en-us https://www.intensedebate.com/users/763006 Comments by errett25 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68085791 What it all boils down to, however, is self esteem, If a girl can look past the magazine covers, the television shows, and the superficial world, and be happy with herself, then that is all that matters. But our society is so stuck on the "perfect" image that it has burned a hole in girls heads to make them think they will never be good enough when they are already great. why do we leave it to hollywood to tell us what is acceptable and what is not, the world is all about variety, not everyone likes the same things, or else this world would be bland. Girls just need to be able to look at the whole society and say "you know what. i dont give a shit" just like guys do. Wed, 14 Apr 2010 21:00:35 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68085791 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68085771 Part of the societal problem against girls, are themselves, plain and simple. Girls compete against each other, and if they feel threatened, the names start coming out about these girls, whore, slut, and all the others. i have actually had this conversation with girls, and they said they tend to feel threatened by girls that look better than them. Here is a little secret, confidence is what makes you noticed, if you stay confident in yourself and show that you have nothing to worry about, that other girl does not matter. Guys on the other hand, if they lose out, they say oh well and move on to another, able to not give a shit. Guys do make fun of other guys too, but not as badly as girls do to each other. Wed, 14 Apr 2010 21:00:28 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68085771 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68085722 As much as any guy may try to deny that they do not "conform" to the norms of society, they do in one way or another. Although it may be something small that it is barely noticeable. However, guys do have the upper advantage on girls, not because girls are pressured more, but because guys are alot better at not giving a shit. Everytime there is a guy on a magazine cover, he is always muscular, 6 pack abs, tan, the whole deal. In my eyes, that of a guy, i would think for girls this is the dream guy and is what any girl would want and never be able to pass up. Therefore, guys get the idea that if your not in shape then girls will not give you a chance. Now, guys are more heartleess and superficial than girls are, which makes the pressure harder, but again, that is because guys are better at not giving a shit. But there are girls as well who are superficial and only want the guys who are tan, muscular, have money, etc.. Look at all of your realty shows, how many have people overweight, tanless people? its a disgrace, people should be judged by character, not looks. Wed, 14 Apr 2010 21:00:08 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/04/what-about-the-men__trashed/#IDComment68085722 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/revisioning-the-revisioning-stage__trashed/#IDComment65277840 Growing up, my main group of friends were white, but that wasnt because we did not want black people around, we always called everyone to play baseball, basketball, football, whatever, and sometimes they would accept, sometimes not. There were tons of kids, through little league and other friends, that i would see, they would be of another race, and we would get along great because we never saw color, we just saw each other. When i got to Penn State, i never thought to myself "There is a ton of white people" because i never cared to look at color. I noticed alot of asians due to i didnt grow up around many, so that was cool to see more cultures like that, but in the end, i never cared to look at color, because i never judge a place like that. So i believe some people can have a head start on the stages, and yes some can fall back, but by the time i got to Penn State, i had matured enough to where color was not a matter for me, and i tried not to see things in color, but to just see things as they are. This campus could be dominantly black, i would still walk around with a smile, being polite to everyone i see, and going about my day. Thu, 1 Apr 2010 19:37:35 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/revisioning-the-revisioning-stage__trashed/#IDComment65277840 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/revisioning-the-revisioning-stage__trashed/#IDComment65277714 I do think that i have been through most of the stages to where i saw the racism and inequality, tried to make a connection to better understand the sides of my friends, and then been pushed away because i am white and cannot understand. Also i have had black people use racism on me, in which i was thought to myself "how am i to help if they dont want it from white people and just become racist to us?" But i still understood that not all black people were like this due to knowing many black people who werent that way. Plus my parents always raised me to understand that everyone is the same, deserves a chance, and nobody is below me, i am not better than anyone else, and we are all equal. Thu, 1 Apr 2010 19:37:22 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/revisioning-the-revisioning-stage__trashed/#IDComment65277714 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/revisioning-the-revisioning-stage__trashed/#IDComment65277597 I am white male and i grew up in a city that was dominantly black. The city was probably a 65/35 percent black to white, so i have associated with black people my whole life. needless to say im not sure i was ever in the pre awakening stage because of the fact i grew up with other races. I cannot remember the first time i saw racism on the black community, but it did happen because of the white community, there were alot of older people who remembered the city when it was safer and more multi cultural, but this was when the steel mills were booming. They had troubles with being able to go with the times. So i did see racism at a young age, but never from myself. Thu, 1 Apr 2010 19:36:57 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/revisioning-the-revisioning-stage__trashed/#IDComment65277597 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64138852 As for the girls and whether or not they should be ashamed in it, why? Why be ashamed of something natural? I understand that it is not something that just is a natural topic of discussion, and rarely do you hear a girl come out of nowhere and say "im bleeding today". It is just not a topic of discussion that society has allowed to be spoken of, but there are people out there who understand the