en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/764133 Comments by fmh109 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/stories-for-uplift__trashed/#IDComment70732302 I kind of wanted to cry too watching these videos. They really were so uplifting and so sweet. I love that we got a chance to comment on something so wonderful and caring instead of the usual more unsettling topics we discuss in race relations. I hope that maybe next year Sam decides to include more lessons that inspire and motivate others to really care for others around them instead of focusing on past transgressions and all the bad things that exist in the world. These videos have really inspired me to consider other’s situations and it really illustrates a quote that I love, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:12:02 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/stories-for-uplift__trashed/#IDComment70732302 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/stories-for-uplift__trashed/#IDComment70731691 I completely agree with you. It is so easy to form casual friendships with others, but so much more complicated to commit that kind of kindness and courage to someone you barely know. This man really gave up a part of himself to someone he had no personal or intimate connection with. I would also love to believe that I could sacrifice something like my kidney for another person in a dire situation, I’m not sure that I could, but after seeing this video I think that I would make a much more committed attempt to really evaluate my final decision. Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:06:25 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/stories-for-uplift__trashed/#IDComment70731691 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/stories-for-uplift__trashed/#IDComment70731091 I am so glad Sam posted some videos to warm our hearts. I feel like I am usually upset or unsettled after watching videos or reading articles posted on the race relations website, it was nice to watch two videos to counteract all the negativity in the world. It just goes to show that for all the hatred and discrimination and apathy out there, their opposites exist as well, and I would like to think that there is more good than bad. The video about the man offering his kidney to his favorite checkout woman at the grocery store was probably the single most sweet and caring video I have ever seen. He asked nothing in return, his only desire was to help another human being. This unconditional love and caring for the human condition is truly inspirational for everyone to really consider what you can do for others instead of writing off their concerns. I think this man really exemplified the best of the human spirit and I commend him for being so selfless and charitable. I think that often people only make such personal and selfless offers if someone in their family is ill and I think if more people hear this man’s story perhaps it will inspire others to consider what they can do for others and sacrifice for more than just immediate family. I think it is hard to imagine going through surgery for another person, but I think it might be harder for me to say no if I knew I would be able to save someone’s life. Being on dialysis is not living the way humans are meant to live, and this man sacrificed his own potential well being to improve the life of another. It is truly inspiring. I also found the video of the two kids utterly adorable. They probably could not have found a more charismatic and engaging young boy to interview… he really tugged at my heartstrings. I loved how the message they were presenting came at the end of the video and as an audience you were presented with the children’s answers before seeing the overall theme of the video. I think the children represented such innocence and acceptance, which is so often missing past adolescence. It is so interesting how children develop their worldviews at such a young age and there should be a lot of emphasis placed on their cultural and moral development. What adults say around kids has such an impact on the way they think of others and I love that this video brought attention to that. I think these videos were the perfect way to start the week before finals and I hope that everyone gets a chance to watch and feel a bit more uplifted about all the good that humanity offers instead of always being brought down by the bad. Mon, 26 Apr 2010 23:01:10 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/stories-for-uplift__trashed/#IDComment70731091 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/tent-cities-in-haiti__trashed/#IDComment70326548 The resourcefulness of these people really is amazing. I do believe that people just choose to go on despite what happens to them. They could have either lain down and died or worked with the few resources they had to turn this disaster around. It says so much for the strength of the human spirit and the innate will to live that it is unimaginable to me to go through a situation like that. What is the most shocking is something Sam said, that most likely these tent cities will be around for years before they can turn the country around. Sat, 24 Apr 2010 21:41:35 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/tent-cities-in-haiti__trashed/#IDComment70326548 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/tent-cities-in-haiti__trashed/#IDComment70325893 It is very interesting to see that no matter how devastating an event, life still goes on. People still need to find some semblance of their lives before the earthquake, and help others to do the same. They saw the need for certain necessities like shelter and water, and once those were generally met, they moved on to providing entertainment and