IntenseDebate - isdzan

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - The Trouble With Onlin... · 8 replies · +3 points

Evvery other week seems reasonable, especially if you figure in time to find some folks you want to date who also want to date you, some scheduling conflicts (as always happens with adults), etc. The bigger issue would be if you find someone to date and you want to see them more often and you have run out of free/cheaper date ideas.

Free/cheap dates are usually the most fun or interesting because they are usually more novel activities. Free night at the museum, movies in the park, city walking tours, book readings, lectures, concerts in parks, picnics, farmers markets, art shows/craft fairs, etc. can usually be done for under $10 per person (would have been $5 but picnics can be more expensive)

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - The Trouble With Onlin... · 0 replies · +1 points

He gave some really good advice, I thought, about how to message people that were likely to be highly compatible based on more than automatch. I liked the looking at profile names as a screening method. It seems like his methods would be more efficient.

Of course it does help that he has a lot of cool activities and experiences that he shares with the types of women he wants to meet. That has to be a bigger factor than any OLD techniques.

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How To Be Charming · 1 reply · +15 points

Dude give us women a bit of credit and allow us some agency in this. A guy turns on that charm, I am capable of deciding if it is real or fake and if I care. I am not some damsel in distress or someone who needs to be handled with kid gloves. Frankly, I find your argument a bit patronizing and demeaning.

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How Badly Do You Want It? · 6 replies · +6 points

Even in group social settings you have to get over the fear of talking to strangers. If you are new to the group, they are strangers. Having something in common might be easier to break the ice, but all the skills needed after that are the same as cold approach.

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How Badly Do You Want It? · 0 replies · +4 points

Picture your life. Would the addition of a partner make it better, beyond feeling like you should do it because other people do it? If you can't picture it and/or do not feel that the absence is more important than a box that needs checking, then you probably shouldn't sweat getting something you aren't really missing.

I have an uncle (as I do for most situations) who pretty much has had casual relationships his whole life and is content. Now that he is going on 60 he has a few steady casual partners. Honestly it is a model that I think would suit more people, but folks are hung up on having a relationship.

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - How Badly Do You Want It? · 0 replies · +8 points

Chemistry includes negative reactions (e.g. bad chemistry) too, so have you ever had an instant, bad reaction to someone? If yes, that is also chemistry. Good chemistry doesn't necessarily predict how a friendship, partnership, relationship, etc. will result, but it is an influence on whether or not the friend/partner/relationship progresses beyond the initial "person I know" phase.

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Redefining Failure · 1 reply · +1 points

Here you go :http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutting_(sport)

You use them to separate one cow out of the herd :)

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Redefining Failure · 3 replies · +4 points

Frustration is fine. I am sure DNL was frustrated during his comic book venture. It is only a problem when it either blocks you from success or blinds you to what you can do to improve and possibly succeed. Sometimes frustration can lock you into behaviors because you get so focused on trying to get what you want that you can't see that maybe the way you are doing it is wrong.

Classic example. When I was a kid I picked up this stray horse and tried to train it. I spent months getting kicked, bucked off, trampled, bitten etc.. I was dying from frustration because my grandpa said if I couldn't break him I'd have to let him go. We couldn't afford a horse that couldn't work. My auntie took me aside and told me my mistake was treating this horse like a domesticated (if untrained) horse. This was a wild horse and had to be approached as such. I was so frustrated by my failure that I didn't see that I missed the path. I'd locked into a pattern that was failing but was so frustrated that I could not see that what I was doing was the problem. Long story never ending, I finally broke him enough that a good rider could handle him and he is an amazing cutting horse.

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Where Do You Get Your ... · 2 replies · +5 points

I hear you. My hobbies are economics, foreign policy, long distance running, jingle dance, samba and reading. Only the dancing is quasi social, but not exactly something you can talk about to non-dancers or do in public outside a performance.

10 years ago @ Paging Dr. NerdLove - Where Do You Get Your ... · 0 replies · +4 points

LOL, I guess it depends on the person. I have aunties and cousins who make beading/embroidering a gossip fest because they are so good at it they don't need to think about what they are doing. They can do the beadwork and spank a kid getting into nonsense without missing a beat (as I learned the hard way). Hence the scowly face caveat.

IntenseDebate Comment System

Connect with isdzan

My blogs/sites

People I'm following

isdzan