We talked a little bit about the Boston bombings in our discussion group and for the blog I want to let my stream of consciousness take over and let my thoughts flow. I first want to take note that I made a correction to my first sentence before editing I had typed “Boston Bombings” both words with capital letters, I wrote this as if that was the name of Boston as if the two words belonged together on a headline. This happened not even one week ago and I am already trained to view Boston the way the media wants me to. It is no longer just Boston it is The Boston Bombings.
This will have nothing to do with what I was previously going to write about and I really hope I can make this tie in to the original question but I have a lot on my mind and this is a good place to let it out. Today was a very emotional day for me. What pushed me over the edge and sent me into a flood of tears was this evening at my waterpolo team banquet. I was so sad because from the start of the dinner there was so much negative energy you could feel it in the entire restaurant. I had come to realize that my team was “cliquey” and gossiped about one another behind backs and tonight it really showed. Every girl on the team got an award they were all silly or at least were supposed to be silly but some of them were just mean. One of them in particular really made me re-evaluate our team what we stand for and our ethics. The award basically called the girl out as a slut and a group of girls all started giggling different from the rest of the team. They were giggling at their own inside joke about this girl and I cannot for the life of me let go of how rude that was. I saw the look on my teammates face when the girls began giggling more like cackling at her award and I felt her embarrassment. Had a group of girls done the same thing to me I would have felt awful. I hurt for my teammate. I know this is the definition of empathy a topic we talk about heavily in this class. I just can’t seem to grasp how we can be so mean to each other. All anyone ever wants to do is fit in. As humans it is our instinct to want to belong and to be part of a group. I don’t know why we have to make it so difficult on people to be part of our group. Why are we so quick to exclude people without even giving them a chance? It honestly bothers me how mean we can be to each other. On a larger scale and a way to tie this back into the original comment is that I do not understand how people can intentionally want to harm others. It makes me very sad.

I have had an orgasm. In fact I have had multiple orgasms. I have had multiple orgasms during one round of intercourse. Yes this is true. What is also true is that my partner and I had to work up to it. I did not orgasm the first time we had intercourse nor the second or the third. Building up to the point of orgasm took a long time and a lot of trust on my part. Sex is an intimate act with another person and to be able to find total release with another person means a lot of trust.
Having an orgasm for the first time can be a very scary or embarrassing event. I cried the first time I had an orgasm and I had been in a relationship with the guy for a year. It was like Niagara Falls spilled out of me, I thought I peed on my boyfriend. Literally I said the word “yucky” over and over again. Needless to say I was afraid to have another one. I thought I had done something wrong. Looking back on the situation I can’t help but to laugh hysterically yet also question, why had I felt like I was yucky and had done something wrong? Where did I get the idea that having an orgasm was something to be ashamed of? Luckily I have overcome my fears of having orgasms however in response to the question I could not have an orgasm during a one night stand. It took a year for me to trust my boyfriend enough to orgasm with him. Although we were each other’s firsts so maybe it just took us a year to figure out how to have good sex.
Another point to make taken from my own experience if I want to orgasm I tell my partner exactly what I want. Many girls are too shy or nervous or for whatever reason won’t tell a guy what she likes and then they wonder why it wasn’t any good. Guys are good at telling girls exactly what they want us girls can do the same thing. I think this is where my point about trust comes into play. If it were a one night stand I might not be so confident to tell the person what I want and how I want it. I also might not trust the person with helping me find my release. I want to find my orgasm with someone who will share the experience with me and not claim it for their own. If I had an orgasm with a guy on a one night stand and he takes my orgasm as if he’s the only guy who could make that happen, my pride would be hurt. I haven’t yet had a one night stand so my theories are a little biased but I think many would agree with my points.