luxuries like movies and salon functions. In a very small way, Haiti’s tent cities represent the change in national economies all over the world from the beginning of time. Once basic necessities are met, people start to purchase and bargain for the things they desire on top of that which they need just to survive. Sat, 24 Apr 2010 21:38:04 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/tent-cities-in-haiti__trashed/#IDComment70325893 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment70324115 It is so hard to imagine what life inside prison cells is like. There are so many movies and books that try to illustrate to the reader how the inmates live and survive, but they fail in truly providing knowledge to those on the outside. I think this letter really described well the many layers of human condition for its readers. How the man described the men hating each other to the fact that they were embracing and helping each other in a time of despair, it was really beautifully written. I do not know how I feel now about life imprisonment. I always believed that the crime of murder is too horrendous to perhaps let happen again by someone. But it was also discussed in my CAS class how much we are paying to keep all these men incarcerated. And if men really do repent what they have done and know in their hearts it will not be repeated, then perhaps it is in our best interest to let them out. I think what this letter really offered to me as self-reflection about my own opinions about life imprisonment. I had never really taken the time to consider how I really felt about locking people away for good, but I am not so sure I think it is the best idea now. I know this class is supposed to get us to think about things we might not have had to discuss before in everyday conversation and this letter is one topic that particularly struck home with me. I guess we just never really discussed prison at home—other than to warn my brothers not to end up there. I guess I just never really realized that the people who are in jail could grow from the experience, as people are able to grow from anything. I heard about an interesting psychological study where the brains of convicted felons were actually scanned. Apparently there is an area of the brain just behind the left ear that is in charge of feelings of remorse and guilt and some people do not have sufficient brain tissue in that area to feel the same as others do. This could explain scientifically why some people are racked with guilt over very small transgressions and others do not feel remorse over taking another’s life. I wonder if the science progresses whether or not we will at some point be able to discern those prisoners who really do feel bad and would not repeat the same actions, and those who still might in the future. Of course, to do it scientifically would still take all the humanity out of it, but perhaps it is a start. Sat, 24 Apr 2010 21:32:00 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/letter-from-an-inmate__trashed/#IDComment70324115 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64273966 I think the story about the little girl coming home and referring to herself as “dirty” is not necessarily bad, I think it is the natural course of young kids, like Sam said. When white kid’s skin turns brown it means they need a bath, the other child was only trying to logically explain the difference in skin color. I think that the way situations like that are handled, and especially that that child’s parents should have talked to him before about how much diversity and variety and beauty there is in the world. I feel like if parents take a more responsible role in teaching their children about the differences in everyone in the world then situations like this would be more rare, and less painful for everyone involved. Sat, 27 Mar 2010 00:22:47 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64273966 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64273472 I do not think that I would find that disturbing in the least bit. I think it is more natural to want to play with dolls that resemble you. That is why American Dolls has a doll you can build to match your resemblance based on skin, eye, and hair color. If there were even half the amount of children who preferred a black doll over a white doll I would have felt better about the video, but it is the lack of self-worth they see in their skin color that reflects their doll choices, as can be noted by their descriptions of the dolls as “nice” or “bad” based on whether they are black or white. Sat, 27 Mar 2010 00:17:42 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64273472 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64273193 I cannot begin to explain how that video made me feel. To see those little girls and boys struggle with a decision over which doll they prefer—based on skin color, was agonizing. To hear them say that the black doll was “bad” and the white doll “nice” …I cannot even put into words how I feel about that. It really does make me wonder at what age we develop our self-esteem and self-worth, and how the world around us influences that. In the last ten years I think we have seen much more diversity in the way of toys, but we still have much much farther to go. Especially when dolls of color are priced lower than white dolls as was the case in Walmart. According to employees the price was lowered because the dolls were not selling, which leads me to two conclusions: one, that it is true that children prefer white dolls if the black dolls do not sell, and two, what that says about our culture in a larger view, that color is valued less than whiteness? I should perhaps interject now that I am white, pretty average, from suburban Virginia. One of the things