinking about it even more and questioned why something as natural as having a menstrual cycle was such an awkward subject. Sam is right. Men and media especially make women feel a certain way about their bodies. I feel like men are not educated enough about the menstrual cycle and they think it is so disgusting and gross. Men have this notion that women are just gushing blood and are cranky b****** when it is their time of the month for no reason. Men do not know what it is like. When I have my period, I feel gross and uncomfortable and do not feel like myself. I keep it to myself and do not talk about it, especially to guys, because they will just freak out. But why should I have to keep it a secret from guys that I am on my period? Why do men make it seem that it has to be hush hush because they cannot handle the fact that I need to bleed once a month so that I can have babies? It is the same thing about women’s weight. The number of a woman’s weight is another big secret just like their periods. Men can weigh whatever they want and it is no big deal, but if a women has a little bit of meat on her it is seen as negative and not beautiful. Why? Because we see media thousands of times a day, and skinny photo shopped women are everywhere. Men and women alike have it drilled into their heads that this is what women should look like, and it is not. The women in magazines are not normal. They are not real. So why do we feel the need to look like that? Why do we feel the need to hide our weight? Why should we feel embarrassed because we are not one hundred pounds of skin and bone? Why don’t we talk about race? Why do we just sit and watch things happen and not stand up and say anything? Sam is right. If we do not ask questions, if we do not question our culture, then nothing is going to change. Our culture, our society, our parents, the media, everything influences us. Sometimes we just go with the flow without ever realizing it. If we took a step back and looked again, we would question so much more, and maybe things would continue to change. Don’t stop questioning. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:56:42 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/flip-the-script-for-a-moment__trashed/#IDComment64205581 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/does-this-rudeness-thing-cut-both-ways__trashed/#IDComment62790520 It is hard to have a discussion and take a poll about any serious question with such a large group, because anonymity makes people brave and immature, and they will say whatever they want, no matter whom they offend. When white people answered the question “What does it mean to you to be ‘white,’” some people took it seriously and said that it was just a skin color, or that it meant being superior, having unearned privilege, etc. Some people did make stupid comments like about people wearing UGG boots, which I thought was pretty immature, but not so much offensive. When people of color were then asked to respond, some of the comments were pretty hurtful and mean, but not all. I guess maybe that was the point of the exercise, to see how white people are viewed, but it just made me sad more than anything else. A lot of people wrote stuck up, rich, snobby, lazy, etc. I probably could have sent a text to respond, but I just sat there and accepted it. I do not remember what was said, but when someone said something offensive about people of color, there was a big gasp and reaction from the people of color. When white people were being made fun of and unfair comments were being made, the class was silent. I am not really sure why this happens. I think why people of color take more offense than white people is because of history. White people have been the oppressors and now they must take responsible and blame for things that have happened in the past, so white people sit there and take the abuse and the rudeness. People of color, after being put down for so long, will not tolerate any negative comments and are less tolerant. This is all just my thoughts and opinion. People are people and I do not think anyone should be allowed to talk down or be rude to anyone based on skin color or anything else for that matter. I think that the problem with this poll was that it was anonymous and people just said whatever they wanted, whether they meant it to be hurtful or just to be funny. Either way, things were said that were offensive to both groups. If put into a discussion group or forced to give their answer in the microphone in front of the class, I am sure the rude comments would never have been said. Like Sam said, if you cannot come in front of the class and say your comment, then do not even send it to the poll. People ignored this comment from Sam and posted whatever they wanted anyway, and it just caused people to get offended. If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:49:26 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/does-this-rudeness-thing-cut-both-ways__trashed/#IDComment62790520 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/whats-with-the-theme-parties__trashed/#IDComment59941697 I have not been to many theme parties in my life, but the few that I have been to were pretty fun and not racist. I guess theme parties are an excuse to dress up differently, instead of the normal going out clothes, and make the night more entertaining. It is just a fun thing to do and nothing that I would think as harmful or hurtful to other people. When I think of theme parties I think of holiday parties like St. Patrick’s Day or Ugly Christmas Sweater Parties, etc. I have been to Toga Parties, Mustache Parties, Jersey Shore Parties, and have heard of many other theme parties like White Trash Parties, Golf Pros and Tennis Hoes, and Business Hoes and Ceos parties. I do not think that any of these parties intentionally try to make fun of or degrade any certain group of people; I think it is just a way for everyone to dress differently and laugh about it. When I first heard the question being asked, I was just really confused. Off the top of my head I could not think of one party that I went to that was specifically aimed