The topic of porn and who searches what is a great topic. I think it gives spectacular insight into different cultures norms and taboos. The long way to go about answering the question of why a country which is looks up more of one type of porn than the other has much to do with whether they are a largely matriarchal society or patriarchal society. This is definitely not the only factor and I will elaborate on another train of thought later on but for now this will be the argument. There are certain regions in Africa, Asia, and the Americas which follow a matriarchy. This means that the lineage follows through the females. In these kinds of societies I would predict that lesbian and opposite sex porn would be more common or teen porn. I think teen porn would be more common because typically societies which follow a matriarch are indigenous people where they marry at a young age. Where as in a patriarchal society where the men are in charge I would expect maybe opposite sex to be more common with the exception of one indigenous patriarchal society I can’t remember the name of the tribe but for the boys to become men in the tribe they have to give the leader a blow job and basically swallow the semen and because he swallowed the semen of a man he is now a man. It sounds weird but I guess, but I’m in no position to judge. So for a society like that I think gay porn might have a higher look up rate.
Aside from the matriarchy and patriarchy making a difference between most searched porn, I think in oppressed societies whatever has the most stigma attached to it will be the most searched. I would like to call this the “rebellious adolescent syndrome”. Good name right? It’s the same concept as when your mom tells you not to do something and because she told you not to do it, you automatically go do it. It doesn’t matter what the act is it’s the fact that she told you it was bad and not to do it that makes you want to do it. I think the same goes for countries that are told being gay is a sin worthy of death. The people do not know what it means to be gay yet they are being told that it is unacceptable. What can you expect? They have a natural combination of curiosity and rebellion. And that right there is my final answer in one statement-I think people in oppressed countries have a higher search rate for gay porn because they are curious and want the thrill of rebelling.

The difference between helping foreign countries versus helping the Native Americans is the proximity. Native Americans live in the USA therefore they are viewed as having an equal opportunity. They (the Native Americans) do not have to live on the reservations. It is a choice. They choose to live in poverty on the reservations, they choose to take on the title of being lazy, and they choose to continue to practice their culture. Even though they clearly should stop practicing their culture and take advantage of their equal opportunity. They obviously have not received the memo that there is only one culture and one religion in this country and because they have chosen to ignore that they have not and will not be helped. I hope you’re catching my sarcasm. But truly I believe they are just viewed as another part of America’s projects. The Native American’s are easily swept under the rug. They are America’s skeleton in the closet, although they are still living. America does not want to confront its own problems. We do not want to help our own problems because that means we actually have problems. Part of the American culture is pretending as if you have no problems, Americans have no cares in the world except to make money. We have a very difficult time confronting our problems this goes for personal and national dilemmas. Maybe not all Americans are faced with the difficulty of confronting their problems but I would venture to say most are. It is easier to focus on someone else’s problems and “fix” their problems. Then stand back with a big fake smile and say “look at what I did, isn’t that nice of me” and expect a pat on the ass for “fixing” someone else’s problems. From there it turns into a domino effect, we fixed up that country so nicely let’s move right on over and fix another. I still have another one hundred words to write but I’m out of things to say. I really believe we neglect to help the Native Americans and help aid other countries because it is easier to fix someone else’s problems than it is to confront our own. This isn’t the only situation where we see something in our own country being neglected. We see neglect in America’s ghettos, we see it in our unemployment rate, and neglect is seen in the democratic system. It is time we step up and face our problems take them on head strong and develop a means to embrace the Native American culture. America should find a way to incorporate the Native Americans into this new culture in a meaningful way so they can grow and share the history of US soil.

. Sure the getting a job system is screwed up but there will always be some sort of barrier made up by the people on top of the mountain no matter what color their skin is. I say keep the connections based method and when it doesn’t work in my favor give me five minutes to complain about it and get over it.

So far this has been completely one sided coming from a white-middle class-female-college student, but I have to say the brown team does things pretty much the same way I do. One of my best friends from the brown team attends USC and is part of a black women’s honors society and basically what they do is attend career fairs and go on field trips and make connections for black people. The yellow team even has this too. At UC Davis they have a whole sorority of just Chinese girls and all they do is go around making connections. As long as the whole making connections method is working then why not continue with it. I don’t see why anyone should try and change the system now.

. I constantly seek situations where I am able to put myself out there and meet people and make meaningful connections such as attending career fairs and volunteering. I think it is amazing how far a little volunteering can get you. I also talk to a lot of people, this allows me to find out more information about them and generally people like it when you take a genuine interest in their life. Getting to know people being friendly with them and before you know it they’re handing you a business card.