naturalness of the whole process and have no problem with it. If guys had periods, yes it would be different in life, guys tend to not care about the things they talk about and it is a guys world, sorry to say. But as for Sam and his analogy, i think he made a good point in saying, why do women have to hide something that is natural? Fri, 26 Mar 2010 03:35:19 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64138852 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64138829 As for Sam bringing it up in lecture, i think he is right, its a natural thing that occurs, it is not a chosen action of the body, it happens naturally, and the fact that him and his wife have such an open life and do not find many things offensive is amazing. His usage of women and their periods i assume was his attempt to make guys see what its like, and more importantly white guys, to be looked down upon, or outcasted. He uses a great analogy with the being left handed, you dont realize the struggles because you dont think about it because you dont have to. grant it the period may be a little far stretched as an analogy, its still something to think about when thinking that people can be outcasted, not because of who they are, but because of the natural things that make them who they are. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 03:35:04 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64138829 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64138797 Here is the deal with guys and why they are so "uncomfortable" with knowing that girls are having their periods, and this is coming from a guys point of view. When a guy hears about a girl having a period, its more of a sexual thing, at least the way i see it. no guy wants to hear about a girls vagina emitting blood because they think about the vagina as a sexual pleasure, and not as something that bleeds. I personally could care less when a girl says she is bleeding or however the term is used. My ex girlfriend and i used to talk about hers, and when i knew it was around, i would be like "ok" and have no other reaction but to knowing she wasnt pregnant. Now i always helped her out, let her anger against me go, and do what made her happy because i understand it is a stressful and often times painful time for females. Fri, 26 Mar 2010 03:34:45 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/whats-the-big-deal-with-periods__trashed/#IDComment64138797 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63029907 As for our current society, why is it important to look back at the history of things and make the current people feel guilt? Why can't we just realize what happened and try and change things, make the racism less and work on bringing races together, rather than constantly reminding people of the racism that once occurred? if we intend to move on in this country and society, we need to realize the history is in the past, and it will stay there, it is up to us to make the future a better place for all of our eventual children to live in. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 20:22:02 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63029907 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63029878 As for the comments going around about the history of the United States and how this country came to be, of course the true history should be taught, but at waht point in a life is it right? One comment made mention to not exposing a child to such atrocities at a young age, which is a good point. I was not fully exposed to slavery and all that was included until i took a history class in college. My professor, who was white, made sure to expose all of us to every terrible thing that was done and found no need to sugarcoat the facts. I believe that the truth of the U.S should be exposed, but the question is at what age? I think it should be a high school requirement, maybe even as a senior. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 20:21:53 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63029878 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63029704 "White Guilt" may just be one of the most rediculous things that could be said as a phrase. Why the hell should someone feel guilt for something that they had no hand in, and cannot even be sure if their ancestors had a hand in? I am white, and i am unable to trace my ancestors farther back than a great grandmother on one side and a grandmother on the other side. Even if i did find out a some point in my life that my ancestors did have a hand in the genocide, why should I feel guilty for something that I had no part in? Do i feel bad about the troubles that the Native Americans had to go through and currently still do? Of course, i do not want to see anyone go through that type of life. I also dont like to see when black, brown, or white people have to go through any type of poverty or misfortune. What about the slaves who faught for the north in the civil war and were involved in battles against the Native Americans? should the decendants of those slaves feel guilty? Puting it all on the white people as a whole is just finding someone to blame for everything. Fri, 19 Mar 2010 20:21:25 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/what-to-do-about-white-guilt__trashed/#IDComment63029704 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/prom-or-no-prom-just-dont-let-the-queer-students-dance-together__trashed/#IDComment61777300 As for the teacher saying "remember where you are" it does not sound as though it is the teachers excuse, but just a reminder of how the South is still behind on many things, for some reason. I would hope that the teachers, as well, would be behind the student. Understanding the South is usualy a more prejudice area, there is no reason to take memories away from a teeneager due to her being a lesbian. We all remember our senior prom, even if it was a bad time, or a great time, and it is a memory that everyone should have. Its a given part of everyones life to be able to enjoy school and all that is offered, and even though each school has different styles of dances, we all have memories of those dances. So for this school to take away a earned memory that would be with her forever, it is a shame. Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:12:55 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/prom-or-no-prom-just-dont-let-the-queer-students-dance-together__trashed/#IDComment61777300 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/prom-or-no-prom-just-dont-let-the-queer-students-dance-together__trashed/#IDComment61777248 This girl has every right to file a suit, make her claim, and better win. Hopefully this becomes such a high profile case that schools across the country take note and do not discriminate on other LGBT. This girl is doing an amazing thing and bringing this to the surface and allowing for other schools to realize what is going on and to hopefully not make this a problem again somewhere down the road for others. I even read in another article that her classmates were saying things like "thanks for ruining my senior year" which does not show much class for the rest of the students. I would think that the students would be behind her for a fellow classmate, no matter her preference. I know if i had a friend and fellow classmate who was of the LGBT community, i would help them and back them up. Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:12:30 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/prom-or-no-prom-just-dont-let-the-queer-students-dance-together__trashed/#IDComment61777248 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/prom-or-no-prom-just-dont-let-the-queer-students-dance-together__trashed/#IDComment61776119 This situation is just absolutely rediculous. If this girl is so open to want to bring her girlfriend to prom, then the rest of the class and maybe school probably know about her being a lesbian. It is not like this was a suprise to the school and they could not handle the shock, or she was doing this as a attention grabber. The prom, if you have a significant other, is a special time in your life at that point. Who are they to withhold that right from a female who happens to be attracted to the same sex? The leaders of this school should be ashamed of themselves for not being open to the world and realizing that this is a common thing. Homosexuality has shed its look of disgrace with the new generations, at least that is how i see it, and if your going to run a school, then you should get with the new way of things. Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:02:30 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/03/prom-or-no-prom-just-dont-let-the-queer-students-dance-together__trashed/#IDComment61776119 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-three__trashed/#IDComment58301549 I actually remember on the first day of class seeing you standing on the side stairwell handing out pencils. I walked right by you, gave you a little head nod, and you gave one back. Walking in your direction, i had no thought of putting you down in my head, although i come from a dominantly black neighborhood and have become pretty good at judging who is going to be a problem and who is going to be cool, and my first impression of you was that you were a respectable guy who was just having fun. There was nothing that stuck out to me that made you seem like a offensive black man, you were just another college kid who was happy and having a good time. Again, i did grow up in a majority black community, i am white, and i have no prejudice towards anyone and always give everyone a fair chance. But like i said, you seemed like a very respectable guy to me from the get go, didnt have a preconcieved notion of you being a bad person. Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:45:41 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-three__trashed/#IDComment58301549 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58298573 This can also be used in reference to another comment that was made in a different video when the kid asked if the policing is different within the different cities, which is true. Those within the richer middle class cities, the only crime you see from there is a DUI or occasionally burglary, but within the lower income sities, you see constant drug related crimes being committed, which almost forces the police to stereotype and crack down and arrest all the dealers they can find to get them off the streets. So i think the numbers for arrests may be lopsided, but i do believe there are just the same amount of dealers black or white.(Part 4) Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:16:38 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58298573 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58298554 I am not gonna say that all the big players in the drug game are white, but you never hear about a leader of a drug ring being busted, it is always those who run the streets. The chances of a white man selling drugs within these run down poverty cities are minimal unless he is known and is understood as an equal to the rest of the community. The white community tries to capitalize on the richer white communities and deal off the streets in more secure places, because they have the abillity to operate behind closed doors in communities in which there is very little suspicion. I have seen this all of my life growing up, knowing that so and so is dealing and there is no pressure on him due to his location, however anyone within my town gets heat just for looking like a person who may be a dealer. (Part 3) Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:16:18 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58298554 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58298521 Growing up within this society, i have seen many failures and few successes with many people i knew and thought had a great chance of getting out of the streets and making it for themselves. However, i do also know that, for those who get into "the game" of selling drugs, 95% were black which means that they are going to have higher numbers among the dealers. The surrounding towns were middle/higher class neighborhoods whose drug users came to my city to pick up a deal. It was of no surprise to the local police where the drugs were coming from. But he big question, as the girl had stated, who is supplying these poor street dealers who put their neck on the line by walking the streets and selling their product? (Part 2) Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:15:57 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58298521 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58298426 You practically took the words right out of my head as for a comment in which i was thinking of saying. The numbers of total arrests for dealers in the black community were higher, but i was thinking the same exact thing, how many of the poor black dealers were being supplied by white kingpins? Obviously the numbre of dealers arrested will be those who are out on the streets, and the dealers you get on the streets are from lower income communities with run down streets and i grew up in a city just like this. I grew up in an old steel mill town on the border of PA and Ohio, dominantly black to a point where i was a minority. (Part 1) Tue, 23 Feb 2010 06:14:37 +0000 https://www.racerelationsproject.org/2010/02/inequality-class-question-four__trashed/#IDComment58298426