toward making fun of black people. I wish that the girl that asked the question had given an example of a theme party that was geared towards that. Looking at one of the later blogs, however, I saw that some students made a theme party towards dressing ghetto. Yes, I can see why people would be offended by that, but isn’t it even a little funny that extremely white people dress up in the hip-hop style? I don’t think people (at least not all people) that think of parties try and come up with a theme with the intent of offending anyone. The “ghetto” theme party is the only one I can think of that would even be the tiniest bit offensive and maybe it is just the term being used that offends people. I would definitely disagree with the statement that most theme parties are geared towards making fun of black people, because I do not think that is the case at all. Maybe some parties can be, but most of them are not. If anything, I feel like most parties are aimed at making fun of parts of white culture. The Jersey Shore theme parties can be offensive to Italians I guess, but I don’t take offense to it and I am both Italian and from the jersey shore. Some things people just need to laugh off and not turn into a huge deal. If you take offense to everything, you will always be upset about something. Any theme party that I have heard of or encountered has never been racist, and I hope it stays that way. Fri, 5 Mar 2010 21:31:52 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/whats-with-the-theme-parties__trashed/#IDComment59941697 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/when-do-we-do-or-say-something__trashed/#IDComment58885222 When we watched the video of the experiment with the Muslim woman going into the store and the man saying offensive things to her, it made me really mad and upset. When people just stood there and did not say anything, it made me want to shake them. The people that did stand up for her made me happy. I am glad to know that not everyone is afraid to stand up for a fellow American with different customs. When the man was yelling at the guy behind the counter saying to leave her alone, that he was being offensive, and that he has a son fighting or in Iraq, it made me really emotional. I guess it is a stereotype of older white people I have that they are more ignorant and less accepting of other people, but that man proved me wrong, and that got to me. As I watched the video, I tried to put myself in that position as a bystander. I tried to think of what I would have done. I would find it extremely difficult to listen to someone be that offensive and not have anything to say about it. Some people did side with the guy behind the counter, but most people just did not say anything and went on their way. I can kind of understand people not wanting to speak up for fear of what others would think or fear of it not being their place, but it is people like them that need to learn to speak up because they are the majority. If those twenty-two people did speak up, I am sure a majority of them would have sided with the woman. Everyone needs to speak up and speak out if they believe something is wrong, or the injustice, racism, and ignorance will only continue. Yes, we have freedom of speech in the United States and that man had a right to say what he wanted to say, but if someone is being slandered or hurt by his words, then someone needs to take action against it. If anything, the Muslim woman would not feel so alienated knowing that there are people out there that do not judge or criticize her for being Muslim. Maybe the man behind the counter would start to realize that not everyone believes the same way as him if more people would speak out and stand up to him. It is our place and everyone’s place to stand up for others. We should not just sit back and let things like this happen without taking a stand. If more people did speak up, then things like this would be much less likely to happen in the first place. Fri, 26 Feb 2010 22:53:52 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/when-do-we-do-or-say-something__trashed/#IDComment58885222 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-five__trashed/#IDComment57689754 This class was definitely my favorite thus far because I did not really know what to expect when I first walked in. I was never against gay marriage, although my religion disapproves of it, but after sitting through the class and hearing Sam lecture, I feel more strongly about the issue and feel more passionate about my standpoint on the issue. What Sam said in class was exactly correct. Hypocrisy is a big problem when it comes to the religious argument of gay marriage. So many people against gay marriage have gone against the words of the Bible in so many ways. No one is perfect. So to sit back and say that two gay people cannot be married for religious reasons is unfair. Another issue is that marriage is supposed to be for life. The person you marry is the person you are supposed to be with forever. If the sacrament of matrimony is so sanctified, then why is it that fifty percent of marriages are ending in divorce? Most divorces are probably because of one or both spouses having an affair, something clearly stated in the Ten Commandments. That is not following the Bible or the word of God either. Gay people have to go through so much more to even find a partner, to be open with people about their sexuality and hope to be accepted for it, to be together under scrutiny. They endure so much more than heterosexual couples have to, making their bond and relationship stronger. They would covet being married more than a heterosexual couple would. The chances of them staying together after marriage is much more likely, so why not? God created people the way he wanted them to be. If they are gay, then that is the way God chose them to be. They should not be persecuted or treated as lepers because of whom they are attracted to or in love with and should not be denied marriage. A child does not choose to be gay, and to deny them the same things as their peers, such as marriage, would be unfair. It was not their choice. It was how they were born. Maybe the issue lies in the word itself; marriage. Maybe the definition of the word should be altered to include all unions between any two people instead of it being defined as a religious ceremony to unite a man and woman as husband and wife. Then would people have a problem with it? I feel like the biggest argument against gay marriage is the religious factor. Seeing as how the corporate world has been so accepting of the homosexual community, I feel as though in the future, gay couples will be able to get married. Unless you are a perfect person and follow the Bible to the “T”, I don’t see how you can still be against gay marriage. