All the things have been said so many times above, but just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of thank yous and tears. I'm not a joiner and haven't commentated much, but I have been here every day reading every post and cackling with glee for at least, oh, two or three years? TNC sent me over. And those years would have been so much less rich and beautiful without The Toast.

I can't bring myself to read any of the articles from this week because I am afraid they will be the last ones. Will there be more monks??? I have opened a new Chrome window that is just filling up with all my Toast tabs and will save them forever and ever, or at least until I have a bad day and Really Need Them.

I just moved and it is THE WORST. But listening to Lemonade on repeat definitely helped. It's angry and sad at the same time and then hopeful at the end, which is kind of how moving is? Good luck!

Thank you for writing this, it dovetails so well with my own writing experience except after struggling for years to write "good novels" I have pretty much refocused my attention on an entirely different career (which I also like and which pays much better!) and told myself I'll write again someday in the far off future.

I was also writing enormous amounts of Buffy fic when I went to college to study literary writing and suddenly felt like I had to hide this huge portion of myself. Post-college I got (secretly) really into romance novels and wrote one and started a couple others... but never told any of my friends about it. It's only now at 31 that I am starting to out myself to my friends (just a tiny bit!) as a fanfiction and romance novel reader and writer. I can't even bring myself to tell my therapist. Meanwhile my literary novel is metaphorically growing dusty on my computer. I care about it! I love it! But it's so much easier and more fun to go write some Clairedevil fic instead.

Another thing that really struck me in your piece is the importance of people reading and responding to your work. it's lovely to think that we're only writing for ourselves, but knowing someone out there has connected to something coming out of my brain or felt something because of my words, and getting that feedback almost instantaneously... that's pretty incredible, and not to be undervalued. I think in "literary" circles this is often overlooked or pooh poohed... you're not supposed to like your own work too much, and no one else is supposed to like it too much either.

TL; DR: congratulations on finding a way to support yourself as a writer and getting past at least some of the many, many emotional and logistical roadblocks we put up. Keep at it!

This really has been the week from hell. Moving with a bad back. Traveling for work/going to a conference with a bad back. (Back pain is the wooooorst ladies.) Former (sort of/still paying rent/have to deal with clean up and move out) housemate deciding because of one snarky text message that she hates my guts and needs to tell me all about it. Still a huge amount of packing/cleaning/unpacking to do, all with a bad back. And now The Toast.

Edit: and I can't even get a gif of Buffy crying to load, sigh

Thanks! You're absolutely right those aren't mutually exclusive. Both asking AND paying for help are things that (for me) are about being an adult.

That said, I spoke to the movers and they said it would only take them a couple hours to pack probably (whereas my friends would likely take a lot of time from them and me directing them) so I think I am going to go for the professionals. But it's a very good point that it doesn't hurt to ask!

Thanks for the reality check!

Just need to whine for a moment because I am currently in bed with: a cold, menstrual cramps, and last not CERTAINLY not least HORRIBLE LOWER BACK PAIN FOR NO APPARENT REASON. I have movers coming on Monday and am supposed to be throwing a one-last-hurrah-for-the-apartment party on Saturday. I have no idea how I am going to pack up all my shit because I cannot move without crying. And all my besties are out of town for the weekend and I am horrible at asking people for help so I'm not sure how to ask not-as-close-friends to help me pack. Or if I even should? Maybe I just call the movers and tell them I need them to pack as well as move? I know they'll do it, but I also know it will cost me $1,000 and am already feeling super stressed about money* because I am paying double rent for a month and a half so as not to leave my current housemates in the lurch when I move.

*Harkening back to Nicole's post about money last week, my super stress is not really earned because I could take the money for this out of my emergency fund. Throwing out your back right before a move is an emergency, right? But I have lots of growing-up-poor fear/shame/etc that makes me not want to do that.

So: mostly just needed to whine about the triple whammy my body decided to put on my this week. But sanity checks re: asking for help vs being an adult and paying professionals also appreciated.

YES on books coming out first as a protective spell! I am currently confronting the sadness of giving in built-in bookshelves, but also the excitement of getting to buy new bookshelves, but one way or another, unearthing/rearranging/getting to gaze lovingly at your books in a new space is possibly my favorite thing about moving.

Hello dear Toasties. I've been a lurker for years but trying to be a more active participant these days. I work in criminal justice reform (hi person who just won a prisoner's rights case, that's awesome!) and also read/write/knit/bake/Hamilton, etc. Pretty typical Toastie!

Anyway, I am moving in a week from a roommate situation into my very own one bedroom. I've lived alone before (and loved it) but now I work from home so could be spending a lot of time alone. I have a couple related discussion questions for anyone still hanging out on the thread:

1) For other Toasties who live alone, what's your favorite part? what do you do to keep yourself sane and connected to the world? on the other hand, what do you do that's awesome and weird and you would never do with roommates around?

2) Please send your favorite apartment porn! I am particularly looking for favorite small-kitchen fixes and appliances and good lighting ideas (my new living room has no overhead lights so I need ALL THE LAMPS. and it's a rental, so no re-wiring) but also just enjoying imagining all the possibilities if someone has a favorite decorating blog or place to get great furniture or whatever. The new place has a very 50s vibe but my personal decorating style tends to be more neo-Victorian, so... anything in there really.