en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/6718124 Comments by i_am_allwrite http://wonkette.com/564453/clip-save-your-handy-wonkette-review-of-part-of-dana-loeschs-new-book#IDComment903287113 Gary, is there a special thesaurus you use to get through a review like this without using the word "cunt"? Sun, 2 Nov 2014 18:35:02 +0000 http://wonkette.com/564453/clip-save-your-handy-wonkette-review-of-part-of-dana-loeschs-new-book#IDComment903287113 http://wonkette.com/564921/rachel-maddow-fillets-charlie-bakers-tearjerking-fisherman-story-video#IDComment901721429 That same thing happened to me. It was thanksgiving in 1989, and my friends and me were all on break from our freshman year in college, and I told them how school in California was INSANE!, and how I'd had a three-way with Winona Ryder and Shannen Doherty after this party in Venice, and then some chick said no way bro, I just read in People that Winona is in Europe filming Dracula. And after everyone was done laughing I was all, whatever dude, it was real for me. Fri, 31 Oct 2014 13:47:13 +0000 http://wonkette.com/564921/rachel-maddow-fillets-charlie-bakers-tearjerking-fisherman-story-video#IDComment901721429 http://wonkette.com/564838/bill-oreilly-will-throw-all-the-health-care-criminals-in-ebola-prison#IDComment900981369 Statistically you're about as likely to fuck Miley Cyrus this weekend as get Ebola. Quarantine is probably advisable in either case. Thu, 30 Oct 2014 16:01:42 +0000 http://wonkette.com/564838/bill-oreilly-will-throw-all-the-health-care-criminals-in-ebola-prison#IDComment900981369 http://wonkette.com/564762/mitch-mcconnell-is-not-an-animal-mitch-mcconnell-is-a-human-being1#IDComment900229037 It's easy to hate Mitch for employing the "I can say anything I want and these dumb fuckers'll believe it!" campaign strategy, but he's just a symptom: dumb fuckers are the disease. Wed, 29 Oct 2014 18:54:21 +0000 http://wonkette.com/564762/mitch-mcconnell-is-not-an-animal-mitch-mcconnell-is-a-human-being1#IDComment900229037 http://wonkette.com/564624/why-doesnt-the-plain-dealer-want-you-to-see-gov-kasich-being-an-asshat#IDComment899402470 I lived in that pisshole city for a few years, and reading the cumbersome rationalizations and exercises in self-delusion every year that were the PD's endorsements just made the voice in my head screaming "You've got to move out of this motherfucker!" rise to a shriek. Tue, 28 Oct 2014 18:37:35 +0000 http://wonkette.com/564624/why-doesnt-the-plain-dealer-want-you-to-see-gov-kasich-being-an-asshat#IDComment899402470 http://wonkette.com/561491/forbes-fires-contributor-for-being-too-real-frats-beware-those-dangerous-drunk-girls#IDComment880742017 Why do I think that Frezza is more emboldened to speak his mind by sealed records, hush money, and a gag order than by the first amendment? Thu, 25 Sep 2014 14:48:35 +0000 http://wonkette.com/561491/forbes-fires-contributor-for-being-too-real-frats-beware-those-dangerous-drunk-girls#IDComment880742017 http://wonkette.com/560795/your-penis-evolved-to-pleasure-the-females-its-science#IDComment878406383 By the end of the day that penis study will have been quoted out of context more frequently than the bible. Fri, 19 Sep 2014 12:42:33 +0000 http://wonkette.com/560795/your-penis-evolved-to-pleasure-the-females-its-science#IDComment878406383 http://wonkette.com/559634/ted-nugent-poops-pants-again#IDComment874657669 Ted's raising an army of people who got picked last in gym class and never got over it. Tue, 9 Sep 2014 14:27:57 +0000 http://wonkette.com/559634/ted-nugent-poops-pants-again#IDComment874657669 http://wonkette.com/559590/women-are-just-penis-homes-says-fired-pastor-rnc-job-offer-imminent#IDComment874393733 Once when I was drunk I referred to my dick as "God's penis," and believe it or not that shit came back to haunt me. Mon, 8 Sep 2014 21:20:43 +0000 http://wonkette.com/559590/women-are-just-penis-homes-says-fired-pastor-rnc-job-offer-imminent#IDComment874393733 http://wonkette.com/555778/can-you-even-milk-a-jew-they-are-not-cats#IDComment859980395 Boo Israel? Wasn't he the reluctant hero in "To Kill a Mockingjew"? Thu, 31 Jul 2014 14:22:25 +0000 http://wonkette.com/555778/can-you-even-milk-a-jew-they-are-not-cats#IDComment859980395 http://wonkette.com/555772/utah-language-school-fires-blogger-for-promoting-homophone-agenda#IDComment859978073 In the illustration, the sign for "right" is pointing to the disembodied guy's left hand. Why would they do that? What, homophones are somehow backwards? Is that what they're saying? Goddamn homophonophobes. Thu, 31 Jul 2014 14:14:34 +0000 