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 23:25:59 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-five__trashed/#IDComment57689754 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/why-is-the-conversation-always-about-black-and-white-people__trashed/#IDComment56451165 This blog post stood out to me a lot. When someone mentions race relations to me, my mind immediately jumps to black and white people. I guess I never really thought about why that was and this blog really made me think about it more. In the video, she mentions that black and white people have a long history together, and widely a very negative one. This country started out as mainly white Europeans until many slaves were brought here. It makes sense, as others have said, that the country used to be mainly just black and white. Black slaves lived a harsh, cruel, unjust life and were under the hand of white oppression for such a long period of time, that the pain, suffering, and resentment still seem to linger. The history between these two races, especially in this country, has been such a rocky one, that it is the most talked about. We start learning U.S. History at young ages, and slavery, the Civil War, segregation, and the Civil Rights Movement are definitely big topics of interest. Maybe this is another reason why black and white is often the topic of conversation in race dialogues. There is so much history between white and black people, especially here in the United States, which makes it so prominent in such conversations. Other people mentioned upbringing and not being directly told about racial differences, but rather they just picked up on it through their environment and surroundings. My parents never told me about race, nor do I remember when I began to pick up on the fact that other people were a different shade of skin than I was. I just remember that the main racial divide was between black and white people because it seemed much more common to find a black person in my town than a “brown” person. What we learned about in history class in school was also focused on topics about black people. My parents never really told me what to think either. I formed my own opinions and find that my opinions vary vastly from what my parents believe. This gives me hope that times are changing and that people are changing and maybe, one day, race won’t matter at all. I feel as each generation goes by, such racial conflict is becoming less and less evident. During my parents’ generation, interracial relationships were not allowed. Still today, many people have a problem with interracial relationships, but I feel as if our generation is becoming more accepting of these relationships. Even if it is just a baby step toward racial equality, it is still at least a little bit closer to a better, equal world. Fri, 12 Feb 2010 06:31:47 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/why-is-the-conversation-always-about-black-and-white-people__trashed/#IDComment56451165 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/negros-of-the-world-unite__trashed/#IDComment55533565 This article says a lot about our changing society. I think this is a case where political correctness causes a lot more problems than it is worth. I understand the government is not trying to step on any toes, but when there are so many different races, ethnicities, terms people call themselves, and terms some people find offensive and others do not it is hard to accommodate everyone. With changing times, new names or terms are considered politically correct where others become offensive or outdated. It seems as if the term Negro is being used a lot less for people to identify themselves. I think the census should just leave it on there, if anything, to accommodate the people who still use the term and wait until the term dies out completely. The term is slowly being weeded out and will not be used by anyone soon enough. Taking the term out completely will offend a lot of people who still use it. It seems that having this question on the census, however, is more of a hassle than anything. It is understandable that the government is trying to keep up with these changes, but why not just do away with question completely? So many people complain about something or other. Not everyone is going to be satisfied. Some words are offensive to some people and not seen as offensive to others. I understand the government wants to keep track of the growing diversity in this country, but why not just let it be? As time goes on, people are becoming more and more diverse. The racial line is becoming more and more blurred. Asking people to check a single box is becoming a much more difficult feat. In response to a few other people’s posts about the Census Bureau, I do not think that the people working there are racist, old, or not trying to keep up with the times. Yes, the term Negro is offensive to some, but some people, at least 56,000, still use the term. So if the Census Bureau did not include the term, they would be racist for ignoring those that identify themselves as Negro, but if they use the term, they are racist as well. The Census Bureau is in a lose-lose situation. I think as a whole, a lot of people look down on the government and their actions and are very critical, but we need to give them a break sometime. Obviously they are putting some effort in if they are trying to make changes to the census. This article is a reflection of American society, our views of the