I am a firm believer in making connections. That is what I have been taught my whole life; it is about who you know. It has been about who you know since the beginning of western civilization. Getting jobs based on who you know has worked well this far so why fix what isn’t broken, right? It’s not just the white team that engages in “making connections” or giving jobs based on whether you know the person or not it’s all people. Black, brown, yellow, red, and blue alike will give a job to someone they know over a “more qualified” person. The problem is the more qualified person is only a piece of paper to the employer. The more qualified person is a cover letter and a resume perfectly tailored to make the person seem more qualified. Even if the person truly is more qualified who’s to say they aren’t a complete jerk or someone you don’t want to spend 5 days out of the week with. I completely support the “it’s who you know” method and maybe that’s because so far it has worked in my favor. I don’t want to say it has worked in my favor without my effort though.

My pre-judgment on how I would answer this question was congested with my tunnel vision thought that the U.S. should not provide help. However after listening to the full question I immediately thought of the word altruism. Altruism is the principle or practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to the welfare of others (definition retrieved from dictionary.com). Delving off into the conversation of whether altruism exists or not I take the extreme side of believing it does not. Everyone has their own agenda and there will always be alternative motives for people to perform an act of kindness. I believe that people help other people to help themselves get ahead, which is very selfish and un-altruistic. Perhaps people do not set out with malicious intent to help others just so they can get ahead rather, there is that natural seed in every human being of competition. Life is a competition in every way imaginable, life is a competition, a survival of the fittest if you will and it is natural for us as humans to want to strive to be better than our neighbor. Life is natural selection, a competition to decipher the weak from the strong. Let me clarify my views on modern natural selection, it is now a competition between the haves and the have nots. The concept of altruism comes full circle in relation to the U.S. helping Haiti. A good question to ask ourselves as Americans, ‘why are we helping Haiti?’ I think the U.S. government is helping Haiti, not in an effort to help Haiti’s economy and build Haiti to be self sufficient but rather to push for the U.S. agenda of staying on top. On the outside the U.S. agenda shows that we are sending Haitian’s our rice because they were hit with a terrible storm leaving them with nothing. If I didn’t know any better I’d say that is great use of pathos by the U.S. government. On the inside though, the story is played out quite differently. The inside story the U.S. government is saying we have too much rice, in order to get rid of it we will pose to the U.S. citizens that the Haitian’s conditions are so extreme that they cannot sustain themselves. Now that the U.S. citizens believe Haiti needs their help they will then be in favor of U.S. government intervention, i.e. selling U.S. rice to Haiti at a low cost. While U.S. citizens think the Haitian’s want/need our help they are not aware that the U.S. government is forcing the Haitians to purchase the U.S. rice. Forcing the Haitians to purchase U.S. rice compromises the Haitian rice farmers business and shuts the local rice fields down. This is not fair to the Haitians and forcing them to buy U.S. rice does more harm than good in the long run. In regards to Haiti I think giving is more harmful than beneficial.

I wish I could outright say I do not fear death but the truth of the matter is I do. Maybe I do not exactly fear death itself but I fear things which can cause death. I am terribly afraid of spiders so afraid that if I see a spider in a room I will avoid the room for a whole day. It is almost ridiculous borderline annoying how afraid of spiders I am but the ultimate reason why I am afraid of spiders is because they can bight and kill me. I think everyone fears death in their own way. Even the daredevils who pull deadly stunts and claim not to fear death in someway fear it. I believe the reason they pull the stunts is because they are afraid of not being remembered after they die. I guess that is a depressing thought not being remembered after you die. The best way to be remembered is to either do something great or not die. For those who chose not to die may the force be with them. I mildly fear death because it is mysterious and a topic that is fairly taboo to discuss but I still want to die at some point. I do believe that I can wear out my welcome here on earth. I am also curious what will happen after I die. I want to know where I will go or what I will become. I do not believe in reincarnation it was not something I was taught while growing up but I am not opposed to it being real. What if it is real? I want to know what I will be in my next life. What if purgatory is real? I want to know how much time I owe for all of my sins. I find these things interesting and when I think about the after life I almost get excited for death to come (in a non-morbid way). Death is a part of life whether I fear it or not, it is inevitable and impossible to defy so why bother fear it? I am not about to go kill myself but when I am old and death is upon me I won't run away from it. This is difficult to discuss clearly because I don't think about it often. When I picture myself in different scenarios of death I have different thoughts. If I were held at gun point I would be afraid of death but if I were 80 and in the hospital I would not be afraid of death in fact I would probably welcome it. To answer the question, I am sometimes afraid of death.