that gave me pause during Sam’s presentation was one interesting fact I remembered from my childhood. I had a black doll. When American Girl Dolls were still coveted assets among young girls, I had two of the more rare varieties, the red head, Felicity, and the black girl, Addy. I am not really sure why I was attracted to these dolls but strangely enough I did not a white doll with blonde hair that would naturally reflect my own looks. Perhaps I was just one strange anomaly in the research of young children, but I think that it is important to note that perhaps if you are raised to appreciate others (not just from a very liberal family—as mine is not) then perhaps the stories behind the dolls are more important than the dolls themselves. This may have been true for me because as I recall I was of an older age than the children featured in the experiment, but it is still interesting to note that that the opposite effect may be true. I do not think I will ever forget the one little girl around the 4:50 minute mark when she asked to the respond to the question, “ And can you give me the doll that looks like you?” She immediately reaches for the white doll before slowly changing her mind and pushing forward the black doll. Those five seconds in the video had enough of an impact to probably remain with me forever. I do not know at what age self-awareness and self-esteem is largely formed, but we do need to do something to make minorities as main stream in our toys and entertainments as they are in the country today. Sat, 27 Mar 2010 00:15:04 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/those-damn-dolls__trashed/#IDComment64273193 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63063847 As a white person, I was very upset and perplexed during Sam’s lecture on Native Americans. The reason for this due to questions from black students about why they should feel any guilt for what happened to the Native Americans since their ancestors were brought over involuntarily so they did not need to take any responsibility for what happened in our history. Perhaps it is an example of “white guilt” that not only did I feel terrible about what happened to another people, I felt actually enraged that someone could write off what happened in the past and feel no tie to it whatsoever. I think that while perhaps white people learn to feel guilty about what our ancestors did over time, we still have no reason to believe it was specifically our ancestors. That is what makes me so angry during class when others try to brush any bad feelings away from themselves because “they had nothing to do with it.” It’s like Sam said, if you live here now, you live on Red Land, and I think if you cannot connect and feel some sort of guilt to what happened to another culture whether it was you and your ancestors or not, then what do you feel guilty about? Fri, 19 Mar 2010 22:58:37 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63063847 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63061092 I really like your views on encouraging race relations from a young age. I vaguely remember some teachers touching briefly on Hannukah and Kwaanza while I was in elementary school, but honestly, cultures should be explored more than once a year. I grew up in an area that I consider very diverse with many people from the Middle East, South America, and Asia. I think it would help children be more accepting at a young age to learn about the cultures of other children in their classes. While I like to think I had friends of many different cultures in school, I really had no idea what their home life was like, what they valued, what traditions they kept, and this would have been a remarkable thing to learn while still young. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 22:48:43 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63061092 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/the-world-is-full-of-surprises__trashed/#IDComment63059087 I really enjoyed reading your opinion of the article but also of people’s responses to it. I found the entire article interesting, and yes, surprising. Perhaps it is because I feel that in this time of greater technology and a more interconnected world that it astonishes me that these people and these tribes exist and thrive and this is the first I ever heard of them. I would have thought that the discovery of these people would be more newsworthy, or is it like you said, people only trust science and therefore it was not newsworthy until scientifically proven? And I mean to clarify that while I am sure this was groundbreaking to discover, it is not as widely known as I would have predicted such a find to be. I am so intrigued by this article from an historical angle, I just assume others would feel the same! It is really neat that we have the kind of technology that can trace a person’s lineage so far back in the past. To know, without a doubt that these people originated from Arabia and even to know that they originated from a people called Cohen. That is so astounding to me in itself, but to know that they are living and thriving descendents still carrying on the traditions and rituals of their ancestors is fascinating. I found your point interesting that it is silly to believe that people around the world did not travel just because we have no documentation of it. That is so true and I never really considered the idea before. But not only did these people travel thousands of miles they, and their descendents have kept their heritage as one of the most important things inherited in their culture. It is really a testament to me how young our history is here in America and reminds me that I have no such lasting tradition in my culture. Perhaps it is because of this I find Judaism and Catholicism so compelling with the rich history and ritual that is found in both religious practices. I hope you think it is as cool as I do to be a part of a culture with such strong and long standing traditions. I hope that there are enough Lemba who believe in their ancestral ties and the importance of tradition that we will still be able to trace a line back to the Cohens in the future. While I do not find it surprising that over time some individuals have pursued other religions or decided not to live in the same isolation their ancestors did, I hope there are some who perpetuate this rich heritage into the future so that it is not lost among the smaller more interconnected world that we have today. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 22:41:14 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/the-world-is-full-of-surprises__trashed/#IDComment63059087 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/fired-for-a-scarf__trashed/#IDComment59986314 I completely agree with you. As a marketing major this kind of situation is not only utterly ridiculous, its really stupid business practices. I am sure if Abercrombie knew that this termination would result in such terrible press they never would have fired this young women. But the fact alone that they cannot tolerate someone other than Caucasian representing their company as a sales person is terrible for their image and for their outreach. I do not know if Abercrombie will recover from this incident like they have others, I know personally it gives me great pause to continue business there when I know situations like this are deemed acceptable by corporate. Sat, 6 Mar 2010 03:59:00 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/fired-for-a-scarf__trashed/#IDComment59986314 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/fired-for-a-scarf__trashed/#IDComment59984977 I think that because Hani followed the look protocol as far as the colors of her headscarf are concerned then her termination was uncalled for and unnecessary. If you really think that Abercrombie had a right to terminate her due to its “image as its lifeblood” then I think you are completely disregarding an entire facet of their market that would appreciate the fact that someone in headscarf works there. Reaching out to all customers and potential customers is what good marketing does and by firing this young woman they not only ignore a huge demographic of consumers but they’ve now also completely pissed them off. Sat, 6 Mar 2010 03:55:50 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/fired-for-a-scarf__trashed/#IDComment59984977 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/whats-with-the-theme-parties__trashed/#IDComment59982698 In my experience, the reason that groups decide to host themed parties is to facilitate conversation and to easily meet new people while they are out. I have always enjoyed themed parties and think they are particularly beneficial for any individuals who are a bit shy. When you and everyone around you are dressed like buffoons it becomes easier to laugh with, and at, each other’s wardrobe and theme choices thereby making a conversation much easier to start among strangers. I think it is very easy to feel personally affronted by people’s actions even when they were not intended for you. Sometimes it is important to take a step back and realize that while some things are racist and degrading to others, some things are done in innocence. I have never been to a theme party where I wanted to upset someone or do something that could be considered racist. Maybe I have accidently without knowing it, but it is kind of like accidently hurting someone’s feelings… if you do not do it on purpose is it really as painful? I do not think that themed parties are purposefully racist or degrading in anyway. For any party it is really up to the attendee to dress however they like and be creative with their outfit. For a pimps and hoes party I had friends dress up as pimps so they would not have wear slutty outfits and even for a “South of the Border” theme I had a friend dress up as a piñata. I think if you are feeling upset by certain people’s choices and decisions then you should just take a step and really consider if they are doing it to hurt someone or just in the name of fun. If it is people you are close to, ask them. It is so much easier to just talk things out with people than get more and more upset about something that they probably would never even think would upset you. I stand by what I said before that really the main reason people have themed parties is to help make conversation and meeting people easier for their guests. It is the same as seating people who do not know each other together at dinners so that everyone can mingle and meet each other. While some themes might not be exactly politically correct, I do not think that people choose themes to target any group in a racist or demeaning manner. I am glad you asked this question though because it gives me pause if my actions have ever hurt someone’s feelings and I will probably be more cautious about my future actions in regards to how others may view them. Sat, 6 Mar 2010 03:46:36 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/whats-with-the-theme-parties__trashed/#IDComment59982698 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/the-xxx-bible-who-wouldve-thought__trashed/#IDComment57576629 It is interesting to me that you used the phrase, “how things used to be.” I could not help thinking that way during the LGBT lecture. Historically, it was very acceptable for men and women to have sexual relations with each other, people of their own sex, to have multiple partners at once, to have multiple life partners, etc. It is only in recent history that we see this social stigma of same-sex partnerships and relations. Before it was socially unacceptable to experiment, many people did and were able to find what made them happy no matter what social stigmas that might defy today. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:33:52 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/the-xxx-bible-who-wouldve-thought__trashed/#IDComment57576629 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-six__trashed/#IDComment57575536 I think it is a much easier step from friendship to something more for women. Women historically have always had closer more intimate friendships than men. It is not uncommon to see women holding hands or kissing each other on the cheek or having sleepovers. I think because of this and the way girls are raised it is not a far leap then to see them kiss on the mouth and that is why it seems more acceptable than two men doing the same thing. It is just the type of same sex relationships we form from infancy and those are very different for men and women. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:20:38 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/lgbt-class-question-six__trashed/#IDComment57575536 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/another-reason-why-gay-marriage-matters__trashed/#IDComment57575068 I think that being raised helping out in a family Christmas store, I was exposed to and learned to appreciate the gay community basically from birth. Therefore it has been hard for me growing up to see how much discrimination and distrust that exists for people I considered to be my mentors and family friends. I remember when the term “that’s so gay” began to be a popular phrase and it was strictly forbidden in my house because my mom found it so offensive. I was taught that there is nothing wrong with being gay and so I find it hard to see the other side of the argument. I liked one of the flip-camera comments about gay marriage versus civil unions. I do believe that marriage is an institution of the church and they have the right to marry, or not to marry whomever they choose. However, Sam brought up the point in class that the State does sign off on marriage licenses making them valid in the eyes of the law in this country and therefore marriage is important in defining committed long-term partnerships. But I agree with guy on the flip-camera that the inherent issue here is that the State is signing off on marriages, not civil unions. If you can get a paper from the government stating that you and your chosen life partner have all the same rights as any other committed partnership in the country then I think that should be called something other than a marriage so that it can be equal for any type of couple who wish to legally commit themselves to each other. Leave marriages in the church. If a couple wishes their union to be blessed and approved by God then that should be a different and other transaction than that which is approved by the government. In this way, by redefining “marriage” and “civil union” under the law, we can make things equal for any two-some who wish to commit to each other and can save the sanctity of a religious marriage for those persons and their religious centers who desire it. I am sure there are plenty of other ways to solve this problem but it seems to me that this would really be a simple and easy change to pitch to the nation. As Sam said in class, we are in no way at the beginning of this civil rights movement, but perhaps it is time to see some tangible results from all the work people have put into changing these laws. I hope that I will be able to see my friends and colleagues and family members commit to a loved one under the law and be equal in the eyes of our government. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 04:15:07 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/another-reason-why-gay-marriage-matters__trashed/#IDComment57575068 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/why-is-the-conversation-always-about-black-and-white-people__trashed/#IDComment56597368 I completely agree. I do not know where these generalizations come from because they ruin how people approach each other. If you just automatically assume that you cannot be friendly with someone then you will not be. Choosing to see people for who they are is a conscious decision. It is hard to ignore what we have generally been brought up to expect from one another but my absolute favorite people are the ones who surprise me. I think it is important to be open to the idea that people can, and will, surprise you. Accepting and valuing this trait in others will help us all to understand and appreciate each other more. Sat, 13 Feb 2010 04:50:15 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/why-is-the-conversation-always-about-black-and-white-people__trashed/#IDComment56597368 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/why-is-the-conversation-always-about-black-and-white-people__trashed/#IDComment56597177 Racism here may have started when whites decided to enslave blacks, but it did not end when we suddenly decided slavery was over. I think it will take a long time for us to really eradicate something so fundamental as racism as it has, and still, affects so many people in this country. Slavery may be considered the root of racism here, but it obviously is not or we never would have thought it would be okay to enslave others. Racism is something we will continue to have to consciously work against now and in the future. It will not end suddenly because it did not start suddenly. Sat, 13 Feb 2010 04:47:53 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/why-is-the-conversation-always-about-black-and-white-people__trashed/#IDComment56597177