government, and how society as a whole is continuing to change demographically. Fri, 5 Feb 2010 22:09:53 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/negros-of-the-world-unite__trashed/#IDComment55533565 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/01/the-enlightened-west-knows-best__trashed/#IDComment54311936 I agree with Sam that once again the “enlightened West” thinks it knows best. It is understandable why so many people are afraid of big governments because this is what happens; women are banned from wearing clothing related to their religious beliefs because of a government overstepping its boundaries. Not only does the government want to ban burqas, but they also want to fine up to a thousand dollars if women are wearing them in public. That is absolutely ridiculous. Who and what are they trying to protect? The article said that less than two thousand women still wear the full burqas, so why is it such a threat? Why can’t they be left alone? One reason they gave was that women were being oppressed by men and told to wear this clothing so the government is doing them a “favor” by banning the burqas. Most of these women, as seen in the video, wear the burqas under their own volition, some of which do it against their husband’s will. If they want to wear them, then they should be allowed to! Others mainly scrutinize women about wearing too little clothing. Now women are being targeted for wearing too much clothing? I also agree with what Sam said in this blog post that the government wants to turn these women into more “enlightened” citizens. The government is promoting conformity. These women are not harming anyone, and they are not offending anyone, so why should they have to change what they wear? The government is punishing these women for no reason and saying that their clothing promotes fundamentalism as their excuse for such actions. How come women that walk around wearing risqué and promiscuous clothing that promote sex are not targeted then? Why doesn’t the government just provide a dress code, a uniform for everyone to wear, so that everyone looks the same and cannot show their true identities through their clothing, an expression of themselves? I also did not like how some Muslims agree that a full burqa is unnecessary and agreed with the government’s decision. If these women want to wear full covering, then why can’t they? They are doing nothing wrong. The women made a point that if they needed to take their covering off for identification, then they would do so, but did not think it was fair to not be able to wear their burqas in public. It is not like they refuse to comply at all and are being unreasonable. They are just practicing their faith the way they believe and want to practice it. It also made me angry that more than fifty percent of the population agreed about the ban. Why does it matter so much to them? This article leaves me nothing but frustrated and annoyed. Fri, 29 Jan 2010 06:01:36 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/01/the-enlightened-west-knows-best__trashed/#IDComment54311936 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/01/last-name-begins-with-b__trashed/#IDComment53873526 hey! Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:37:27 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/01/last-name-begins-with-b__trashed/#IDComment53873526 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/01/haitis-calamity__trashed/#IDComment53092140 Along with a few of the other blog posters, I attended Catholic school for a few years and taught religious classes and Bible School for years as well. At times, I questioned my beliefs about God and that He had a plan for us all, because I could never understand why God would want us to suffer so much. Throughout my childhood, and still today, my faith was tested during hard times. Questioning my faith, however, made me grow stronger as a person, because through it all, my beliefs prevailed. Even though bad things happen, there is good that comes from it and I have seen that many times before in my short life so far. What happened in Haiti is something I cannot even begin to internalize. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose everything. After I heard about what happened in Haiti, it made me appreciate what I have even more. My friends and I always complain how we are broke college students, but really we are not. We are so fortunate here in America. Although the tremendous loss of life seems cruel and unjust, maybe God wanted to open the eyes of the rest of the world, especially us here in the United States. We are going through economic hardship in this country, but even so, we are so much more fortunate than those in Haiti and this event helped to open the eyes of so many people, especially here at home. Seeing the devastation in Haiti has brought out a lot of good in people. Instead of focusing on the negatives in our lives, we can focus on helping those that are so much less fortunate. So many organizations, people, and countries are trying to help in any way they can. People are donating their money, their supplies, their skills, etc. to help these people begin to recover. Before this event, people were not as thankful and appreciative of what they have. It is a shame that such devastation has to occur for people to realize how good they have it. Months from now, the images of the earthquake and its aftermath will no longer be all over the news. People will soon forget about what happened and go back to their normal lives dwelling over things without realizing how lucky they are. As Isabella said in a previous post, it is important for people to remember this tragedy and not forget the devastating loss of life, the tremendous amount of kindness and good shown from people all over the world, and the unity of so many peoples and places helping Haiti recover. We need to remember how lucky we are and to never take anything for granted. Everything happens for a reason, whatever that big or small reason may be. Wed, 20 Jan 2010 23:35:22 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/01/haitis-calamity__trashed/#IDComment53092140