http://wonkette.com/555772/utah-language-school-fires-blogger-for-promoting-homophone-agenda#IDComment859978073 http://wonkette.com/555494/geraldo-rivera-can-suck-my-41-year-old-dick#IDComment859299711 Pro tip: when even your clean undies smell like piss dribbles, it's time to stop opining about youthful women in a babymaking context. Tue, 29 Jul 2014 17:01:36 +0000 http://wonkette.com/555494/geraldo-rivera-can-suck-my-41-year-old-dick#IDComment859299711 http://wonkette.com/555136/motorcade-for-imperial-high-snotnose-obama-arrogantly-delays-pregnant-lady-inpeach#IDComment857859653 Do these idiots buy pre-bunched panties? Fri, 25 Jul 2014 15:11:35 +0000 http://wonkette.com/555136/motorcade-for-imperial-high-snotnose-obama-arrogantly-delays-pregnant-lady-inpeach#IDComment857859653 http://wonkette.com/554877/mcdonalds-fires-mom-who-let-daughter-go-to-park-by-herself-because-who-wants-a-troublemaker#IDComment857080254 The two best summers of my life were spent in Clayton, Missouri when I was 10 and 11. No, Clayton isn't a rural paradise, it's part of St. Louis (yet a separate town--St. Louis' jurisdiction laws are crazy). I would leave the house at 8 and be gone until out was dark outside. The first half of the day--(until 2) was at camp, which cost $20 for the summer for residents (socialism!) and included weekly field trips to waterparks, go-karts, but nothing educational, thank jeebus.) The rest of the time was just spent being a kid, roaming about town (an arcade just like the one in Fast Times at Ridgemont High's opening credits had just opened), but when we were out of money we mostly played at Shaw Park. While our parents worked!!! I don't recall any mass arrests by DSS. Meanwhile, here in the future, there is nothing for my 12-year old to do all summer that doesn't cost $350 a week or more. So, to sum up, fuck you McDonald's. Wed, 23 Jul 2014 13:57:41 +0000 http://wonkette.com/554877/mcdonalds-fires-mom-who-let-daughter-go-to-park-by-herself-because-who-wants-a-troublemaker#IDComment857080254 http://wonkette.com/554450/the-stupidest-man-on-the-internet-ran-a-bogus-story-that-shut-down-a-plan-to-help-border-children-hooray#IDComment854941967 That pool looks like a crooked penis. Thu, 17 Jul 2014 18:03:51 +0000 http://wonkette.com/554450/the-stupidest-man-on-the-internet-ran-a-bogus-story-that-shut-down-a-plan-to-help-border-children-hooray#IDComment854941967 http://wonkette.com/554433/the-stupidest-man-on-the-internet-found-some-mexicans-and-youll-never-guess-what-happened-next#IDComment854926239 For what it's worth, Concord is also a city, not a town, it doesn't have a sheriff, and the police chief hasn't said anything about allowing or not allowing illegals. Thu, 17 Jul 2014 17:02:45 +0000 http://wonkette.com/554433/the-stupidest-man-on-the-internet-found-some-mexicans-and-youll-never-guess-what-happened-next#IDComment854926239 http://wonkette.com/554250/iowa-was-surely-gods-favorite-damn-state-yesterday-because-brave-governor-signed-big-damn-prayer-proclamation#IDComment854324620 "Psst. I'm a humble servant of the lord. Tell fuckin' everybody!" Tue, 15 Jul 2014 19:02:02 +0000 http://wonkette.com/554250/iowa-was-surely-gods-favorite-damn-state-yesterday-because-brave-governor-signed-big-damn-prayer-proclamation#IDComment854324620 http://wonkette.com/554144/florida-town-shocked-shocked-to-find-kkk-members-in-police-force-for-second-time#IDComment853989324 Chief Isaacs added that he was particularly shocked because whenever they played "One More Thing I Know About the Negro" during diversity training, everybody wanted Deputy Chief Borst on their team. Mon, 14 Jul 2014 16:40:38 +0000 http://wonkette.com/554144/florida-town-shocked-shocked-to-find-kkk-members-in-police-force-for-second-time#IDComment853989324 http://wonkette.com/554051/gun-dealers-porn-stars-payday-lenders-darrell-issas-sexy-summer-break#IDComment853982274 "Such an expectation – if they are legitimate, they can prove it – is patently absurd, and is reminiscent of the formulation that “if one is not a witch, then they will sink rather than float,”" Issa said just minutes before calling for the summary execution of Bowe Bergdahl. Mon, 14 Jul 2014 16:11:28 +0000 http://wonkette.com/554051/gun-dealers-porn-stars-payday-lenders-darrell-issas-sexy-summer-break#IDComment853982274 http://wonkette.com/554097/tucker-carlson-would-like-you-to-know-hed-totally-fap-to-this-girl-who-shot-a-gazelle#IDComment853955361 Dating advice from Tucker Carlson? I thought he only fucked chickens. Mon, 14 Jul 2014 14:03:08 +0000 http://wonkette.com/554097/tucker-carlson-would-like-you-to-know-hed-totally-fap-to-this-girl-who-shot-a-gazelle#IDComment853955361